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Life In The Real World

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  • Re: Life In The Real World

    It's snowing again



    It's beautiful, soft, fluffy, white....there is a gentle breeze.... We just left our neighborhood card club and walked home after a fun night of playing 500 and catching up with our neighbors. As we all headed out into the night, the complaints started. I tried to point out the positive: "well, it is beautiful". (It actually is!) Our pediatric psychologist neighbor turned around to me and in her best Oscar the Grouch voice grumbled "maybe. but I'm sooooo over it". (It's nice to know that even the professionals can embrace their inner grouches!) Yah...I'm over it too. We're all over it. There's just nothing we can do to change it. It's cold, it's snowing again...It's March and we all wish that it was June. There is not a single person that I talked to last week that could find a good thing to say about living here right now...even the diehard Minnesotans who "love this stuff" are not feeling it lately.

    But...it...really is beautiful tonight...I can't help but feel that way. These kinds of nights are what I love about winter. I'm just not all about those -45F with the wind chill days....and the extended bitter cold.

    Yesterday was Thomas' 43rd birthday. Holy Cow...I'm married to an old man!

    We made our regular trek to Space Aliens to celebrate.


    Though he says that he only goes for the kids, I have proof that he loves it. Here he is nurturing his inner child:


    The kids all had fun even though it seemed like the games were rigged to hand out very few tickets on Friday night. Andrew and Amanda kind of hung out together and did things...which was a big surprise for me. They seem to be finding common teen/tween ground lately. I've noticed that they spend some evenings talking downstairs in Andrew's room about school and friends. I sure hope that their friendships is starting to reemerge.


    Alex busied himself winning the most tickets (notice Zoe in the background)


    Aidan ran into some friends from preschool and they spent the time chasing each other around and playing monster.


    and Zoe...what can I say about Zoe...she was everywhere....most of the pics that I have of her are blurry because I just couldn't get her to stand still for a second! Oh...I feel old!


    At the end of the night, Alex told our waiter that it was Thomas' birthday and asked if they could sing their song for him. I thought Thomas was going to hide, but instead, he got up while they did it and let them sing to him! (Personally, I think he was just excited about all of the young college girls singing happy birthday to him!)

    I think...he had a pretty good birthday.

    The weekend is really flying by. Alex offered to play with Zoe and Aidan when they woke up this morning again and he did a great job of playing them while we got to lie down a little longer. Yeah, Alex...thankyouthankyouthankyou.

    Truth? Thomas got up before me. I laid in bed until....11! I needed the rest.

    This week I had a friend's (ahem, one who I'm about to kick to the curb) daughter staying with us while her mom was in NewYork. She had to be at school at 7:30am, so even though Amanda had Spring Break and I didn't have to get her out the door...well....I had to get this other child out even earlier. Thomas didn't want to hear my alarm clock and so....I ended up sleeping on the living room sofa! Actually, it would have been fine if it had just been me on the sofa. I was kind of excited about it because I could get comfy by the fireplace and...watch a little tv all by myself. No. The problem is that it ended up like this: The cats were thrilled that I was on the sofa...especially Scouty, who came at me again and again and again to sneak under the blankets. Then, of course Zoe was waking up at night and I ended up with her next to me as well.

    I really needed the lie in today. Even after getting so much sleep I was still dragging today. My breathing is pretty good though. I think I get 5 more days of the happy dance before we taper....but maybe by then the inhaler will be working some magic.
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

    Comment


    • Re: Life In The Real World

      Phew...It's been a long time since I've updated or really been online. Things have been so busy lately. We have had staggered Spring Breaks for the kids and of course, drumroll..... we all got Influenza A. Zoe was the first one to get sick, followed by Aidan, Alex, Amanda, Thomas, me and then...finally...Andrew. It's been like watching a house of cards slowly fall down card by card.

      I think the hardest part of it was the fact that we didn't just all get sick at the same time. It has felt like a long road to recovery for all of us. In the midst of feeling yucky, I've still had to get kids off to school and pick them up, had other kids home for Spring Break, had to take care of sick little ones. Thomas was so miserable that he actually cancelled his clinic (though he of course took his Influenza A with him to the ICU to see patients ...yes, that is who I would want visiting me if I was on a vent in the ICU...a doc with Influenza . He wore a mask, but still. ) ....ugh....Thank goodness we are all finally on the mend!

      Alex and Amanda also had a big Kung Fu presentation that they were a part of on Saturday night, so we had a couple of extra rehearsals this week on top of the yuck still circulating in the house.

      There were over 500 people there to watch and when Amanda walked into the hall before she presented, the first words out of her mouth were "let's go home"!

      Here she is right before getting on stage:



      Phew...after it was over, she and Alex pigged out on Chinese food!


      I'll post the video when I get it uploaded!

      We got home and finally colored our easter eggs....which was a blast for everyone (even Andrew, who is just way too cool to do family things anymore!).


      Alex took the most time with the eggs. He only colored a few, but he took the time to make them very artistic and interesting. Everyone else tried to just color as many eggs as possible.




      Hey...off the table!


      Zoe, get down!


      No way, Mom...I'm here to stay:




      For Aidan, coloring the eggs was the most fun...and he looked forward to it for days!


      Easter morning was low key for us. We didn't go to church or really do much that was Easter-like. Thomas and I are just still too worn out from not feeling well and still having to keep everything running. I did cook a nice German Easter Rouladen but not before sitting down on the sofa at noon and waking up 3 1/2 hours later with kids sitting all over me!





      HA...notice the mess in the background including the roll of toilet paper Zoe dragged into the kitchen. Have I mentioned that I've been sick?


      Indoor easter egg hunt...because...we got 7 inches of snow.



      We tried to take an Easter walk together as a family, but once again we didn't even make it around the pond before the kids were "too cold". I think we're just going to have to wait a few more weeks!

      Next week is also going to be a busy one. Alex is off for Spring Break and we have some play dates planned in the afternoons. Zoe has her NICU follow-up Tues. morning and I have a pulmonology appt. Wed. morning.

      My second article appeared in the St. Cloud Times today.....Here is where it is online...I don't know why it's posted in such an unusual format instead of directly on the SC Times page, but...here it is anyway. It is in the newspaper in a regular format:

      http://www.moms.mn/apps/pbcs.dll/articl ... /1067/MOMS

      OH...and the book is finally, finally done. The proofs got turned back to me, I made the corrections....by the end of the week, they are supposed to hand me my final proofs and it will be ready to print. Good grief has this been a process. The cover art has been the biggest challenge because their artist is...well...hmmmm. Hopefully, this first edition will be a good jumping off point and I can improve on it every couple of years...I know that everyone will have....a lot of....suggestions. (Obviously, I'll hand out free copies )
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

      Comment


      • Re: Life In The Real World

        It's felt like a really long week this week.

        Tuesday, the older kids went back to school. This kicked off the daily drive-a-thons, homework projects and talk of tests and quizzes. Amanda even had a pop quiz in science when she got back after Easter vacation. I don't understand why, but apparently, the teacher felt it was important. No comment. Andrew also has exams this week after being off for Spring Break last week. I can't wait until summer when I don't have to have their school stuff hanging over my head. Even thought I've distanced myself from the responsibility of it getting done, it weighs heavily on my mind.

        Zoe also had her NICU follow-up appointment on Tuesday.



        This was really just nothing more than an after-thought in my mind. I know that I have mentioned her gait abnormalities in the past, but I have kind of been working to let go of some of my concerns for her. We were set up for an appointment in the cities with orthopedics and got a letter from them stating that intoeing is very common in young children and doesn't need to be evaluated unless it doesn't go away by the time a child is 8. So...Thomas and I canceled the appointment and decided to try and move past our fears.

        At the NICU appointment though, the OT/PT person was not happy really with where Zoe is at developmentally with her motor tasks. Apparently, Zoe's motor *planning* is off or something. When she was younger, she had a weird way of crawling. Now, she has a weird way of going from standing to sitting, continues to show right-sided dominance (which I would not have guessed was a problem, but apparently she has shown handedness and a refusal to use the left hand for tasks since she started attending the follow-up clinic) and when she examined Zoe's gait by having her run up and down the hall, she took wide, awkward steps, her legs started buckling in and by the third pass, she had tripped herself. Right there...in front of the PT/OT specialist. Zoe is also a bundle of energy that is sometimes just frenzy. Tuesday was no exception and the PT person felt that it could be related to the difficulties Zoe has integrating her environment or something. Who knows. I'm not even sure that I buy into it all anymore. In any case, she wants her evaluated by PT again to see where we need to go. She is sending us outside of the system this time because the PT people here never followed up with us. The NICU doc suggested that Zoe was *borderline* on several of her tested tasks.

