Brain Fart

[Phoebe]

The last part of this week has been great. Dh has been on Q3 call, but oh well. Thursday night the kids and I made chocolate chip cookies and pizza and danced in the kitchen to Dora and my new Norah Jones CD. Friday, DH was post-call, but somehow he had enough energy to watch the two older girls why I went to Target. It was nice not shopping with three kids. Friday night, DH and I hung out and drank some beer and watched TV together. We haven't done that in a while.

This morning we did some handywork around the house that included hanging several pictures and some shelves. It feels so good to have that done finally. We actually accomplished it without mishaps with the three kids watching. That rarely happens. I was also able to go for a run this morning. It was great eventhough it was only 10 degrees.

This afternoon we went shopping at the mall and it went ok. Nobody got mad or cried. DH even enjoyed himself (he secretly likes to shop, just not with three kids in tow). We tried unsuccessfully to get a babysitter for tonight so we could have dinner out. Oh well. It doesn't matter because the afternoon was fun. DH and DD#2 are taking a nap on the couch and DD#3 is already in bed for the night. That is the other great news.

Tyler is essentially sleeping through the night, in her crib! She has also been napping as well. It makes such a difference in my stress level when I am able to get some things done. Also, I am getting better sleep at night. We even have another whole day tomorrow to enjoy together and get stuff done. We are going to work on our taxes, take some stuff from the garage to good will and Avery has a playdate. Maybe we can all take a nap. Since it is forecasted to actually be in the 20s tomorrow, I may try to take another run. I need to get in the habit of running because I signed up for a half marathon at the beginning of May.

I love having DH around and spending time as a family.

[Phoebe]

My five year old told me last night that she wished she had two moms. When I asked her why, she replied if there were two of me, when she and Ella wanted me at the same time, they could both have me. I felt terrible! Am I not spending enough time with my kids? The only time I am away from them is when they are at school or in bed. I certainly don't have any time to myself. Especially with the snow days, we haven't gone anywhere.

Is a mother's guilt ever gone?

[Phoebe]

DH just informed me that they are going to be taking more call. They had moonlighters at this outlying hospital and now the hospital refuses to pay them. So the group will now be covering 24 hr in-house call on weekends with no compensation!

That makes me happy.

[Phoebe]

I am in heaven right now. My baby is sleeping and my other two are playing so nicely together. I have had like 45 minutes to myself to check out this website, and update my planner. I am a little late in getting a 2007 calendar this year. DH is at work and on-call from home tonight. How lovely he forgot his pager this morning. I was looking at his schedule for the next couple months as I was filling out my calendar. We are basically not going to see him in April, plus whatever extra call he is going to have to take on the weekends.

The job situation is looking a little bleak right now. He was interested in three jobs. Two aren't really panning out as the hospitals are still waivering about hiring. All these smaller hospitals are trying to start up smaller NICU services and upgrade to Level III where they can care for higher risk infants, but it doesn't always fly. The one job that I was really excited about left a bad taste with DH. Plus the group is more apt to hire fellows right out training because they are cheaper and can be "molded". That is two strikes against DH.

I was trying to show my kids how to jump on the sled and ride it down our sloped driveway yesterday. I did a belly flop instead and ended up with a grapefruit-sized bruise on my thigh. Ow! We all got a good laugh out of it.

I am saying a whole lot of nothing! I am enjoying the quiet for a change and waiting for DD#3 to wake up so we can hit the grocery store.

[Phoebe]

This is what happens when I leave DH with the kids......



Peace



I think I am freaking crazy. Lately, I have been wanting to have another baby. I have even had dreams about it. There are a whole host of reasons not to add to our family: AMA, DH's job stress and having three is nuts at times. The first four months of no sleep. Tyler is so good now that we have gotten the sleep thing down and I will miss not having a newborn ever again. I think it is so awesome to see what we bring into this world and I love having a baby around to cuddle with. DH said he would pay for Tyler's college is she cuddles with me until she is 10. DH said, "you know it will be a girl too.

