A day in the life of...

[samssugarmomma]

January 3, 2007

So, I feel like a total geezer for admitting this - but a few weeks ago I bought a 3 DVD set of Walk Away the Pounds. I got the 1 mile, 2 mile, and 3 mile. I'm so embarrassed to admit that a few years ago, I ran a marathon and now, I'm sweating through the 1 mile "walk".

I'm trying so hard to get over this disappointment with myself. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and thinking - who is that? I think I'm close to moving from disappointment to acceptance. I think that I need to accept how I've changed physically so that I can change physically. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I've done the videos three times. I'm really working on not pushing too hard, too. Normally when I start off, I do the advanced moves right away and push too hard. Then get disappointed because I can't finish the tape or because I'm really sore the next day and can't do the tape again. I think that these are a good start to getting back into shape. I do feel challenged - but these aren't beyond the scope of what I can do right now.

[samssugarmomma]

Jaunary 16, 2007

We are doing the first financially irresponsible thing in our adult life. Normally, we save save save as much as we can and we spend the money on responsible things or continue saving it for an emergency. Thanks to all of that saving, we are taking our first vacation since our honeymoon 4 years ago! And we are paying cash! Over DH's vacation in February, we are going skiing at Seven Springs in Pennsylvania. I am so excited. We haven't gone anywhere that wasn't for something family related since our honeymoon. And even before then - we never went on trips that weren't family related (ie visiting our parents for a weekend or something).

DH still fits in his skiing clothes from our honeymoon. But mine...well...mine were bought when I was about 30 lbs thinner so I had to get new stuff. My jacket still fits but I had to get new pants and shirts. I found one pair of pants and a few shirts a few weeks ago. I'd like to get one more pair of ski pants before we go since we will be skiing every day for a week.

I can not wait to have 5 whole days with my hubby to myself. I do feel some guilt for leaving DD home...but we really, really need this. Only 4 weeks to go!

[samssugarmomma]

January 24, 2007

No time for a good post. (are any of them really good?) But I may have found something that will help me/us survive the next 5 years in tact. Its a really good drug.....just kidding.

I found some free round dancing lessons for us to take on Monday nights!!! We started round dancing last fall during 4th year and for some reason, even though Natalie was there with us in a backpack, it really helped us connect and focus on each other. I'm not sure why - but the lessons really helped us get into a good place.

We really need to get out more. I think that we've gone on 1 date since residency started 6 months agon- and that was to the residents halloween party. Big whoop!

Even with the million months of Q4 call left, DH should only miss 1 lesson a month I think. That's no big deal, right?

My parents are going to watch the little one a couple of times a month so we'll only have to pay a sitter once or twice a month. And the lessons are free! We are going to be doing Waltz and Foxtrot. We were taking waltz lessons last spring but we missed the last few classes because of the big move and end of school and whatnot. And I think we moved before the classes ended too.

I am really excited. I haven't been this excited about anything in a long time.

Kate

[samssugarmomma]

January 30, 2007

Yesterday was such a great day. DH was post call so he got home around 12 or so. My mom had made a leg of lamb for dinner on Sunday and I brought him a plate home for his lunch. Since DD and I weren’t home, DH did our Monday chores and then picked up the princess. And together, they made dinner. We had the Sesame Chicken & Noodles from this months Cooking Light. It was fantastic! :yum: Then my dad came over so that we could go to our dance lesson. The evening was the best part of the day.

I love dancing with my husband! We were able to get their in time for the two step lesson. We’ve already had two step, but I wanted to get a feel for how the instructors teach since we thought we were a little behind for the Waltz and Foxtrot classes. The lesson was fun and a good review. Afterwards, they did a phase III dance and we stumbled over some of the steps. Traveling Box? Lock? Fishtail? I remember those cues and the basic idea of the steps but not the details. I’ll have to look those up. The waltz lesson was pretty much a review as well. The foxtrot lesson was all new, but we’d already taken foxtrot as a ballroom class and the steps were pretty much the same. We had so much fun. Last night did more for our marriage than any counseling session could. We were actually talking about that on the way home - How great dancing together has been for us. Not sure why – it’s not like we’re discussing earth shattering topics out there on the dance floor.