        To me, this is becoming like an extension of the bad pregnancy and all of the ultrasounds that I had for her.... "this is wrong, that is wrong..." I just can't get myself worked up anymore. I feel numb to it all now, and really...I don't know whether to believe all of this anymore or not. There is a big part of me that wants to just skip the PT eval and move on.

        The rest of this week has been a blur of kid's activities, get-togethers with friends and playdates for Alex (who has been on Spring Break).

        We are all looking forward to the weekend as a chance to hang out and relax. Thomas has to round both days and so he won't be here and we're expecting snow. (ummm...yeah? ). I think I'll have to work a little harder to find my funny bone this weekend.

        The good news is that we have had a few really nice days. I've been able to get outside and walk and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. Even though snow is on the horizon, I KNOW that Spring is on its way!
        ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
        ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

        Comment


        • Re: Life In The Real World

          So for those of you who don't know, March came in here like a lion and out like....a lion. Well, in any case, March 31st we had a big snow storm to lead us into April...



          We survived the storm and even celebrated the last snow of winter.

          But...April showers bring forth...April snow storms.

          Yesterday, the snow began coming down in sheets at 4pm...and overnight we got ~14 inches. Throughout the day today we continued to see flurries. For the first time all winter, the kids got a snow day.



          Ummm....yeah the last snow of the season?

          I went to bed last night with a terrible headache after shoveling the driveway...and woke up with the same headache. I was hoping that my teenagers could help out a bit with the little ones, but apparently it was too much to ask.

          The house was very loud and busy today, and I was in a rare bad form! I don't think I've ever been this grouchy and annoyed.

          Actually, this whole month has been extremely busy. It's been so long since I've updated that I can really only throw in some of the highlights at this point.

          For starters, our two teen-agers are driving us to drink. Beyond the homework assignments and teen sass is just the ugh factor. Teenagers are a new beast and Thomas and I are really struggling to adjust.

          Andrew goes back and forth between walking up to me and saying "mom, you look like you could use a hug" and hugging me...which he does about 8 times a day, and getting upset and having full blown teen tantrums where he shouts things like "shut up" or "I don't give a sh**". Holy Cow. He always apologizes later. I know he's struggling with the changes he's experiencing, but...wow.

          He has finally...finally (hey, it's only April, right?) figured out that if he studies for a test he can make a much better grade. He has basically been resting on what he knows or hears in class and hasn't cracked open a book all year. The result has been a steadily declining GPA and a very crabby and upset mom. Well...at long last, he started studying. Thomas and I both nearly fell over last week when he pulled out his geography book and was actually working on figuring some things out. He had 3 big tests on Africa last week and was panicked over them. He actually ended up with a 100% on each of the tests and his teacher came up to him and said...and I quote "Holy Shikeys, Andrew...so you studied, huh? I knew this is what you were capable of." Holy Shikeys?

          Last weekend, he begged me to take him and his friends to see his high school's production of Anything Goes. He had seen the show at school on Friday and wanted so badly to go with his buddies. I readily agreed. I was encouraged that he is so interested in theater and culture. The other moms were also excited.



          So off I went on Saturday night with 4 thirteen year olds to see a musical. On the way there, I tuned in to the whispering in my backseat.
          "Seriously, so can you like...seeeee anything?"
          "duh. Of course"

          :huh:

          It turns out, they all showed up to watch Reno Sweeny's 'Angels' <ahem> do their dances with the sailors because they were wearing super short skirts and only...ummmm...underpants underneath. It was kind of set up like theater in the round and we were basically a foot from the stage. We were in the front row and at one point during one of the dances, I noticed 4 heads bobbing simultaneously next to me...I had to put my foot down and tell them to knock it off.

          On the way home, I dropped the bombshell on them that I had played chastity (one of Reno's ummm...working girls) in the musical when I was in tenth grade and that I, too had done similar dances and worn a similarly short skirt.

          Andrews' friends said "Oh my gawd...that is like just so wrong"
          So I added "hmmmm...I wonder how many 13 year old boys came to look up my skirt"
          Andrew freaked out "you are just sick!"

          It was quiet for a few minutes in the van! When I got home, I was still freaked out about it. Thomas said "well, at least we know he's not gay" The other moms all got a good laugh over it....but I'm not ready for puberty. I'm just not ready.

          Amanda has taken tweendom to a new level lately. Her hormones are completely out of wack as evidenced by the pimples and mood swings and we go from having her be helpful and friendly to being completely sassy, moody and tearful. Her room is a perpetual disaster area. Here is a picture from tonight only a day after she had cleaned it. You might notice that my photoalbum is back in her room AGAIN:




          I know, I know...your daughter's Holly Hobby bedrooms will never look like this because you are good parents.... Peggy, let's get together for stiff drinks.

          Alex had his Spring Recital (which Thomas ended up missing because of an emergency he had with a patient). He came home from school that day with a fever, laid down on the sofa and literally slept until only 20 minute before we had to leave. I told him that I was going to call his teacher so that he could stay home because he was too sick and he replied "I can't, Mom. I'm the narrator. I have to go." Envisioning my cherub as the master of ceremonies of his 3rd grade choir concert, I gave him some ibuprofen and off we went. It turns out that .... he was one of 13 narrators that each had a few lines. Gotta love how seriously he took his 'job'! He was so proud of himself.



          In other news, I picked Alex up from KidStop one day last week and he was hiding in the back with 'Elise'. They were sitting on the floor throwing balls up in the air and trying to get the balls to hit each other. When he was getting his coat on, Elise ran up to him and said "bye Alex" and he looked down at his shoes and then half-whispered "are you going on the field trip tomorrow to bounce depot?" She said "yes" and he lit up and said "awesome...see you there" On the way home, I found out that they had gone on 3 'dates' at KidStop, had gotten 'married' and were throwing the balls up in the air so that the balls could "kiss".

          Have I mentioned lately how much I love Alex? He is such a sweetheart.

          Aidan and Zoe? Team Energizer Bunny. When I talk about Aidan being like a live action figure, I'm not joking. The two of them together can be real trouble. Today, they rode around on one of their bikes in the house, screamed, fought with each other, hugged each other, got into mischief together, climbed on top of the piano to turn on the fireplace...it was endless...endless.

          Oh, my pounding head!

          Watch them live here...you might have to turn your head around...I couldn't figure out how to get the video to play upright!

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP6xYx3jWt4
          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

          Comment


          • Re: Life In The Real World

            Wow...what a busy week! (I think I say that a lot!) Last week was a real whirlwind of activity. The big news is that Spring...finally started to emerge. By Wednesday of last week, the pond behind our house began to melt and I noticed the pussy willows in full bloom off of our dock.




            Though it was mid-afternoon, the sky looks dark and gray in these pictures. Saturday, we had gorgeous weather and the sun was shining...but I got so caught up in running outside with the little ones that I neglected to get a photo. I'm sure the sun will shine again and I'll be able to snap a picture to prove that Spring is coming. I....hope!

            My mom came from TX for a short visit on Thursday just in time to celebrate Zoe's SECOND birthday.

            Yep...baby girl...who walks around saying "I pincess" officially turned 2!

            Two years ago, our little miracle was making her early arrival:


            We made it through those early days....and...last year we celebrated her first birthday.


            Thursday, she celebrate her entrance into the terrific two stage in style:



            It took me forever to get a shot of her actually standing still. (Warning...this is about to get photo heavy..but I just couldn't decide which pictures to delete)
            I wanted to get a picture of her standing in my back perennial garden like last year, but she had other ideas!

            Jump, mommy Jump!






            She's a wild one!

            It was a busy day.

            We went to see the OB/Gyn that delivered her and to take pictures with him...then to my internist for more pictures...and then we were off to the NICU to donate some new baby stuff and....get Zoe's handprint up on the NICU wall!





            After her busy afternoon, she spent some time in the Peds playroom having fun:



            We also did the obligatory family trip to Space Aliens...but I think I've posted enough pictures from the day!

            All in all, I'd say that her birthday was a big success.
            For me, the day was bittersweet. I haven't been back up to OB/Gyn since...last year when we got the picture taken with my OB...and...I admit it...I burst into sobs. I couldn't help myself...but I did manage to shake it off and get through the rest of the day with a smile on my face. It was an awkward moment, but...oh well. I did pull it together pretty quickly, so...

            Friday, we got a package from Amazon.

            Here is my mom with it in her hand:


            It was such a surprise to get a copy of the book from Amazon....especially since I still haven't gotten my copies from the publisher. It is a really surreal experience. Now I'm nursing my feelings of inadequacy. Everytime I browse through it I find something I wish I had said differently or I think could be improved on. Sooo...I'm officially putting it away for awhile. At least it's a jumping off point. Ultimately, I do think I'll fix the things that I feel should be fixed...just not...today!