I hope this feeling passes because I would love to have another child and this one isn't 6 months old yet. It isn't about trying for a boy.

Opps baby crying... back to reality.

[Phoebe]

We are hitting milestones lately. I registered DD#1 for kindergarten today. I cheated and registered her for the all-day lottery and can waive the spot if I chose and take the alternate-day like I planned. So I didn't have to make a decision. I have been stressing myself out talking to a host of people and changing my mind every day. Other milestones... Tyler is almost 6 months and sitting up, but has never rolled over. I find that funny. Ella is in the midst of the trying threes. I am repeating my mantra, "I can't help you when you are whining." every five minutes. It is very frustrating and I am mentally exhausted from the drama. DH just got home at 9pm so this day was so long for me.

Things seem "crazy busy" (sorry veggie) lately. We have been outside so much lately, that I am not getting anything done inside. I am enjoying the weather with my kids, but I am starting to get overwhelmed by always being two steps behind. Tomorrow morning I am babysitting for our neighbor so it is another day that I am not making it to the gym. I am running a race in two months and I need to kick start the training.

DH just informed me that he is taking a week-long board review in August on some island and I am going to be home with three kids because DD will be in kindergarten already. Loving it!

On a good note, with all the fuss over kindergarten, which I know I won't be doing with DD#2 and DD#3, I got back in touch with a college roommate (a teacher). I realized how much I miss old friends. It is hard to see them since everyone is scattered, but it is great to catch up. I am going to make more of a habit of it.

DH is going to have some changes coming up in his job. They are trying to hire some more neos which hopefully will alleviate the schedule. They are also trying to come up with a better scenario for coverage instead of this wacked process they have now. Also a peds residency is starting this July. Should be interesting...... or not.

[Phoebe]

My blog title represents my daily existence quite well. Could I be the youngest Alzheimer's patient ever? I need to start doing some serious crossword puzzles. My 5 year old just kicked my butt in the Memory game. I didn't let her find twice as many matches as me on purpose.

Today I forgot to place my scrapbook order and go to a friend's candle party (maybe those were unconsious ways to save money). Last night I forgot to take DD to gymnastics and this morning I completely misplaced my locker key at the gym and forgot to pay the house cleaner.

On Friday, we have a playdate and I have shop for the food to make a dish-to-pass, buy a going away present, a kid's birthday present and two baby shower gifts for three different parties plus a makeup class I spaced on last night all this weekend. I don't even want to go to this stuff, but my friend is moving and her daughter is having the birthday party and the double babyshower is partly for our babysitter and some other NNP that I don't like. Hi... can you babysit so I can go out and buy a gift for you?

I don't even have anything really stressful going on like Match Day or moving for a new job. I just can't keep my head on straight. My license plate should read MYOFFIS. I hold conference calls (talk on cell phone, terrible, I know). I eat at my desk (steering wheel), have a filing system (trash bag), and hold meetings (conversations with kids). I had a neighbor kid in the car the other day and he asked why it was so messy in there. Because I live in my car!

This morning DH gets up 10 minutes before he needs to leave for work and expects to shower and be able to walk out the door. He complains about not enough time to do his Thursday jobs (garbage and feed the cats). Even if he got up 10 minutes earlier he could do this easy tasks. I, on the other hand, have 4 people to take care of one of whom is sick and cranky. I would love to be able to get up shower and leave in 10 minutes by myself, just once. Dh did his jobs begrudgingly, but he doesn't it have that bad! He must have felt bad because I emailed my Costco list so he could go after work. What a guy!

I need a nap!

[Phoebe]

We are getting slammed. We were pretty healthy all winter and it hit hard the last three weeks. Ella had a sinus infection, Tyler-RSV which is still lingering, DH had food poisoning and now has Tyler's virus with 103 fever. Earlier in the week, Avery had the stomach flu and I have it today. It sucks when both parents are sick and you have no one around to help.

I want to lay down!