I love that in round dancing, you stay with your partner instead of being forced to dance with everyone in the class. I love dancing with DH. I used to hate that in all of the other classes that we’ve taken. How are you supposed to learn how to follow (or lead) your partner if your partner is always changing? Or learn the steps? I’d always get stuck with people that couldn’t follow directions. :! I guess I’m lucky – DH is an awesome dancer. We both catch on pretty quick – so we’ve been told. A few people in our class approached us and told us about some square dancing lessons that are going to be taught tonight. I’d love to learn, but I think that being gone two nights each week for 3 hours a night isn’t an option right now.

[samssugarmomma]

I would love to be a fly on the wall at DD's school today. Today is her first music class. Can you imagine giving a bunch of 2 year olds an instrument and trying to get them to play it at the same time! The class sounds really fun - they get a cd to take home each week with the songs that they learned that day and every other month they get an instrument to take home. And the class is taught my DD's favorite teacher - Ms. L. Ms. L was one of the teachers in the first room she was in. DD moved from the one year old room to the two year old room a little early and she had a rough go of it. I think because her new teachers are different from what she is used to - they are excellent - but not as outgoing and silly as all of her other teachers have been.

------------

So, the guilt that I carry around from working is somewhat balanced by the fear that I'm not smart enough / know how to teach DD everything that she needs to know. I wonder - would she be able to count to 10 right now if she was home with me? Would she know her alphabet right now if I was the one with her all day? If I was home - would a majority of the time that I spend with her be quality time like it is now?

[samssugarmomma]

March 5, 2007

So, the past few weeks have left me asking - what the hell else can happen to me??? Here is what I have been through in the past nine months -
- miscarriage in August
- miscarriage in November
- one cold/virus after the other from Halloween until about 2 weeks ago
- in December had some clotting studies done and found out that I have 2 genes that are messed up, so the next time that I get pregnant, I have to give myself an anticoagulating shot every day and take a crap load of folic acid. The gene mutations may or may not have contributed to the miscarriages.
- in January, had my first colitis flare and found out that my colon had gone from ~5% inflamed to about 80% The flare may or maynot have contributed to the miscarriage in November since that is when my symptoms started.
- in Feb, 1 week before our first vacation in 5 years, started to get a rash. The rash turns out to be an allergic reaction to a virus, which caused a full body rash called Erythema multiforme. I never knew that a rash could burn and hurt! We still went on vacation, but we had to come home early because I was in so much pain. But, I got to go down the mountain twice!

I'm wondering, what the heck can happen next?

We are trying to keep a sense of humor about all of this, but..... damn!

:needabreak:

[samssugarmomma]

March 8, 2007

I have the sweetest 2 year old. It kills me that she's seen me so sick for the past few months, but she is so sweet and compassionate. (Almost) every day she wakes up and one of the first things that she says to me is "You feel better, mommy?". Yesterday when we got home, I was in so much pain from this darn rash that I started running my oatmeal bath right away. She held my hand to "help" me in the tub and then ran to the kitchen to get a bowl so that she could pour water down my back. Each time she was getting ready to pour the water, she shouted "ready mommy?!". Too cute! Then she held my hand to "help" me out.

Last night I asked if she was ready for her bath. Her response - "not today. maybe i take bath tomorrow".

This morning she broke a piece off of this plant stand that I have that looks like a giraffe. Her response - 'the giraffe is crying. i sorry'

[samssugarmomma]

April 2, 2007

One of DD's Easter pictures....

[samssugarmomma]

April 6, 2007

The options for childcare here suck! It took forever for me to find our current daycare and it is (almost) perfect! (*almost because no one could ever do everything exactly the way I would...) This is the only center that I would even consider sending my children to. And what did I learn on Monday? That they are closing. Our center is a national chain but this location is contracted with a local business. The center is mostly for the employees of the business but they do accept "outside" clients. The business is ending their contract with the chain and they are not going to re-open. Suck!!!

There is another center, run by the same chain, that is run by the director that was there when we first started that has openings for our kiddos, but it is 15 miles in the opposite direction of work one way. 15 miles on the highway. A highway that is full of semis and crazy drivers. I hate 75 and avoid it at all costs! During rushhour, this will probably add 2 hours to my day. Major suckage.