            Having my mom here for the weekend was a little bit mixed. Before she came, I did share with her that Thomas and I are just on the verge of burnout...we are totally exhausted from the early mornings, sassy tweens/teens, needy younger ones and the day-to-day demands of raising a family.

            Seriously...here is a typical conversation in my house:

            "Amanda, it is cold outside (53F). Zoe can't go outside without shoes and a jacket" (said as she has taken Zoe out into the front to ride on her little car).

            "For God's sake, Mom. You are just way too overprotective. It's warm outside. It isn't cold at all. Chill Out, would you?"

            Ummm..NO....NO I WON'T CHILL OUT!

            Conversation with Andrew:

            "Andrew, Sam is going to be here in 2 hours to work on the video project. You need to get a shower and clean up your room before he gets here. You aren't getting the video camera until you've had a shower."

            "I will. Get off my back."

            Andrew gets reminded every 15 minutes until 12 pm...at which point Sam shows up and Andrew is still in his PJs and hasn't showered. We refuse to give him the video camera because he hasn't showered. He has a temper tantrum in front of his friend....he refuses to shower for another 45 minutes and makes a huge deal out of it.

            When I ask my teens anything, I get sass, backtalk and a never-ending stream of discussions, arguing and headaches. I feel ... completely and totally exhausted beyond exhaustion simply from their shennanigans.

            It really gets to be too much. We're in the position of really not having a break. Our nextdoor neighbors are a wonderful retired couple who raised 4 children. They regularly watch their grandchildren for overnight and weekend visits and...I'll just say it...we are jealous.

            We kind of had to beg my mom to watch the kids so that we could go out to eat a couple of times for just a couple of hours. She is just busy and tired from working all of the time and she didn't want to watch kids. Several times, she expressed the desire to "do something". "Let's go to the grocery store or the mall or go and get my pictures developed or something" Finally, she told me that she has a much more active life than I do and that she doesn't know if it is because there isn't anything to do here or the kids hold us back.

            Hmmmm.

            I guess I just expected that she would come and nurture moi a little (I know...I'm a grown woman....I shouldn't have expected it.). Instead, I just felt inadequate for not being able to do things with her....and resentful for having to ask to be able to go out with Thomas for a couple of hours. It was a short visit and I know she is tired from working....I am not entitled to feeling upset...and yet....I am a little. I really, really need a break.

            My nextdoor neighbor tells me "Kris, I raised 4 children. I know what you're going through. You're not alone. I had many years where I loved my children, but I just didn't like them. You will ge through it."

            Waaah. I think that I might not!

            Alex is doing...great. He is Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky and I worry that he isn't getting the attention that he needs from us because we're so busy putting out everyone else's fires. I'm so glad that he goes to KidStop and can have fun playing and interacting with his peers so he misses the driving and a lot of the drama...but I also feel like I am missing out on his childhood. He isn't unhappy to say the least...but I feel...a little unhappy about the situation.

            Here it all is in a nutshell though:

            With Andrew, it's the never-ending stream of assignments, projects and attitude that just won't stop. I never...EVER expected this from Andrew. He was always so easy-going and such a sweetheart. Now...katy bar the door. It's terrible.

            Amanda is on the tweenercoaster. ifeelgreatlifeisgoodshehatesmeihateherlifesucksiha veapimpleyousuckihatethisfamily
            sigh
            Also, I got a call from her vice principal today that once again her grades have fallen. So...we got the mornings under control and she is no longer late. She is getting herself up 30 minutes before me to have a shower, she got a lead in the school play that was cast on Friday and things generally seem to be looking up...and then this.



            up.
            down.
            up.
            down.

            Boohooo.

            Aidan has outgrown his nap during the day...but he's still taking it. He has always had a nap from 1/1.30-4pm. Despite this, he has been pretty good about going to bed...until the last 2 months. Now, he still craves the afternoon nap but then can't get to sleep until 10.30 and sometimes 11 at night. I'm trying to shorten his afternoon nap and get him to bed early...but the result is a super-duper-crabby dude at dinner time. He whines, cries, has outbursts and is completely un-Aidan like! He needs his sleep. I know we just need to get through this.

            Then, of course, there is Zoe, who only naps for roughly 30 minute/day and goes to bed at 8:30....but not without 20 minutes of hysteria. She is very busy during the day and of course needs a lot of attention and love.

            I really...really need a break. Have I said that enough times yet?

            I just think that it is impossible to work at this 'job' of mothering 24/7...to meet the demands and needs of the kids without a break. Thomas and I just don't have it and it just seems like there is no end in sight.

            To top it off (for anyone who is still reading)...he wants his mom to come. We have fought about it and as a result he has avoided calling her. This resulted in a rather unfriendly phone message from her on our machine...and he's avoiding her again until he can tell her 'which date she can come...may or june'. My attitude is kind of...sure...may or june of 2020!

            I just don't have the mental energy to deal with her right now. It would be different if she offered us a break...but I know she will criticize us, point out our weaknesses, argue with our children, and clean the house while she complains about it.

            No. Thanks.

            Though Thomas understands my resistance, he says "I know what you're saying. I don't disagree...but...she's my mom."

            I do understand how he feels...but at the same time...I can't do it with her right now.

            To end this on a funny note....My mom and I were pulling out of the Caribou parking lot, and this truck was in front of us. We laughed so hard we nearly cried. (Sorry if this offends some! ) Look carefully at the bumper sticker and the trailer hitch.

            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

            Comment


            • Re: Life In The Real World

              Spring has sprung....well, at least for now. The weatherman is predicting snow tomorrow (up to 2 inches) and the chance of dustings over the weekend. April, April, macht was er will!

              Yesterday, we took advantage of the beautiful weather and the warm sun and I took Aidan and Zoe for a picnic lunch at the park! It was so warm (mid-70's) that there was even a couple near the park sunbathing in their swimsuits. The people here are desperate for some sun, I think. Even the hard-core Minnesotans that I know have simply had enough this year. (And of course here we are facing the possibility of more of the fluffy white stuff.)




              Eating Nutella Sandwiches...




              And...playing together!


              The ducks have returned to the pond, we've found the first frog of the season jumping about in the backyard, and my tulips are coming up.

              Happy Spring Everyone! (well, at least for today! )

              ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
              ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

              Comment


              • Re: Life In The Real World

                brrrrrr. Is it really April 26th?

                Yesterday, we were under a winter storm advisory that started at 1pm. By 6:30, all we had gotten was some rain and we breathed a sigh of relief. Phew...it missed us.

                Thomas and I went out with a couple that we have been friends with since moving here and had a great time sharing teenager stories. Two bottles of wine later (drunk mostly by the two ladies <ahem, me and her> since the men were driving) we were sharing our most yuckky teen stories. Man, was it a relief to realize that we aren't alone. We walked out of the restaurant at about 9:30...and the wind had picked up. I noticed that there was some ice covering our car.

                This morning, we woke up to this:



                oops, should have closed up the grill after we had our barbecue


                Why, yes...these are ICICLES hanging on our deck:


                The snow is blowing again right now....Ahhhhh, April. There's nothing to do but laugh. Mother nature sure has a sense of humor this year.

                On the kid front....all is silent with the younger ones.

                The older kids continue to provide us with endless hours of ....ummm....entertainment :huh:

                Officially, we have decided to move Amanda back to her old middle school though. We have come to realize that the social dynamics aren't much different in this new school and her unhappiness is also...the same. Events recently though, have sealed the deal for me.

                It started with the OMG comment that she made. I have gotten multiple calls over this. You would think she had dropped the F-bomb or something. :huh: :huh: Apparently, Amanda was asked to address this in a short little essay and she wrote that she doesn't understand how saying oh my gosh can be offensive to God. The text-talking became such an issue that now the kids have to spend the last 15 minutes of the day praying at school. I'm sure that other things must have played a role, but I'm just blown away by the fact that I've received multiple calls about how we don't take the Lord's name in vain at a catholic school. Of course you don't..but how about considering that it might not be what she meant or using it as an opportunity to address this issue positively.

                I recently started talking to the counselor who worked with Amanda through the bullying a couple of years ago. Her comment to me after finding out where we sent Amanda was "Oh...NO." She told me that she wished we had asked her for suggestions because "the staff is just....mean." She then shared some stories of her own interactions and disappointments and....honestly...I feel terrible that I haven't taken my daughter seriously when she has told me things. I just assumed that she was just embellishing the truth. Yesterday though, was the real dealbreaker for me.

