Need to vent - resident keeps calling in sick

[Chrisada]

I hope all goes smoothly for you guys chrisada ... and know we always have your back.

Well you all did get me through medical school and I expect the same for residency!

[medpedspouse]

Regarding mothers who choose demanding career paths WHILE being mothers: Such a choice can only hurt a child. Women who do that are definitely making a choice - and, in the end, that choice is going to impact their children's lives. I got to see from my own personal experience what my mother was like as a SAHM vs. what she had to do to be a working mother. And, the children she had while being a working mother DID have negatively affected childhoods. Now, those siblings of mine don't realize this - because a working mother is what they knew so how could they compare? But, as the daughter who saw it (and experienced it) both ways - I can compare. And, that experience drove home to me: raise my children or make money. (And, those of you who know me know that I give a flying flip if that offends anyone).

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Just my 2 cents - don't even know if it is even worth that much.

My mother did both too. Worked while I was growing up and was a SAHM when my sister was born. As a daughter that experienced it both ways, I think my mom was a better mother AND person when she worked...my mom agrees. Given my sister's issues (then and now as an adult) I think that my mom staying at home negatively affected her childhood...and has now impacted her adulthood.

I think whether you stay at home or not depends on many issues. One or the other does not necessarily create a better environment for the child.

[medpedspouse]

Um yeah, if you read all of my posts then you will see I think the father should provide and also be a part of their children's life. That's what I meant my "old school." Sorry if that wasn't clear to you.

Your comment was perfectly clear. Let me clarify mine. To me "Old School" means that both parents are equally part of their children's lives. If you mean "to provide" to be financial....a trust fund can do that. When I say old school I want my spouse to be there just as I am (as a female) for my child.

[Meenah]

Wow, this thread has taken a turn. Back on topic, should the resident be required to payback the coverage?

[Meenah]

We can start a thread of stay at home vs work outside the home in the debate section!!

Wow, this thread has taken a turn. Back on topic, should the resident be required to payback the coverage?

I say yes... definitely.

[Sheherezade]

We are standing at the brink of one of the all time flame threads, aren't we? If this continues we'll split the thread and move it to debates. Keep it clean, folks.

And.....as long as I'm here.... I'd like to point out that "Old School" also meant 9-5 work hours and sometimes (if you were a factory worker) 7-3 with a break for lunch at home. That's how all those Little League coaches could show up after school for practice. We are all working in a world with far less time allocated to family and far more to the workplace and commute. (Just for whiny reference, my DH's typical day is 6:30 AM to 7 PM as an attending -- and on a bad day he leaves at 6 or gets home at 9. )

[PrincessFiona]

Re: Need to vent - resident keeps calling in sick

=)

Yes. She should be required to pay it back.

Off to go sit in the time out chair!

Kris




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[Meenah]

Off to go sit in the time out chair!

[medpedspouse]

And.....as long as I'm here.... I'd like to point out that "Old School" also meant 9-5 work hours and sometimes (if you were a factory worker) 7-3 with a break for lunch at home. That's how all those Little League coaches could show up after school for practice. We are all working in a world with far less time allocated to family and far more to the workplace and commute. (Just for whiny reference, my DH's typical day is 6:30 AM to 7 PM as an attending -- and on a bad day he leaves at 6 or gets home at 9. )

I only pointed out the old school because I see it as a time before the 9-5 or 7-3...or what ever "leave the home - working time". People used to meet their work and home life responsibilities equally....FWIW I see the Amish community as old school.

Regarding the original post. I agree that said resident should pay back time. I also think her husband should take on some of the sick child responsibilities like taking the time off...instead of the spouse still in training...BUT we do not have control of their lives.

[GrayMatterWife]

From many different contexts (not just here), over the years I have learned to avoid this debate if at all possible. No matter what you say, you'll hurt someone's feelings because someone will feel judged harshly about one of the most personal choices in their life.

Re: the original question...sounds like this female MD needs to be given a talk. A serious talk. About getting her personal life under control so that she can be a teamplayer. Or suffer the consequences, including being forced to take lots of unappealing call or put back a year of residency. You want a career, you gotta pull the same weight as all the other guys and gals. Kids or no kids.

[Flynn]

Re: the original question...sounds like this female MD needs to be given a talk. A serious talk. About getting her personal life under control so that she can be a teamplayer. Or suffer the consequences, including being forced to take lots of unappealing call or put back a year of residency. You want a career, you gotta pull the same weight as all the other guys and gals. Kids or no kids.

Yes yes yes to the above. YES!



Maybe someone can create a multiple choice question in the debate section about working outside the home for women or what you will teach your daughters? We can vote, see the numbers and comment if we want -- or not. I'd do it but I'm techy challenged for anything on this site other than replying.

Wow, this is a really good discussion.

[Phoebe]

Disclaimer: I haven't read all the responses and I am late in chiming in on the latest.

In DH's peds residency which ended in 2000, they were required to do a certain number of call per month in the ICUs depending on which year you were. Usually you had to make it up if you missed. When DH hurt his back and was on bedrest for several weeks he had to work over holidays to make up his time off. I think circumstances happen, but things should be equal across the board for men and women. It didn't work that way in DH's residency, of course.

I have posted about this before, in DH's fellowship, a female fellow had a baby and requested to do all her call in one week so she could have a family member fly out to stay her with child. Her husband was a neurosurgery chief resident and was never expected to stay with the baby. She did pull her weight and actually made up her maternity leave call during her pregnancy which she probably didn't need to do. She worked hard.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I will teach my daughers that they can't have it all. That if they become a Dr, which I'm pretty sure they won't want growing up kids of a doctor, but if they choose that path, they should think long and hard about having kids while in training. After training, I think in some specialties you can certainly make it work. Even then, I would tell them that in a demanding field like medicine, it may be unreasonable for them to be the *point parent*-- the one who is called when the kids get sick, the one who helps with the day to day stuff...

But don't you have to tell your sons the same thing. I COMPLETELY agree you can't have it all. I think many many people agree with that. The part that irks me is why WOMEN can't have it all and MEN can. I'm going to step up and do it because my DH won't but WHY? I went to the same level of schools that he did, did better on all the tests, and yet I'm the one who has to sacrifice. I'm in my mid-20s and came from a generation of women who was told "you can be anything you want to be" until I turned 22 and started working and now I hear "you can't have it all". Just frustrating. Most days I don't rage against this reality but this post has brought it out in me.

Full disclosure: I haven't read the entire thread. I'm trying but I'm getting behind.