I've been searching all week for other centers near our house and work. And the options are freaking scary. One center is located on a very busy street, and they don't lock the door! Any crazy person off the street can come right on it. Another - the kids watch at least 2 hours of tv everyday! And they serve fruit loops, trix, and poptarts. Yuck! We don't even serve that stuff at home. (Not that I think that parents that do are bad parents...it's just if I am paying someone to take care of and feed my kid...they should be getting wholesome, nutritious food...not ....that! And not parked in front of a tv for 2 hours every morning! I could park her in front of the TV and work from home.)

We have a center at the hospital here that is awesome. But the waiting list is 3 years long. Um, thanks. By the time we get our spot, residency will be over.

I've crunched the numbers. DH's salary isn't enough to cover basic living expenses, so we'd have to dip into our savings for about 400 every month. We have enough savings to go about 26 months if nothing major happens. And this would not even be extravagent living - no cable (we don't have it now), no cell phones, no internet, no spending money. I can't cut out anymore. I'm scared to take the plunge into being a SAHP because, what if something happens? Is it fair to rack up a bunch of debt so that I can stay home? On the other hand, there is no way I'm going to a sub-par daycare just to save the commute time. Maybe I can adjust my hours. Then only the occasional patient visit could mess up my schedule.

Damn money.

[samssugarmomma]

April 20, 2007

We got to see the bean yesterday! We went for our 11 week appointment and they couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, so we got a quick ultrasound. Our 4th this pregnancy! We didn't actually hear the heartbeat during the scan, but we saw it jumping around like crazy! We are finally starting to relax a little and get a teeny, tiny bit excited. We might actually get to meet this one!

The weekend is supposed to be beautiful so we might go to the zoo tomorrow to see the new babies. DH is working tonight until 4am and then all day on Sunday. Stupid ER.

[samssugarmomma]

April 25, 2007

So, we've made a decision. I think. After the baby comes, I'll be a SAHM. I think. We are going to try to start living on just DHs paycheck (except for daycare - we'll use mine for just that and try to bank the rest of mine) and see how it goes.

I am
- excited to stay home with my babies
- terrified that we'll run out of money or have some terrible crisis and pile on an insurmountable amount of credit card debt (we don't have any now)
- sad that I'll be leaving such a great job - this really is an awesome gig for a "single" parent. I love my coworkers and my boss is so incredibly understanding. And the work is not stressful and is pretty easy for me.
- excited to stay home with my babies!!! and hopefully finally have time to get in better shape

Now if we could just decide on a fellowship. ED...Nicu....Ed...Nicu...who cares? They are both going to suck for us at home! Just pick one!

[samssugarmomma]

June 1, 2007

We had our "We survived another month of residency" lunch yesterday. DH and I went to a little diner in the "hip and trendy" part of town. It was nice.

We had a little scare over the weekend - a tiny bit of spotting! I almost had a heart attack when I saw it. But, we called the OB and in less than 2 hours, we had talked to her on the phone, went to the OB triage floor at the hospital, had an exam and ultrasound, and were home. Everything looks fine but I'm supposed to 'take it easy' until our next ultrasound at 20 weeks. Um, take it easy? I work full time and have a 2 year old. We'll see! Thankfully, DH is working on a semi-easy rotation this month so he should be home more. This month he has less calls (only 5!) but most of them are over the weekends. The good thing there is that my parents can help out then if I need it.

We started moving things around at our house so that we can start getting the nursery ready. Our house has 2 bedrooms on the 1st floor and 2 on the second floor. One of the rooms on the 1st floori is our office and we weren't using the other one. When we bought the house, we had planned to make that a nursery but when we lost that baby, we couldn't bring ourselves to do anything with it so it has been sitting virtually empty. We moved downstairs to the empty room and DD is going to move into our old room. The baby is going to get DDs old room since it is smaller. DD is very excited about moving rooms and asks every day if we are going to move her bed that day. I keep telling her that we have to paint it first but that answer doesn't seem to satisfy her. Ahh 2. We think it will take about a month to get the room ready and move DD. That means that the nursery will be empty and ready to paint in July. We find out the sex towards the end of June, so the timing is perfect!