                In gym class, Amanda was standing and talking with her 'friend', Gabe...the one who she had been text-talking with <ahem>. Another little boy walked up to them with a metal baseball bat and in front of Amanda, hit Gabe over the head as hard as he could twice and then dropped the bat and ran off while Gabe fell to the wall screaming in pain. Amanda was horrified because she thought Gabe might also be having a seizure. Both boys were gone for the rest of the day and Amanda is concerned about her friend and not knowing if he is ok. Me too!

                At some point during the day, the vice principal and a couple of teachers came in to talk with the kids about how "the devil had taken over this one child" and they needed to send up extra prayers to ward off the devil. My outspoken daughter basically said "the devil isn't responsible for this, X (child's name) is." It wasn't received well, of course.

                Here is what I have to say to the school at this point:

                OMFG And if they don't know what that means...they can look it up....and then pray for my soul.

                What if this kid had not stopped at Gabe and had turned to my daughter? I am horrified...truly...horrified.
                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                Comment


                • Re: Life In The Real World

                  It's funny. We have so much going on this week that I thought I'd never get a chance to logon. Instead, I find myself procrastinating by jumping into the debate forums or catching up on old posts!

                  I am tentatively going to offer up that spring *might* be arriving. It's still in the low 50's, but the sun is shining. It actually looks so warm outside that we've all been fooled into believing that it is warmer than it is! Monday, a friend of mine and I decided to meet up at the park for a play date with the kids. We wore light jackets and didn't think to bring gloves or mittens for the kids. After about 20 minutes of standing around shivering, Aidan finally came over to me crying because his hands hurt. We decided to move the play date to another day But hey....I still feel like mother nature didn't get the last laugh. Even though it started snowing as we were putting our kids in the car, we DID enjoy 20 minutes of pretending spring was here!

                  The older kids are really bummed about the weather. Andrew keeps asking me if I think it's going to snow again. Amanda is upset because her birthday is on Friday and we aren't expecting to break out of the 50's. "But it's my BIRTHDAY, Mom, my BIRTHDAY". I was talking to someone this morning who told me that based on previous bad winters like this we might have a shorter/cooler summer. I told her to bite her tongue!

                  Alex has been playing outside every day after kidstop/school. He seems impervious to the cold and wants nothing more than to sit on the dock now and wait for turtles. He is begging me to go out and buy him a new turtle net so that the summer games can begin.

                  Aidan cracked me up yesterday. I picked him up from preschool. They had been talking about jobs and the conversation went like this:

                  "Mommy, what job do you have?"
                  "Being a mommy is my job."
                  "No...what REAL job do you have?"
                  "Well, being your mommy IS a real job, Aidan."
                  "No. What job did you have a long, long, long time ago?"

                  hmmmm

                  "Well, I was...a teacher"
                  "You should get another job."
                  "Really. What job do you think I should get?"
                  "Chopping down trees."
                  "Oh...you think I would be good at chopping down trees?"
                  "Yes...or...stealing cars."


                  "Stealing cars? You think that would be a good job for me?"
                  "yes"
                  "but stealing isn't very good. I wouldn't want to be a bad guy and steal cars. Someone would be very sad if I stole their car."
                  "But MOMMY, if you steal a good car, then you can still be a good guy."

                  Ummm, Officer, I don't understand why you are upset. I stole the Mercedes, not that clunker over there. Aidan just cracks me up...but I'm still not sure that he understands that stealing cars isn't really a noble profession!

                  Zoe is finally starting to settle into some afternoon naps for about 45 minutes to an hour. This is huge for me. She is settling down right at the same time that Aidan is, so it give me an hour or so to just...relax!

                  Things feel like they are smoothing out for me again. I've been off of the steroids now for a couple of weeks and I'm back to getting more sleep (which I think was probably the greatest factor in my crabbiness!) It's taken about this long for me to feel like I'm evening out, but I am. Most days I'm feeling pretty good again emotionally.

                  We hurried the taper in part because we wanted to have steroid-free time for my CT scan, which was this morning at 8am. I didn't want to say anything about it in advance because I can't always count on getting the results quickly or even if I do sometimes I don't get a chance to pick up the phone or get online right away...so I didn't tell anyone (including my mom) until it was done. I've taken heat for not having the scan and then running out and calling everyone, so...I decided to do it this way.

                  As expected, the scan showed no evidence of recurrence. I think I can relax about it at this point. The only residual yuck to be seen are areas of fibrosis, which were visible and noted...again. Other than that...I'm good to go. Yay me! Probably the biggest connern that I had leading up to the scan this time was my weight gain. I really wasn't worried that the lymphoma was back...instead, I had some trouble falling asleep (and then woke up an hour earlier than I needed to) thinking that because I gained some weight on the steroids, I might not fit into the scanner. I guess it's a good sign that THAT was my biggest concern! The woman doing my scan has done several of them and she is probably twice my size...I got on the table and then said "You know, I've gained a little weight. I'm afraid I might not fit through it. Maybe we should...try before we do the iv (for contrast) and everything".

                  She started laughing. "Honey, you'd have to be at least twice your size before I'd even start worrying about that."

                  And ... she was right.
                  ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                  ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                  Comment


                  • Re: Life In The Real World

                    "You're so cool"

                    Well, that's what the girls said yesterday when I took them to the Mall of America for Amanda's birthday. In one day, I went from being the 'weirdest mom' ever to being 'way cooler' than their own moms. We even 'rocked out' to the cool music station on the long trip home. Yes, I basked in my coolness while I belted out the words to Low by Flo Rida. (Well, the words that I knew anyway LOL Shorty got low, low, low, low Judging by what I could make out from the song, I'm glad that those are the only words that the girls know too. I'm supposed to be the mean one, I know...and trust me, few days go by that I don't hear about what a "life ruiner" I am. Those few hours of coolness were worth it though.).

                    So on Friday, Amanda officially turned 12. TWELVE. Tweenerville is official. But she's already moved on. "You know next year I'll be 13, right?" yes. I know. I think she had a good birthday. We did the whole Space Aliens thing (of course) and then she and I drove around "rocking out" to music while talking about life, friendship, bullies, school, and God. She had incredible questions about why God 'lets' bad things happen and how you can believe in something that you can't see. I really began to realize how much she is growing up.

                    Attempted group photo:


                    While everyone else played games, I caught Amanda primping in front of a mirror. "Mom, when do you think my bangs will completely grow out?"


                    Saturday was her much awaited MOA party. She chose her two best friends to come with her and we made the journey to Minneapolis for 5 hours of shopping. It really was fun (even though my feet are very tired)! Amanda was also going to get her ears pierced. 12 is the magical age in our house. She chickened out though. After years of begging, pleading and wanting nothing more than to have them pierced and be done with her magnetic earrings, none of us could talk her into it.

                    "Now...I'm not so sure."

                    Here's the gang posing at the restaurant. Notice that Zoe is engaging in her favorite activity...ahem...nose picking. There's a little too much tummy showing there, but...it isn't my daughter...I did nag her about it though


                    (I am the running joke with my kid's friends when it comes to behavior. When Andrew's friends come over they have gotten so used to my nagging about good manners, good hygeine etc that when Andrew gets himself a drink they will openly joke about me "Andrew, are you using good manners. Did you ask your friends if they want a drink too?" It's all in fun but it's kind of interesting to see that it has stuck with them. "Uh-Oh, we went bike riding, I better take a shower because I want to practice good hygeine" with all eyes on me. Hey..as long as they take a shower, I'm ok with it. )

                    Amanda took her birthday money and saved up babysitting money with her and was thrilled to buy herself a pair of Abercrombie jeans! It was so fun to see them all so excited about being at the mall and picking out their own things. They also went on some of the rides:

                    Amanda has the blue shirt on!

                    It's been a fun week....
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                    Comment


                    • Re: Life In The Real World

                      Precious parts!

                      Let me explain.

                      My VW van was in the shop again today. I've lost count of how many times over the last month my baby has spent the day at the van 'spa', but in any case, Thomas met me yet again at the dealership so that I could drive him to work and have his car for the endless drop offs and pick-ups. (Have I mentioned lately that summer is almost here. Thank GOD for summer. Ummm...we're still waiting on spring, but hey...I don't want to ask for too much!)

                      It's already proving to be a busy week. I was actually only home for about 30 minutes before 3:30PM. I feel like all I do is run, run, run. Finally, the dealership called to say that they had fixed the problem...free of charge...for our partronage (translation: their incompetence and inability to fix the problem). I picked up Thomas from work (inbetween patients) and we drove over to the dealership. That's when he noticed that one of his little mini-hubcaps for his audi was missing.

