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I am an etiquette snob.

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Pollyanna View Post
    I fall into this category. I used to think they were very important but can no longer spend my life worrying about whether or not someone has thanked me in a way I find appropriate. I know most people are appreciative of their gifts and I also know that most people are just overwhelmed with life so if I get a note in any shape or form great, if not, no biggie.

    Heidi and I just caused Emily Post to rollover in her grave.
    I don't think any of us spend our lives worrying about a thank you note, as all of us are busy. But yes, I do think it is common courtesy to take the time to personally thank someone when they put alot of time, money and effort into your wedding. I guess I'm just a southern girl who believes in taking the time to personally show appreciation. Just along the lines of my husband writing thank you notes to all of the people who interviewed him as a way to show appreciation. But like I said, I am an etiquette snob and thoroughly enjoy reading Miss Manners!
    Last edited by Chrisada; 11-11-2009, 12:15 PM.

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    • #32
      Honestly, I worry more about whether *I* have sent out the thank you note than whether I received one from someone else. It is my responsibility and I feel guilty (thanks to my mother) if I don't get one out fast enough, etc.

      But worrying about receiving a thank you - not worth my time. I can't ensure everyone has manners, just want to make sure that I do.
      Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Crystal View Post
        Honestly, I worry more about whether *I* have sent out the thank you note than whether I received one from someone else. It is my responsibility and I feel guilty (thanks to my mother) if I don't get one out fast enough, etc.

        But worrying about receiving a thank you - not worth my time. I can't ensure everyone has manners, just want to make sure that I do.
        I would agree. I would feel awful if I didn't thank people for gifts, but I honestly can't remember if we've recieved thank you notes for gifts we've given people at weddings.

        I think the general unpersonalized note is pretty crappy though, I would rather not recieve anything than that.
        Wife of Anesthesiology Resident

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        • #34
          Originally posted by Crystal View Post
          Honestly, I worry more about whether *I* have sent out the thank you note than whether I received one from someone else. It is my responsibility and I feel guilty (thanks to my mother) if I don't get one out fast enough, etc.

          But worrying about receiving a thank you - not worth my time. I can't ensure everyone has manners, just want to make sure that I do.
          Ditto!

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Pollyanna View Post
            I fall into this category. I used to think they were very important but can no longer spend my life worrying about whether or not someone has thanked me in a way I find appropriate. I know most people are appreciative of their gifts and I also know that most people are just overwhelmed with life so if I get a note in any shape or form great, if not, no biggie.

            Heidi and I just caused Emily Post to rollover in her grave.
            I agree, DH and I have been to three weddings together in the last three years and only received a thank you note from one of the couples. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. The couples thanked us for coming while we were there and that's all that matters. That fact that a thank you note wasn't sent doesn't mean that they weren't grateful for their gifts or that we were there.

            Some people are just not raised that way and it doesn't mean they don't have manners. I think most people go by what they would find acceptable. If they don't expect to get thank you notes for everything, then they're not likely to send notes for everything.

            Having said that, I do think it's tacky to send typed thank you notes for a wedding. How difficult is it to sign a card? All of ours will be hand written.
            Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
            Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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            • #36
              I'll tell you when I need to get a thank you- when I've sent something and not attended the wedding.

              NONE of Rick's nephews have sent us anything to acknowledge that they received our gifts, so I don't know whether any of them got them.

              Jenn

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              • #37
                I would have expected a handwritten thank you note. I'm not perfect and we do sometimes forget to write a not, but not for our wedding or baby gifts. Those all received handwritten notes. In fact, for Kenny, I made the freaking note cards. I'm psychotic.
                Veronica
                Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                • #38
                  Because I'm an ass, I just posted to my SIL Facebook page (because I know she's friended her idiot children) "hey, did Vince get our gift? We didn't get a thank you so I'm just not sure."

                  hahahahahahaha.

                  I love technology.

                  J

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by DCJenn View Post
                    Because I'm an ass, I just posted to my SIL Facebook page (because I know she's friended her idiot children) "hey, did Vince get our gift? We didn't get a thank you so I'm just not sure."

                    hahahahahahaha.

                    I love technology.

                    J

                    Sooo funny!! It is the little jabs that get me through the day!!
                    Brandi
                    Wife to PGY3 Rads also proud mother of three spoiled dogs!! Some days it is hectic, but I wouldn't trade this for anything.




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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by DCJenn View Post
                      Because I'm an ass, I just posted to my SIL Facebook page (because I know she's friended her idiot children) "hey, did Vince get our gift? We didn't get a thank you so I'm just not sure."
                      Love this! I'm not sure what the ettiquette books say, but I'm 100% behind asking (publicly if possible ). On one hand, they'll never learn any better if you don't. On the other, you really have no way of knowing whether they receied it, and they could be thinking that you're rude!
                      Laurie
                      My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                      • #41
                        I wrote about 100 wedding thank you notes on a plane to California for our Honeymoon and I wrote about 30 baby thank you notes as I was flying back from FL yesterday. Really, when you are stuck in on an airplane for 5+ hours, your DH is sleeping, and everyone around is watching "Wipe Out" on the in-air TV, it's not that hard to knock out a bunch of notes.
                        Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by DCJenn View Post
                          Because I'm an ass, I just posted to my SIL Facebook page (because I know she's friended her idiot children) "hey, did Vince get our gift? We didn't get a thank you so I'm just not sure."

                          hahahahahahaha.

                          I love technology.

                          J


                          We sent a $500 (!!!!!) check to DH's cousin for their wedding. They cashed it before the wedding (we couldn't go) but never thanked us for it. That pissed me off. And mass produced thank yous annoy me too.

                          Christine...I also love reading Miss Manners. She cracks me up.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by BonBon View Post


                            We sent a $500 (!!!!!) check to DH's cousin for their wedding. They cashed it before the wedding (we couldn't go) but never thanked us for it. That pissed me off. And mass produced thank yous annoy me too.

                            Christine...I also love reading Miss Manners. She cracks me up.

                            Wow...that's a very generous gift! I couldn't imagine not thanking someone for any gift much less $500....

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by BonBon View Post


                              We sent a $500 (!!!!!) check to DH's cousin for their wedding. They cashed it before the wedding (we couldn't go) but never thanked us for it. That pissed me off. And mass produced thank yous annoy me too.

                              Christine...I also love reading Miss Manners. She cracks me up.
                              THAT's just wrong. They cannot not claim they did not know who it came from...I'm sure your checks have your names and address.
                              Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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