Anyone else hate weddings?

[ballibeg]

After the last wedding I attended I swore never again. I'm not anti marriage but very much against the materialism of weddings. I don't enjoy spending a day with people I don't know. So when the invite hit the mat I told the OH I wouldn't be going.

Well you'd think I'd had an affair or something with the reaction.

I'm not alone am I?

Dave

[diggitydot]

Nope, not alone. We pretty much hate all the silliness of the industry in this house. I don't get about 99.999% of the crap. We go to them when our friends invite us, but only because we want to support our friends.

[corn poffi]

I don't like forced religious ceremonies, as they feel so fake. (I feel different about those if the couple is actually religious, but I have been to so many stuffy church weddings when you know that the couple doesn't actually believe what the <<insert religious figure here>> has to say).

[spaz]

Yes, I think the expense has gotten completely out of hand. Friends of ours have to go to Disney World because that is where their son and new daughter-in-law are getting married. Ridiculous. ( Honestly, I would say no.. my boys know better than to ever pick a girl that would want something like that.. Looking at how someone spends money is a big discussion that should be had. I would much rather give them money as a down payment on a house. Both of my boys are frugal as well. If only people put the amount of time and prep into the actual marriage. I had punch and cake served by our sisters. They can do that as well.

[Chrisada]

Yes!! I tell all of my friends to elope. The money spent on one day is insane.


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[WolfpackWife]

Yes, I think the expense has gotten completely out of hand. Friends of ours have to go to Disney World because that is where their son and new daughter-in-law are getting married. Ridiculous. ( Honestly, I would say no.. my boys know better than to ever pick a girl that would want something like that.. Looking at how someone spends money is a big discussion that should be had. I would much rather give them money as a down payment on a house. Both of my boys are frugal as well. If only people put the amount of time and prep into the actual marriage. I had punch and cake served by our sisters. They can do that as well.

I'm just curious- what if your boys chose a woman whose parents offered to pay for a larger or costly wedding, as traditionally the brides family pays (not always the case, I realize. This is hypothetical). You wouldn't approve of your sons choice in partner?


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[diggitydot]

Anyone else hate weddings?

I'm not counting other people's money. I don't care how they spend it. Just STFU about all the planning and money flying out the door for it, already. When someone chooses to plan something ridiculous and out of their price range, they forfeit the ability bitch about it.

We have two weddings to attend this summer. The first one is for a very close, longtime friend. I'm looking forward to seeing her and a lot of other very good friends who'll be there. She and her fiancé have planned a pretty formal Catholic ceremony (they're both very devout Catholics) and large reception that is well within their price range. No one is bitching about anything. Yes, it's work, but they're doing what they like and not doing things simply because "that's how it's done".

Wedding #2 is far less formal and for people we are friendly with, but definitely not super close. They're constantly bitching about the costs and going WAY outside their ability to pay, but are still doing a bunch of things that they can't afford because "that's what's done". They cashed out the bride's retirement funds to pay for part of it and are still short on money. They are pissed at several family members who have declined to acquiesce to their demands to help pay for the shindig. It's a hot mess that I'm not looking forward to attending.

The first wedding, while likely costing more, doesn't bother me (outside of the up-down-up-down Catholic aerobics and cryptic baseball signs on the face). I have several issues with the second wedding, but I'm just glad it isn't a mess I'm involved in.

I don't really care how people spend their own money. I just want them to STFU and remember that the goal at the end of the day is that everyone signs on the right lines. Outside of that, it's all small stuff.

[spaz]

Honestly, I don't see that happening. My sons come home all the time complaining about the other kids having to have this kind of shoe or certain brand or something. They agree that our Walmart jeans and Academy plain old tennis shoes are just fine. So if a girl was really into showy, expensive weddings I would think that she would be into showy expensive clothes, purses, etc in "real" life. That said, I won't have a choice with who they pick. I do have a choice of what I pay for. So if somehow they managed to brainwash my son into marrying them I would just have to shut up about it. But I would pay for GOOD premarital counseling that included financial counseling that would be required to pay my part.

I'm just curious- what if your boys chose a woman whose parents offered to pay for a larger or costly wedding, as traditionally the brides family pays (not always the case, I realize. This is hypothetical). You wouldn't approve of your sons choice in partner?


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[spaz]

So far my oldest is a cheapskate and my middle one doesn't spend much either. I'm not really worried about them. They ( 19 and 17) have good heads on their shoulders and if the ever date much less get married, I'm sure I will like whom they pick.

It is my daughter that so far has no financial sense. No, I won't pay for it. But since she wants to be a missionary when she grows up I don't think lavish weddings are in her future.

Plus several of you mentioned the bride's family. My family had nothing to do with it. My husband and I planned the whole thing. He even helped me pick out flowers and bridesmaid dresses.

[MrsC]

They're constantly bitching about the costs and going WAY outside their ability to pay, but are still doing a bunch of things that they can't afford because "that's what's done". They cashed out the bride's retirement funds to pay for part of it and are still short on money. They are pissed at several family members who have declined to acquiesce to their demands to help pay for the shindig.

Wow! That is crazy! And to complain about it!
I've been to a couple of weddings that made me so uncomfortable because I knew neither the couple or their parents could afford it.

I like religious ceremonies and I like weddings where you know the day means more to them than all the material things. It depends on the couple I think.



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[diggitydot]

We've already told all three of our stooges that we'd be happy to help with some funds if they want to elope for a destination wedding.

[spaz]

We've already told all three of our stooges that we'd be happy to help with some funds if they want to elope for a destination wedding.

I like idea!

[SoonerTexan]

Had a huge wedding with a ton of friends and family, full Catholic mass, and dinner/dancing reception that went til midnight. I did budget like crazy and did a lot of DIY but it was still expensive. Our parents paid (and no we didn't ask them to). Granted we both got full scholarships and they contributed in other ways to siblings.

Loved every second of it and would do it again. I don't believe in going into debt over it or having a huge wedding being a requirement, but hell it IS A CELEBRATION so if someone wants to pull out all the stops, let them and enjoy it if you are invited.

And yep, I'd do it for my kids too.

[WolfpackWife]

Had a huge wedding with a ton of friends and family, full Catholic mass, and dinner/dancing reception that went til midnight. I did budget like crazy and did a lot of DIY but it was still expensive. Our parents paid (and no we didn't ask them to). Granted we both got full scholarships and they contributed in other ways to siblings.

Loved every second of it and would do it again. I don't believe in going into debt over it or having a huge wedding being a requirement, but hell it IS A CELEBRATION so if someone wants to pull out all the stops, let them and enjoy it if you are invited.

And yep, I'd do it for my kids too.

Couldn't agree more. My parents had a much less lavish/large wedding than they gave me and DH, but they wanted to and could afford to do it. They gave us the option of taking the $$ or having a large wedding. We chose large wedding because I have a large family and it was something that had always been important to me and something I'd always dreamed of. Set a tight budget and stuck to it - even if it meant swallowing our shock at how much certain budget items ended up costing for ~170 people (it costs an arm and a leg to feed that many people - but it was within the budget!! I got a less expensive dress so people could eat and drink!). I don't think I'd do more/less for my kids because I had or didn't have x, y, or z.

[SoonerTexan]

Btw I also love weddings. I'm really excited for my siblings weddings.

That being said, I never want to plan another one