                      We went in and then he asked "where can I get a nut cap to cover my nuts" Ummmmm...They are called HUB caps, not NUT caps. Oh, the pain. "But they cover my nuts...the things that you screw tight. "
                      Lordy, lordy...the language barrier...sometimes it still rears it's ugly head.
                      I explained that even though these little plastic round disks do indeed cover the..ummm...nuts...that he...screws in tight that they are callled hub caps.

                      Our VW dealership, where he bought his audi, didn't have any in stock (and I'm sure thinks that we are insane) and so he got online. In a rather ironic twist of fate, we found some on ebay and ordered them. The email that we got from the company selling them after I ponied up the cash (hmmmm...what's wrong with that picture) had the subject header: precious parts.

                      Oh...if they only knew HOW precious!

                      Today was beautiful. The sun was shining, the thermometer hit about 65F. It felt like a spring day. We're supposed to get spring all week as far as I know. I was listening to the radio today and the disk jockey said "chance of snow tonight...no...no...I mean showers...rain showers...I am so used to think about this winter that I forgot that we might not be getting snow!"

                      As it turned out, we didn't get any rain showers either...just rain clouds that are supposed to stay with us through tomorrow. That's ok. Spring is on it's way. Mother nature is trying to hold onto winter, but she is losing.

                      I have fed 'carpy' our carp twice now. He's out and about and trolling by my dock looking for bread. Before I know it, summer will be here! I can't wait. As son as Mother's Day is behind me, I'm supposed to be safe to plant my veggie garden. I'm poised and ready. My goal is to be able to sustain us for the summer (at least veggie-wise) on what I grow. It'll be interesting to see how that pans out. The raspberry bushes are coming back. All of the vines are littered with leaves. My grapes on the other hand :huh: ... nothing yet. We'll see what comes up over the next few weeks. I'll be disappointed if I have to start over with my ummm..vinyard but if I have to, I willl. It'll be an opportunity to plant more of the grapes that I love, right?

                      The kids are doing fine. Andrew is full of his typical teen junk. Amanda bathed Zoe and Aidan for me AND then went to her room BEFORE 9pm (there is a God) to do her homework. Alex and Aidan were in bed early as well and Zoe fell asleep before 9. I actually had time to get the main level cleaned up and some laundry done.

                      Thomas was at work until 10:45 tonight. Boohoo (though I picked him up at noon and we had lunch together at a restaraunt over his lunch half hour). His partner has been off and he had 27 inpatients plus clinic, plus his other responsibilities. He called several times and was just exhausted when he was finished.

                      This will be a busy week AND he has call and has to round both days this weekend. I hope the weather is nice so that the kids and I can be outside!

                      ramble, ramble....did I mention that my engine light went on AGAIN when I was picking up Alex.

                      sigh. Back to the dealership.
                      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                      Comment


                      • Re: Life In The Real World

                        We're all crawling to the finish line....

                        Well, that's what the mom who pulled up behind my van said to me when we both arrived at preschool yesterday 20 minutes late. I had to look down and make sure I wasn't in my pajamas (not that it would have surprised her ) before responding.

                        Crawling is right....if she only knew! Thursday, Andrew had his last day of school. He fell asleep at 6pm the night before and I awoke at 3:30am to the sound of him leaping up our wooden staircase yelling "mom,mom,mom!". He threw open our door and ran to my side of the bed. "help. I had a night terror".

                        I got up and took him down to the kitchen and made him a strawberry milk while he told me about his terrible dream. It was truly awful. Once he was settled back down and had picked up a good book to read, I stumbled back up into bed and then...laid there for an hour and a half unable to fall back asleep. Eventually, I dozed off, but was awakened again by the sounds of Andrew and Amanda talking. He had gone into her room at 5:30am with his book about the interpretation of dreams and the two of them were sitting on her bed analyzing his dream.

                        I let it go...It's so nice to see them sharing with each other again. They had such a close bond when they were little, and they lost this as they hit puberty. I see that shifting again as they begin to share similar experiences and interests and it's a relief. So I laid in bed again listening to them talk and share about the dream and about middle school.

                        Before I knew it, it was time to get up and get everyone going.

                        True to form, on his last day of school Andrew missed the bus to school...I signed him up about 6 weeks ago when the cost of gas and my sanity were becoming issues. I had to drive him and then when we got there he said "oops, I forgot my ID card. I need lunch money." So...we ended the year just like we started, with me driving him and then rummaging through my purse to pull out $5 (the cost of a lunch at his school ) because he couldn't find his ID. Then when I got home, the phone rang: "Mom, I forgot my library book and my geography book. You have to go to my cubby and then bring them to me...my geography book is worth 10 points on my final and it all has to be turned in today!" I went to his cubby in our laundry room and found.....THREE geography books. I took them all in and the secretary recognized me immediately: "Andrew's saxophone?" "No. Just his geography book...It's worth 10 points on his final. Well, actually, there are three of them. Don't ask." "Hmmmm. Maybe he'll get 30 points! "

                        After turning everything in, I arrived 5 minutes late to pick up Aidan. His preschool teacher mentioned the potluck picnic on Tuesday for end the school year.

                        "Oh, I thought today was his last day. I didn't realize it was Tuesday."
                        "Umm. No, actually, tomorrow is his last day."
                        "Oh, yah...umm...yah...that's what I meant. Tomorrow" Ooops. I knew then I'd have to break it to Aidan that he had to get up for school just one more day. At least it gave me the chance to get his teacher a gift.

                        crawl. crawl. crawl.

                        Today I celebrated though. Andrew is done...Aidan is done...and we have a 3 day weekend. Next Friday is the end of the school year for the final two stragglers and then we can finally enjoy the nice weather. Amanda has to spend her final week taking tests, so she is really bummed...but Alex will have a week of fun and games.

                        No more homework. No more video projects to make me lose my mind! I am so happy to have this year behind us!

                        We made the decision to put Amanda back into our public middle school next year. She really wants to go back and we just can't see spending the money for her to be unhappy. She has pulled her grades up and has come such a long way emotionally and socially. I really see an incredible amount of positive change in her. I know that for the last few months in particular she really disliked her school. They are very strict and she hated it....but it was good for her. I just hope she can hold onto the changes that she has made.

                        When I look at her lately, I don't see a little girl anymore. I really see a young woman. I just can't believe it. She still has her moments of sass and backtalk, but she has really blossomed this year into a responsible, caring person. I feel really proud of her. Last week she also played a leading role in her school's Spring concert/musical...and she was awesome. Thomas and I were in awe...she's really talented...We felt so proud of her.

                        Thomas and I also started planning our first vacation since we got married. My mom has officially asked for the time off, so it feels real!

                        I have been walking an hour/day. I finally just gave up on dieting altogether and even though I'm still eating food...you know...no shakes, low carb, weight watchers, etc....I have still managed to lose 5 pounds. It feels really slow. It is really slow. That is hard for me because I love the instant gratification of losing weight more quickly. The only problem is that I always gain it back and then some.

                        I gained weight on the prednisone and I'm eager to have the weight off....but I am sick and tired of dieting and depriving myself of things and then binging and putting it back on. The more that I exercise, the less hungry I also feel lately. Even though I've only lost a minimal amount of weight, my clothes are fitting me differently and I can tell that my legs are gaining strength because the walking is becoming less difficult for me.

                        I've decided for myself to go back to school in the Fall...or to do some volunteering...I'm not sure what. I'm over the whole "I am my kid's mom" thing. I need to spend some time with other adults without children climbing all over me. I'm tired of having phone conversations where I have to hide in the garage to be heard, or of talking to someone while a screaming toddler creates a vaccuum of noise in the background. The Schwan's man will thank me, because I won't invite him in and talk his ear off....my kids will thank me because I'll be more evened out. It's just time.

                        I realized this when I started having a babysitter come. I just need time for me to do things that are valuable to me beyond being a mom. A week ago, my sitter was able to come for the entire day. It was like a slice of heaven. I read, studied, had lunch with Thomas, went to the bathroom in a public place without my 4 year old opening up the door to the bathroom stall exposing me to people waiting in line , had coffee, walked and just...had time.

                        Tonight, Thomas and I went out for dinner and then walked for an hour along the banks of the Mississippi River. He asked me what I value in my life besides him and the kids...and I couldn't think of anything...It finally occurred to me that the only thing in my life that I protect more than my family is...my Wednesday night girl's night out.

                        I met a couple of very nice women several months back and we now get together once a week for an evening of coffee, dirty jokes and parenting laughs. I would crawl there through a pit of fire ants if I had too.... I value friendships...I value time with other adults going through a similar phase of life....I am generaly speaking a very shy person and so building friendships can be difficult for me....the more that I get out though, the easier it is getting....and the more that I realize that I need kid-free time!