[Phoebe]

We are so happy that spring is here. DH has had vacation and a nice schedule lately. We have been having a lot of fun with the kids. This is how I envisioned life post-training. When I have times like these it can carry me through the hectic work weeks.

Tyler is 6 months old already and it makes me sad. I had a mini meltdown the other day mourning the newborn stage and never having another child. I think it is a phase as the feeling comes and goes. Dh said he would be on board for another baby as long as we started trying soon after Tyler turns one year old. Just having the possibility makes me feel better.

Next week is spring break so I hope to have playdates and good weather. My mom is coming for Easter weekend when DH is post-call so I am happy to have someone to hang out with.

We got our patio furniture out this week and we have enjoyed hanging out in the backyard.



The view of behind our backyard


The kids have had fun with role-reversal. They enjoy wearing dad's glasses and pretending to be the parent and telling us, NO! We get to demonstrate how silly they act when they whine and cry.


One of my first friends and neighbors in Indiana moved out of their house today in route to CA. I am bummed. She was my scrapbook buddy, a good parental resource and all-around good person. We have 4 houses for sale on our street. This area is very transient.

I had a conversation today with one of my best friends. I talk to her just about everyday either with a quick convo or through voicemails. She is recently divorced with a teenage daughter so we are a shoulder for each other. However, I think she has finally realized what I have been saying all these years. She finally gets that the "medical lifestyle" or being married to a dawkter isn't all it is cracked up to be. It has taken her a while because her ex in-laws, whom she still works for, are eye doctors so the family has always had money and free time. One down and many more to go. :banghead:

[Phoebe]

Where is spring? Today I had the pleasure of attending dd#1's first soccer game in 37 degree sleet. OMG was it cold. At least, I had an umbrella. DH was/is working and luckily I was able to get a babysitter so the other two girls didn't have to fare in the mess.

Tyler at 6 mos:



Flasher: (I didn't buy this print)



Group shots

[Phoebe]

I have made a decision. Please don't slap me when you read this. Maybe I need my head examined. Truth be told. I want to be more Stepford-like. Should I duck and run now?

What I mean by being more Stepford, is that I want to enjoy an occassional pedicure or manicure. I would love a massage or a rare lunch date with a friend. Heck, if I could, I would take golf lessons, learn to knit and take an adult gymnastics class offered by my kid's gymnastics facility. Most of my socialization is with my kids or the moms of my kid's friends. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my kids. I enjoy any form of adult conversation. I would like some me-time that isn't interrupted by requests for drinks and snacks, screaming or tattle-taling. I want to find myself again. The thread about obligations to yourself and activities you would pursue if time and money weren't an object have resinated with me.

A good outing for me is hitting Target and that is so fun with three kiddos in tow. I do belong to a gym. My New Year's goal was to go 4 times a week. I haven't made it over three per week. Even going there is a chore with the kids because they don't want to be there.

DH doesn't have any me-time either. He talks about wanting to play the piano and taking ballroom dancing lessons. With his sucky work schedule, he can't sign up for anything because the hours change everyweek.

We have adjusted to the number of hours and the job stress. I haven't adjusted to the lack of balance I thought we would achieve after the training years. Even planning the activities and lining up sitters are a chore. I have a hard enough time managing my household. Just for a day, I would like to be more stepford.

[Phoebe]

I have a dilemma. I am supposed to run this half marathon on May 5th. My training isn't going well for various reasons. The increased distance and frequency of the high impact has taken a toll on my feet (bunions). I have seen a doctor, but the treatments can't take place until after my race.

To top it off, we just found out that DH's nephew is having his 2nd birthday party on the same day in Chicago. DH wants to ditch my race and take the girls minus DD#3 to the party leaving me to deal with child care for DD#3 and transportation for myself on race day. This has taken the wind out of my sails.

I am a little miffed at DH because he has barely spoken to his brother until recently after a falling out with psycho SIL 15 months ago. The only conversations were about DH apologizing to SIL because she has been making DH's brother's life miserable over it and medical questions about their son. DH has been very hurt by this.

