Husband Looking to Start Med School Wife Needs Help!

Veggiefriend,

Not meaning to pick, but did you read most of the thread? I ask because the last page looks like an "is medicine worth it?" thread, but the genesis of it was about particulars of the original poster. A lot of the advice given was geared toward what the road for this family might look like given their particulars.

[lilponygirl]

Wow. Don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel about us.

I'm going to take the moral highground here and assume that this didn't come off as you intended but were somehow impeded by the limitations of conversing in cyberspace and/or the fact that you are fairly early on in the medical process. I'm sure that you meant to provide some optimism because in YOUR experience, medicine hasn't been that bad of a choice.

Kelly, thanks for realizing that. I am truly sorry to anyone that I offended by my statement. I guess I need to chose my words more carefully.

I know that all of you are speaking the truth in your situations. And I know that residency will not be easy. I guess I was trying to tell Lace that it isn't ALWAYS horrible. I decided to share my experience, but I guess it doesn't have much relativity here since 1. dh is still in med school, 2. We don't have children, and 3. dh loaded up 3rd year with mandatory clinicals making 4th a whole lot easier.

In response to someone's earlier question, I sought out this site last Summer when dh was first starting 3rd year. For me, that was the hardest time because it was such an abrupt transition. I felt lost, confused, frustrated and much more. I knew there just HAD to be other people out there going through what I was. That's when I found you guys. I may not NEED the support all the time, but I keep coming back for the social aspect and comfort of knowing that I'm not alone. It took me a long time to finally speak up and voice my opinion. I'm not sorry I did but, as Kelly implied, it's hard to get inflection into cyberspace.

I think I better go before I get myself into any more trouble. :!

Yes, Kevin, I did read the whole thread.

My advice for the OP is that I did a post-bacc and it wasn't too bad, but even though you may be a non-trad with excellent post-bacc grades, if your MCAT isn't good you may not get in (as was my case), so it's important to know that going in, that you may spend a lot of time and money on a post-bacc, taking out student loans and everything, but that it may not work out. Just a FYI going into it.

My other advice is that while the med path is hard and long and sucks a lot, for us, it was definitely worth it, but sometimes it's hard to make that statement until the very end, when you're looking back. Just choose the specialty very carefully and think a lot about lifestyle and family life when making that decision.

[PrincessFiona]

I think I better go before I get myself into any more trouble. :!

Oh Susan...you know we LOVE trouble makers.


Trouble IS my middle name! :>

kris

[Flynn]

I love this thread...keep it coming!!!!!


Kevin your arguments are so clear and without venom that you scare me a little (in a very good way!).

[Vishenka69]

Kevin your arguments are so clear and without venom that you scare me a little (in a very good way!).

Me too.

Kevin, again wow!

I can not believe the info that is continually pouring in, I'm amazed. I just send big hugs to everyone.

Just some more background info but when my H told me he was going to pursue medicine I could hardly breathe. I walked out of our house down the street to an animal farm that we take our girls to and cried. I left in slippers and my normal 10 minute walk cut short to about 5 minutes. As I sat there crying I couldn't figure out how this man that I have known for 11 years and father of 5 years could change in what felt like an instant. This is a man that when our first girl was born he changed the diapers he tube fed her and took care of her after a very difficult delivery he has been there for everything and I haven't heard any complaints. We did discuss the thought of medicine about 5 months prior to this but he determined although he did have the desire to pursue medicine he couldn't give up his time with his girls. Anyway, after getting together and realizing I have to be supportive, as much as possible I told him when his heart is at peace with the decision than we would do it. He said we love eachother, other people do it why can't we. That is where you all come in, I found you one night when I was praying for some kind of solice in this and here you are.

I didn't know where to start with questions and our home seemed so tense so I asked you and then when I did and the thread continued he began to see some of my fears and concerns without them coming from me. It brought such insight to him and I feel like our door of communication is at a whole new level. I'm hoping for a decision soon but whatever his choice I do feel like a weight has been lifted knowing that I have such a great place to meet and sometimes freak.

If he should decide med are there any radiologist spouses out there, that is path he is interested in.

THANKS

[SuzySunshine]

Lace, I'm not sure if we have any Rad spouses - but my DH's uncle is one so I can speak to it a little bit, we're very close to them since they know what we're going through.

[Stella]

Kevin, again wow!

Yeah, he's alright. We keep him around.

Lace, good luck to your entire family no matter what you decide. I have zero advice, just compassion. You have a big decision on your hands, no doubt about it.

[Vishenka69]

Lace, although DH is not a radiologist, two of our very good friends are. Radiology is extremely competitive and will require even great amount of studying and commitment than some of the non-ROADE specialties. The post-training lifestyle is very good though.

[MissCrabette]

Good luck with your decision. Sorry I couldn't contribute anything to this thread but we're only at the beginning of this journey. Please keep us posted.

Lace,

I would suggest your husband not go into medicine unless he would be content being a general internist, pediatrician, or family practice doctor.

I say this because we know ALOT of very disappointed individuals who thought they would match into radiology, ortho, cardiology, etc and did not. We also know people that didn't match into ob/gyn or surgery and those have been less competitive in recent years. So, just be sure he would still be happy if he didn't match into a more competitive specialty.

Also, many medical specialties are somewhat "boom and bust" with the caveat that the bust is still a decent income, just not one that all doctors are happy with. For example, with anesthesia, my understanding is that 10 years ago the pay was not particularly good and jobs were hard to find; now the pendulum has swung and it will undoubtedly swing again across the course of doctors' career. Same for radiology: these salaries cannot continue, the government is already cutting into imaging reimbursement and, although this is a debatable point, I personally think we will see greater outsourcing of at least certain types of scans in the coming years. Ditto for virtually every currently well compensated field in medicine. So, my point is he should do what he loves and it really is ideal if he would be happy in a wide range of medical jobs.

Perhaps the place to start is for your husband to sign up for a 5-8 hours per week of volunteer work/job shadowing at a hospital for a year and see how he likes it. Also, does he have any science coursework under his belt? As other posters have noted, the majority of applicants don't get into medical school and much of admissions is driven by your home state (state school is generally easiest option and much easier to get into state school in wyoming for example than new york). He may want to see if he can talk to his old university's pre-med advisor or the admissions department at an area medical school or osteopathic school (generally easier to get into; harder to match in super-competitive residencies from though) and see if this is even realistic before you get yourself too upset over it.

More info for Lace can be found under the "General Residency" forum on the sdn page (student doctor network). There is a thread in the General Residency forum that asks doctors "knowing what you know now, would you have chosen to study medicine?" (that's not verbatim, but an approximate title). I have not read the entire thread, as it is now 32 pages long, but your husband may gain some insight from doctor's opinions, not just the opinions of the spouse.

Grasshopper,
Thank You, we found the thread and we are going to read now!