                        Here's to summer vacation:



                        Kris
                        ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                        ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                        Comment


                        • Re: Life In The Real World

                          Today is Monday.

                          We slept in until 10am.

                          I think that says it all!

                          Last week marked the end of a year-long marathon of driving, driving, driving.

                          All weekend, the kids said "what are we going to do tomorrow? What are we going to do next week? It's SUMMER!"

                          My answer?

                          "Nothing."

                          We didn't sign Andrew up for the bi-weekly German review at his school this summer because I want to avoid the drive. We're going to do the German homeschooling thing again anyway, so I'll cover the bases that way. Soccer starts for the kids this week, but that is the only activity that I'm planning on taking them to. I'll plan our fun trips and excursions, but...first I need a break.

                          Andrew and Aidan have been finished with school for a little longer and the act of not having to drive them and do pick-ups last week was a huge relief to me. I even started sleeping better. Alex and Amanda celebrated the end of the year on Friday. Yay! We are all relieved to be finished with the homework, projects and seemingly endless hours in the van. With gas here right at $4.00/gallon some days, it will also be a relief to our over-stretched budget.

                          Sending Amanda to the private school this year was a real struggle for us financially. It was an unplanned expense that came on top of the floor repairs in the kitchen and the tile repair in our bathroom. We are planning on using the summer to reign it all in again. Hopefully, we can get caught up (or at least close to it!)

                          I was planning on taking a class, but even that might have to wait. I've made the official decision to go back to school in the Fall (if we don't end up being able to make it to Germany) or in the Spring (if the Germany trip ends up being a reality.) In the meantime, I'm going to be volunteering one afternoon/week at the hospital to get some more clarity/direction.

                          My life has changed a lot over the last few years and I feel much more at peace with who I am and my life in general. The experience of the last few years though also taught me that as much as I love my children....I also want to fulfill some of my own dreams. You only live once. Carpe diem. All that stuff.

                          I have dreamt about some type of career in medicine since I was in the 4th grade. I still have a copy of the poem that I wrote when I was 9 years old about becoming a doctor. My mom says that I told her that if I ever forgot that dream, that she was supposed to remind me of it. (She didn't. ). When I was in the 6th grade, I learned the electrical pathways in the heart because it interested me. I read all of my mom's nursing journals and was certain that I would pursue a path in the medical field.

                          They say that the best laid plans go oft astray...and in my case, that is true. There are a variety of reasons why my life took a different path. I don't regret any of the experiences that I have had. My life is fuller...richer for them.

                          As Robert Frost so eleoquently said:

                          TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
                          And sorry I could not travel both
                          And be one traveler, long I stood
                          And looked down one as far as I could
                          To where it bent in the undergrowth;

                          Then took the other, as just as fair,
                          And having perhaps the better claim,
                          Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
                          Though as for that the passing there
                          Had worn them really about the same,

                          And both that morning equally lay
                          In leaves no step had trodden black.
                          Oh, I kept the first for another day!
                          Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
                          I doubted if I should ever come back.

                          I shall be telling this with a sigh
                          Somewhere ages and ages hence:
                          Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
                          I took the one less traveled by,
                          And that has made all the difference.


                          As I approach the ripe old age of 38 and realize that my oldest child is 13...and my youngest is now 2...and will be in preschool in one short year, it feels like my life is coming full circle. It's true that way leads on to way, and that it isn't possible to go back and take the other path..and honestly, I wouldn't want to. I'm happy with my life and where I am today. But this path that I'm on has led me to new opportunities. There are now new roads for me to travel and once again, I find myself staring down several paths.

                          I've been using the last couple of months to review my chemistry and biology. I'm going to continue doing that this summer. I don't know if I'll actually end up sitting the MCAT (probably not, but you never know) or if I'll just take the things that I need to apply to PA school. In any case, there are options available to me and I have the support of my husband...which is also important. Of course, dh is leaning towards wanting me to go to PA school. His partner will be retiring and he wants me to be able to step in and work with him. It sounds appealing.

                          Who knows where this new road will lead me...but I feel really happy and at peace with the decision to find part-time childcare and take time for me now too.
                          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                          Comment


                          • Re: Life In The Real World

                            I survived the first week with all of the kids home.

                            Actually, it wasn't bad at all. I'm starting to realize how lucky I am that Andrew and Amanda are a little older and can help out more. I've been able to clean up, study, or work on the final revisions of the second edition of the book that I'm submitting in less than 2 weeks (gaaaaah!) while Amanda and Andrew take the little ones in the backyard (or out front) to play. Amanda and her friends all want to be able to play mother's helper when they come over too. I eagerly hand over a few dollars so that they can walk to the store later and get themselves a treat in exchange for their help with the little ones or chores around the house. Saturday, Amanda and her friend watched Zoe and Aidan for a few hours, cleaned the bathrooms, carried down the laundry and helped with some other things. In exchange for their hard work, I let the little girl spend the night and then and gave them a few dollars to spend at the mall the next day. I dropped them off and let them shop for a couple of hours and they were thrilled.

                            I know that I'm really lucky that Amanda wants to help out so much with the babysitting. I have a few friends with daughters the same age and they are much less willing to help out their moms. It's easy to blow off her messy room and some of the little stuff because she is such a big help in other ways.

                            Andrew has hardly been around all week. He and his two best friends rotate in and out of our homes, but really, they spend a lot of time outside on bike rides, walking and just "hanging out". Everyday he gets up and says he wants to do something as a family, but then whatever I suggest gets knocked down. He's eager for me to take them on our first adventure, but the weather has been so weird here that I haven't planned anything. Thomas and I suggested a fun family activity for today, but after all of his whining that we don't do enough as a familiy anymore, he said "Oh, I can't. I have plans.".

                            plans. My 13 year old has plans to hang out with his friends. He's growing up. It's so strange to realize that his friends now play a much bigger role in his life than I do....it isn't that I'm not important...I'm just not at the center anymore. I never thought that would happen, but it has.

                            Alex has been so busy since school got out that I've rarely seen him as well. The boys in our neighborhood are all his age. They all head out the door as soon as they get up and get dressed and have to be dragged in for lunch and dinner. It's how summer should be, and I'm happy for him. Again though, I have this feeling that I play such a minor role anymore. :huh: I know it's not true, but the contrast between the older children and the little ones is huge.

                            Even Aidan has decided that he is growing up. He refuses to hold my hand anymore. "I'm not little anymore, mom." He also keeps running out the door after Alex. I'm constantly chasing after him and sometimes I don't realize that he's left until he's been gone a good 10 or 15 minutes. I get busy with Zoe or I am in the shower or am making dinner and I turn around and he's gone. I know our neighbors are apalled. He is very small (not even on the growth curve). Many people guess his age at 3 instead of 4 1/2. Zoe is almost as tall as he is and she weighs as much as he does. Yesterday, I let Aidan play in the cul-de-sac with Alex and I checked on them a few times. I guess I just kind of gave up :huh: . One of my neighbors let me know that since I wasn't outside with him, she had sat on her back porch and watched him for me. whatevah! I mentioned that this is a tough summer for me with him because he just wants to play with all of the boys. I told her that I'm constantly running after him and that I had come out several times to watch him...but that I also felt comfortable because his 9 year old brother was with him. I mentioned that he is 4 1/2. She was surprised...she thought he was much younger. I'm even considering putting him in an afternoon daycare program here because I just can't chase him all afternoon. I don't know what to do.

                            I understand his frustration. All of the boys run to one of the empty lots on the pond. They build tee-pees, fish, and play ball. Half of our neighbors have bought trampolines and you can see and hear the kids jumping and laughing. Other neighbors have put up huge...massive aboveground pools. I can't imagine what they spent on these. If the weather ever warms up, I know these will be a hit too. Even with the economy what it is, it's all about having bigger, better, more!

                            How do you hold a 4 1/2 year old back? How do I say no all of the time? I can't sit outside in a neighbor's yard. I can't spend my afternoon standing around empty lots so that he can play there. The other little girl in our neighborhood who is just a few months older than he is has free run of the neighborhood. She is allowed everywhere. It's just a tough call.

                            Zoe is just....Zoe. Cute, cute, cute....and she knows it. She gets so much attention that I know she realizes that she runs the show here! The challenge with her is going to be reigning it all in someday. She is so spoiled. No one else is allowed to sit with me or on my lap or she throws herself to the floor and hides her face. If they don't move and let her come sit on my lap, she runs to the stairs (while giving me a dirty look) and then lays herself flat on the bottom stair and hides her face again. She loves going on walks and loves playing outside. She is back to wanting to go with me everywhere I go.

                            "Mommy, mit; Momy, mit; Mommy mit, mit, mit!"

                            I had my 38th (ACK!) birthday last week.