My choices are to fend for myself on race day or skip the race, save my feet and attend the party with DH and his rude family. It is against my nature to back out of something that I set my mind to. What should I do?

[Phoebe]

I have narrowed my choice down to definitely not attending the party. The BIL and SIL that I really like won't be at the party. DH will take the older two girls to the party and I am staying home. I have yet to decide if I will run or not. My feet hurt! My doc says if things stay the same in 6 months I will have to have surgery.

Jennifer

[Phoebe]

I am feeling very run down lately and a couple steps behind. I am also having a hard time keeping up with the boards. I can pop in often and take a quick run through, but don't have enough time to post like I would like to. So eventhough I may not respond I do care!

I finally made arrangements for kindergarten and we stuck with alternate day meaning that Avery will attend T/Th 8-2:30 and 12-2:30 on Fridays. She is ticked off because all of her friends are doing all day. DH and I wanted her to be a kid as long as possible. I agonized over whether to go with the majority or not. I am happy with our decision and to have it out of the way.

The lingering decision is about the Mini-Marathon. I am 90% sure I am not running and 100% disappointed. I think I will most miss the atmosphere. It is such a fun experience. I think when I figure what is going on with my feet, I will run in some other races. I sort of feel like I wimp for backing out because when I was a gymnast we were expected to train through pain. Running now isn't unbearable, it is not fun. A big reason I signed up to do this race is to try and lose the baby weight. I am not doing that either. I am letting myself down.

[Phoebe]

Last week was a busy one. Last weekend, DH took our older two girls to Chicago to attend their cousin's birthday party. I stayed back in IN with the baby and enjoyed myself. Friday a couple girlfriends came over and we hung out, played games and chatted. DH and the girls had a great time, minus a couple tense moments with the kids not listening. Hopefully this will be the beginning of DH realizing how well he can handle the kids.

Last week started off with cortisone shots for the neuromas (pinched nerves) in my feet and now it feels like I am walking on marbles. Thursday I attended a Mother's tea for Avery's preschool. It was very cute and of course I forgot my camera. The kids filled out a sheet and drew a picture of their moms. Mine said I am as pretty as gold and diamonds, weigh 500lbs and am 19 years old and she wouldn't trade me even for a bracelet. I got a kick out of that.

We are continuing with some home improvement projects with our tax return. We are changing out our brass hardware and fixtures to satin nickel. We replaced the upside down plastic bowl chandelier in our eat-in area with this:



We also had our family room painted with the Ralph Lauren Suede after diliberating for a few months. It turned out really nice.



Friday morning I had a babysitter, which was DH's idea, so I could run some errands. It was nice to do things without three kids in tow. I got a pedicure, bought some hanging plants and hit SuperTarget.

Friday afternoon my in-laws came for the weekend and I made it until Saturday afternoon without drinking. My mom arrived on Saturday afternoon and helped things out a lot. She and I were laughing at my MIL because she said she was going to wear tennis shoes to the baptism and church. I only got a few rude comments from MIL such as my kids having so many bruises and scrapes on their legs that a hospital would think I was abusing them. Of course, Tyler is spoiled because when I walk in a room she wants me over my in-laws. She brought gifts for my daughters and gave them money, but didn't wish me Happy Mother's Day or get me a card.

The baptism was really nice and we went out for a nice meal afterwards. Tyler was so good and wowed everyone with her big grin. The weather was beautiful and I enjoyed a nap with my girls this afternoon and a walk this evening. DH pretty much dropped the ball on Mother's Day. He didn't even say anything about it until 11 am, didn't get me a card from him or the girls and last week he informed me he was taking call after our family left because the locum tenems guy was injured. The locums guys get $98/hr, but DH gets a pat on the back. I ordered my own gift last week because he missed the deadline and for once I wanted something.



The girls only have two weeks left of school and Avery graduates from preschool. It makes me a little sad how fast they are growing up.
Lounging



Avery attempting to feed Tyler

Soccer girl not complete without Webkinz