[samssugarmomma]

June 8, 2007

Sometimes I think that my life is secretly being taped as a really long episode of Candid Camera. And sometimes, I think it should be because, someone should be getting some entertainment out of this. Today wasn't so much funny as it was :thud:

This morning Molly had an appointment to get her summer haircut. I spent like, 15 minutes explaining to Natalie that we were going to take Molly to get her haircut and that we had to leave her there because it takes a long time.

So, we get ready to go and I get Natalie to stand on the front porch so that I can get Molly. Of course, as soon as I pull out the leash, both Molly and Buddy start jumping like two Mexican jumping beans. I get the leash on Molly and while we are trying to get out of the door, Buddy opens the screen door (how can he do that????) and runs down the walk. This leads Natalie to start screaming "Get back here Buddy" over and over at the top of her lungs and then to start wailing like she just lost her right arm. Did I mention that it was only 7:30 in the morning??

I manage to get Molly outside and she is standing at the end of her leash and barking and dancing with excitement. I try to catch Buddy but of course he is to fast for my pregnant self so he is running up and down the sidewalk in front of our house, Natalie is screaming, and Molly is dancing and barking. I tell Natalie to wait on the porch and waddle Molly into the backseat of the car. Buddy, of course, wants to go for a ride too, so he jumps in. Now Natalie is screaming "Get out of there Buddy" over and over. Lovely. I manage to keep Molly in the car, get Buddy out of the car, and get him into the house.

Go back outside, grab Natalie's hand with one hand and her suitcase (she is spending the night at my parents so we can go to the Reds game tonight), my work bag, and our breakfast (bagels with cream cheese) with the other.

Get Natalie in the car and notice that she has smeared cream cheese from her bagel all over my shirt. Lovely.

Drive to the groomers and get both Molly and Natalie out of the car. Drop Molly off and strap Natalie back in. The entire conversation from the groomers to her school:

"I want Molly".
"I know sweetie, but Molly has to get her haircut. We're going to go and get her later".
"No. I want to go get Molly right now!"
"I know sweetie, but Molly can't come home right now. She needs to get a bath and her haircut so she won't be so hot".
"I want to get Molly right now." (cry)
"I know baby. We'll go get her soon."
"I want to get Molly right now." (cry, throw pieces of bagel)
Repeat for the entire drive including the time spent stuck in construction traffic. Lovely.

By the time I get her dropped off, it is 8:30, I have a patient coming at 9:30 and it is a 30 minute drive to get to work and a 10 minute walk to my desk, and then a 15ish minute shuttle ride to get to where I'm meeting my patient. I sat in my car thinking 'It's 8:30 and I'm already hot, sweaty, the top half of me is covered in cream cheese, and I'm exhausted. Can't I just go home?"
:thud:

[samssugarmomma]

June 22, 2007

We had our targeted ultrasound yesterday with the perinatologist. We are relieved to report that everything looks great! The baby is measuring right on target - everything was between 19 weeks and 21 weeks. They were 85 % certain that we are having another girl! We are thrilled! It is such a relief to know that everything looks ok. It's like now we have persmission to get excited! The next ultrasound will be at 26 weeks and then every 4 weeks until 34 weeks and then every week until the delivery.

On the homefront, we are finally starting to feel like our house is "home". It's taken us almost a year to move in and get settled. I guess that is what happens when you move in over 2 days and then immediately start working full time while your spouse is on months of q4 call. We ordered our new windows this week and they should be ready to be installed in the middle of August. DH is almost done painting DDs new room and we are moving her in next saturday when get gets home.

In July, we are going to get the garage straightened up and then in August we are going to get the nursery ready. We're going to re-use DD1s crib bedding and we've already decided on the color for the nursery. After we get the nursery set up, we are looking forward to spending Sept and Oct enjoying finally being settled and having some family time before the little one gets here at the beginning of Nov.

[samssugarmomma]

June 26, 2007

Sometimes, I think we must be insane. Yesterday, we traded in the Suburban for a new 2007 Mazda 5. The payment is the same as what we were paying on the Suburban, so its not as bad as it sounds. And since it is new, it is more likely to get us through the next five years of training. And it will get better gas mileage. And it will still fit three carseats. And it has a 3 year warranty, which our suburban did not. In the long run, its a cost savings. At least, thats what we are telling ourselves.

I love it but I miss my giant car.