                            My digital camera is still missing in action (I got a new one for my bday but it hasn't arrived yet) and so I had to use a disposable camera for pics. It made me realize that I can never go back. I can't stand not being able to see the picture to retake it if it's bad. Half of my film ended up being unusable because it was blurry or too dark. We only got a few good pictures of our traditional Space Aliens bday celebration:


                            Ummm, Yah....keep walking, Kris. sigh.


                            Alex with a big smile on his face. Mom, where are the tokens? Lets go play!


                            Dude...you need a haircut!


                            Is my hair frizzy? Do I have split ends? How long will it take for my bangs to grow out?


                            coke, coke! (um, no....MILK!)


                            Impish little grin!

                            I'd say that things are going pretty well right now...with the exception of a trip to the ER for Aidan, things have been calm. I also have begun to realize how much I truly feel a part of the community here. Last week, I hung out with other moms at soccer, met with a friend for coffee one night, went with another friend to Bounce Depot so the kids could run off some steam during a cold, rainy day and have had multiple conversations with neighbors. Things feel...as they should be here right now. Wow...it only took 7 years, eh?
                            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                            • Re: Life In The Real World

                              Warning: Picture Heavy!

                              It was just a matter of time.

                              The warm weather finally arrived her in MN last week and I couldn't help myself. Thomas was scheduled to work all weekend, and facing a long weekend alone with the kids I......


                              packed the van and headed out to South Dakota with my five and Amanda's friend, Phedon.

                              We left on Friday...




                              and headed out into the exciting Minnesota countryside.


                              Alright, I admit it...the wind turbines were the most exciting thing for about 300 miles. At least it was educational!

                              The next most exciting thing was the clouds which the kids convinced themselves were tornados forming. Ahhhh, the joys of not taking a video player in the van!



                              Then, we finally hit South Dakota. Within minutes of crossing the boarder, I lost cell phone coverage. I was not able to use my cell phone to call home the entire time that we were in S. Dakota, which made me a little nervous. If the van had broken down, we would have had to sit tight for awhile until we could get help.

                              I suppose our adventure truly began though in Montrose, South Dakota. As we were driving by, we noticed the world's "largest" sculpture of a bull's head.


                              I know, I know....ooooooh, aaaaaaah! The exit sign indicated that the artist had an entire sculpture garden that we could visit and so we decided to make our first fun stop of the trip.

                              The sculpture garden was located on a farm adjacent to the highway and the entrance to the sculpture park was on a small, one-lane dirt road that wound around for about 2 miles. Though the winding road should have tipped me off, I was distracted by all of the beautiful sculptures of goldfish along the way. They were also made of iron (all of his sculptures were) and were then painted beautiful, bright colors. At every twist and turn it seemed like there was some new, cute sculpture to look at. We approached the sculpture garden and it was apparent that there was a lot to see. I parked and we eagerly jumped out of the van and headed to the tent to pay our admission. Kids under 12 were free, so I only had to pay for Andrew and I. Fair enough.

                              I asked the man whom we paid if he was the artist. He said that he was.
                              "How do you do these?"
                              "I don't know" he answered slowly...and then picked up a large piece of iron and waved it in the air while he talked strangely to me. Ultimately, he pointed to the very farthest point in the garden, which was the sculpture of the bull's head. He told me to be sure to walk all the way to the end and walk through the head.

                              I stepped away and noticed that Zoe was shaking....really shaking. The other kids had already walked over to the first sculpture.....A large yellow hand holding a purple butterfly. The sculpture was probably as tall as my 2 story house. It was amazing. I started walking towards it while the artist tried to tell me about a wooden horse he had sculpted that was "the world's largest sculpture". He wanted me to turn around and look at it, but I just continued to walk towards the kids. Later, I turned around to look and....there was NO horse sculpture. Then I looked more carefully at the hand holding the butterfly. It had a large piece of wood stabbed into the center of the hand and blood was dripping out.... Zoe was still shaking and saying "I scared me. I scared me."

                              Frantically, I started looking around. I noticed a really neat sculpture of a goldfish bowl...also massive in size. I thought it was incredible...until I noticed that the bowl was cracked and one of the goldfish was stuck in the crack. :huh:



                              Weird, but not freak-you-out weird...just strange.

                              That's when I looked up and realized that all of the sculptured bird's houses contained sculpted vultures. I admit it. My heart started pounding when I walked by the colorful sculpture of the jack-in-the-box (twice my size) and noticed his eyes were gauged out and blood was dripping down his face. No...actually, I flipped out.

                              The older kids had taken Aidan and Alex and headed down one end of the horse-shoe path. I was on the other side. As I looked around, I realized that the artist was also gone....nowhere to be found. I ran across a field to the kids....They were standing around a sculpture of some sort of a snake/dragon. "Take a picture, Mom". I told them that I would take the picture and that we were then leaving. "I have a terrible feeling, you guys....we have to go!"



                              At first, the kids didn't understand. They hadn't seen some of the weird things yet.

                              I turned and pointed at the next sculpture...a tarantula eating a girl:



                              A sledder crashing into the ground...his tongue covered in what looked like blood



                              That's when I noticed that the sculpture of the T-Rex. It was standing there handing you a bouquet of flowers, but when you twisted around to look at its head, it was viciously eating an animal.

                              Nearby was a sculpture of a woman with her arms, legs and head chopped off. Every single alarm went off in my head. I lost it.

                              "Holy Shit, you guys...holy shit..."

                              The artist was still nowhere to be seen and it was 7:45pm....15 minutes until the park closed. I handed Zoe to Amanda, directed the kids to run to the van and get in and to lock the doors if something happened to me. I gave Andrew the key to the van. "If something happens, get in the driver's seat and drive away...no matter what...just drive to the highway." He took the key and they all ran...with me taking up the rear.

                              I have a heavy camera and I wrapped the strap around my hand and tried to weaponize it.

                              I made it into the van, locked the doors and sped away.

                              Once I got over my nausea and fright, I realized that this was probably just some weird artist and not a crazy murderer who lured people in with cute sculptures to massacre them and bury them on his land....but I admit that this incident almost caused me to turn around.

                              Later, Andrew did nothing but laugh at me "Holy Shit, Holy Shit....drive the car away!"

                              The rest of our trip was....much less eventful !

                              We stayed overnight in Mitchell, SD and the kids went swimming while I drowned out my worries in a big glass of ice cold diet coke and watched from the sidelines.

                              For those of you who are curious as to what it is like to be in a hotel room with 6 kids, here you go:




                              I slept in the double bed with Aidan and Zoe. Good Times!

                              The next day, after a leisurely breakfast, we drove by the corn palace and a few other smaller sites and then headed towards our final goal: Mt. Rushmore!

                              With stopping for potty breaks every hour or more, we needed an extra hour to get there, but...we sure weren't disappointed.



                              As we entered the park, Aidan was feeling crabby...all of the driving finally caught up with him.




                              It was truly beautiful and we had a great time walking through the park. At the end of it all though, we were exhausted. On our way to the hotel, we came across a sign leading to a cave with tours every 20 minutes. It sounded really fascinating and so I decided to tempt the gods and try one last thing before checking into the hotel.

                              The tour got started at 5pm....the bewitching hour....Me....with 6 kids...2 of whom had not slept in the car and had missed naptime. You know where this is heading, don't you!


                              This is all that I managed to see of the cave


                              Zoe became incosolable after about 10 minutes of the 1 hour plus tour. She was crying and screaming and throwing herself to the floor. She started yelling at the tour guide "You stinky, you stinky!" I have NO idea why she was saying that, but I can tell you that I was mortified....and even more so when he stopped the tour and asked me to leave. He used one of the emergency phones and called the front desk and had us escorted back. The older kids were permitted to stay, and the tour guide offered to watch Aidan so that he could finish the tour. Phew...at least the kids got to see the cave!

                              Zoe sitting nicely while we waited for the escort.


                              And...having tantrums in the gift shop where I had to wait for an hour while she rolled on the floor, cried and then raced around trying to rip her sweatshirt off....oy.




                              I can laugh about it now!

                              We checked into the hotel for an evening of swimming and relaxing. The kids were all on their very best behavior. The older kids all helped out with the younger ones and really made things easier on me!

                              Andrew and Amanda swam with Zoe ...




                              Aidan tested out his skills...



                              And Alex goofed about with the rest of the kids in the pool!



                              Even better is that Andrew and Alex played together...for the first time in a loooooong time!



                              It was loud, it was chaotic....it was...great! Thomas would have been miserable with all of the mess and noise, so I suppose it was better that he was working. I missed having him there though and I wish that he could have shared in our fun.

                              We met several people at the hotel in the swimming pool...other moms and grandmas watching their grandchildren swim. The next morning at breakfast, the kids continued their unusual and completely appreciated good behavior. We all sat in the restaurant and they talked about reptiles and taught Aidan and Zoe about mammals. They said please and thank you, sat quietly and were kind and thoughtful. When the meal was over, they asked me what they could do to help before taking the younger ones to the room.

                              One of the grandmothers walked up to me and said: "You have truly wonderful children. They are so well-behaved. You are a good mom."

                              I felt great...until about 30 minutes later when we were getting into the van and Andrew accidentally bumped Amanda in the eye (resulting in piercing shrieks of "I hate you"), Alex spilled his clay and water mixture (don't ask) all over the back of the van and some got on Amanda's jeans (again with the shrieks of "I hate you!"). Then there was the intentional farting, teaching Zoe the name of the capital of some province in Canada that is Regina...but that the kids were pronouncing Ra-Jine-Ah. sigh. So they got Zoe screaming ah-gina, ah-gina and giggled until I gave up and put my headphones on and blasted Matchbox 20 to drown it all out.

                              Yup...Mom of the year here!

                              We headed out to what was probably my favorite part of the trip...the reptile gardens...That's where we got to see the giant tortoises....they were massive:




                              In the interest of not boring you to tears, I won't post all of the pictures of the kids with the Anacondas, poisonous spiders and various reptiles.

                              Here is Zoe though after looking at a giant alligator:


                              "I scared me, I scared me!"

                              These are some of my favorite pics from the trip:


                              Alex


                              Zoe


                              Andrew


                              Aidan


                              Amanda

                              Our final stop
                              a place called the cosmos....where there was a cabin built on a hill that supposedly defies gravity. In order to walk at all in the house, you had to lean forward, and...balls and water rolled uphill. (I'm sure it was a trick based on how crooked the house was built )



                              (after this pic, Zoe promptly fell and rolled backwards down the room!)



                              Alex was not falling...he was floating on the air...really. LOL.

                              (Actually, he was standing on the ledge leaning forward against the force of gravity...he did not fall! It looks like he's floating though!)

                              After all of that excitement, we had lunch and then started the long journey back to MN. We stopped in the Badlands on the way back to enjoy one last look at the beauty that S. Dakota had to offer.




                              On the way home, our trip was rated a "10 out of 10" by the kids. "How did you get to be such a wonderful mom. You are the best mom ever."

                              Can I have that in writing?
                              ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                              ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                              • Re: Life In The Real World

                                Warning: Picture Heavy

                                Ahhhh, so many places to see and so little time to do it all in!

                                We set off on our second adventure of the summer this past weekend. I have been mulling it over in my head since we returned from South Dakota, but Friday I decided to just pack the van and do it...so I filled up the cooler, threw some things into a suitcase and off we headed for Canada.




                                It was the fouth of July and the kids were eager to see some fireworks. I bought a few for us to set off on the side of the road while we were traveling and found out about a big fireworks display being held in a town called Saykston, North Dakota. In true...Math family fashion we pulled off at the rest area in Saykston, hopped into the back of the van and watched the pyrotechnics from a safe distance. We were actually close enough to town to hear the music from the big street dance in town.






                                The fireworks display put us behind schedule. We didn't arrive in Minot, ND until after midnight. In the morning we slept in and then headed over to the Minot Zoo, our only planned stop on the way up north. The zoo was smaller than some of the bigger zoos we've been too, but it was really nice. Interestingly, the kids were all most fascinated by the ducks and geese...ummm...hey guys, we have ducks and geese in our pond!







                                The weather was beautiful and by the time we had spend about 2 hours at the zoo, we were all hot and sweaty. That's when I noticed the waterpark on our way out of town. I decided to grab the swimsuits out of the suitcase and make an impromptu stop! After nearly two hours of swimming and going down the giant waterslide, the kids were ready to jump back into the car and head towards Saskatchewan. It's a good thing we had entertained ourselves earlier in the day because there wasn't much to see in northern North Dakota!






                                We got across the border without a problem and posed for a fun picture before heading on towards Regina.



                                Regina. The town that Andrew consistently pronounced like vagina...but with an r....I spent half of the trip correcting him and being upset with him for saying things like "what did you do on your summer vacation, Andrew? Oh, I went to rrruuuuhh...jine....ah" snicker, snicker.

                                The town that actually IS pronounced like vagina with an r. Seriously. One of the first things that Andrew did was ask someone how to pronounce it and wouldn't you know...I was wrong! Much to the delight of all of my children, it became ok to say ruuuhhhjine ah. Aidan kept saying that we were in vagina, so I corrected him. "It's with an r, honey....rrrrrrr, not vvvvvv". He took my hand and leaned up to me and said "It's ok, mommy, everyone knows it's called vagina, not ragina" and he was dead serious.

                                sigh. For all of my aggravation about the name of the city though, I have to admit that I couldn't help myself from giggling every time they said the name of the town on the radio! When I bought myself an "I love Regina" coffee cup, Andrew said "God, mom, you're so immature." Um yah, right!

                                We went to Chuck-E-Cheese the first night. Of course, the older kids insisted that there would be nothing there for them to do...yah...right!







                                Zoe was absolutely terrified of the Chuck-E-Cheese singing mouse and she cried everytime she noticed it. I'm starting to realize how sensitive and easily frightened she is! Poor little Zoe Christiney Beany!



                                We spent an entire day at the Saskatchewan Science Center in Regina and it was really nice. Though it was similar to the children's Science Museum in the twin cities, it wasn't as big and the displays were different. I enjoyed it a lot mroe because it was easier to navigate and we were able to do every single thing in the 4 hours that we were there!






                                Alex testing out Galileo's theory that objects with different masses will hit the ground at the same time when dropped.





                                My favorite display was the Magic Schoolbus weather station. I love Miss Frizzle! I had a college cell biology teacher that reminded me of her. She actually came into the classroom on our first day of lecture from the very back of the lecture hall and walked down the stairs singing to the tune of It's a small world: "It's a cell world after all....". She was always doing creative things to teach....like making me stand up in front of 200 kids one day and taping amino, carboxyl, hydrogen and r groups all over my body to show the structure of amino acids. Annoying to be sure...but I never forgot. When I taught, I always tried to model myself after this professor and come up with some unique, fun teaching things...though I never could go as far as to tape functional groups to kids heads! Rock on, Miss Frizzle!


                                There were a lot of really unique displays to see, and then at the end of it all, we saw a shark movie at the IMax and then the kids played outside on the playground.








                                On the way out of town as we headed towards Manitoba, I discovered the Regina VW Club. When I drove by slowly, they opened up the gate that they had to let us in to display our car. Crack me up...of course I didn't stop.




                                The trip to Manitoba wasn't without some excitement. My bank noticed that there were charges coming from MN (Thomas) and Canada. I stopped for gas in the middle of nowhere somewhere between Regina and Winnipeg and tanked up for $108 Canadian dollars and.....the charges were denied. I tried Thomas and I's joint account as well as my own private checking account. Denied. I had no cell phone reception in Canada and was wondering what the heck to do. I did have a different credit card with me, but it is for online use only and it has a small credit limit intentionally so that if the number gets stolen someone can't cause a lot of damage. I was near my limit, but the charges were accepted. I had to call Thomas collect. It turns out that there were multiple messages from the fraud dept. on our machine. He finally got in touch with someone who said that they would have to talk to me in order to give me access again. When he explained that I was in Canada with 5 children, no cell phone access, and no way to pay for gas the next time they agreed to temporarily lift the ban until I got back and called.

                                Yikes.

                                The trip across Canada was beautiful. There was nothing but land for miles and miles. I felt like I could literally reach out and touch the top of the world.




                                The clouds were incredible. They seemed to go on forever and were so low to the ground that in the distance they sometimes appeared to be mountains.



                                It was beautiful.




                                We spent the least amount of time in Winnipeg. The weather was dreary and the kids were feeling worn out from all of the traveling. We spent the night in a hotel there and then I had planned to visit the planetarium...instead, we decided to do a quick car tour of the city because of the rain and then just head on home.





                                Though we had no problem getting into Canada, the US border patrol did not want to accept the photocopies of the kids' birth certificates. Fortunately, I just got a long lecture with a few threats peppered in and then I was allowed to go on through. Otherwise, I guess I would have had to leave all 5 kids with him and drive home and get the original documents. :> hehehe...it might have taken a few weeks!

                                On the way home, I finally gave up on the fighting and bickering and...stopped in Grank Forks at a Gamestop and bought 4 used old Gameboy Advance systems that run on batteries...with 4 used games.



                                We had a wonderful trip!
                                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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