They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

I'm going to admit some very unattractive elements of where I am with my sister right now. If I'm being totally honest and free with my words, the bottom line is:


SHE BUGS THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.


It's a sorry state of affairs - -but that's where I am. I have let things slide and chosen NOT to address what I consider clueless and self-involved behavior FAR TOO LONG. I play a role in this and I'm really frustrated that I let this go as long as I did.

This topic is SOOO layered (as most family topics are). My parents have always taken the stand of: she's' the misfit, the one who has always tried to fit in (which I take issue with) and doesn't, she's the one without a partner and family, and she's the one who has questionable skills to go about her life in the world. As a result, my brother and I (especially me for some reason) have always been pressured to make a big deal out of her stuff, go to her activities and meet her friends. It's SOOOO bizarre to me because it feels, now more than ever, so contrived. My sister is almost 34 years old and she still thinks to "support her" I need to go "watch her salsa" and meet her friends when I'm 7 months pregnant and the thing doesn't start until 10:30 at night. WTF!!!!?????#$*%$&#*)@&%)@$%

Meanwhile my sister is always two hours late or doesn't show up for anything I've ever deemed important to me -- holidays, milestone parties, and yes my son's Baptism where she was GODMOTHER and showed up 40 minutes late and I could give a million other examples. She also has STRONG opinions on the strangest topics. She almost took my head off for taking the highway when she had a better way (in her opinion) to go. First it wasn't rush hour, second, I LIVED IN THIS AREA FOR TEN YEARS AND KNOW MY WAY AROUND, and third, if you're not driving -- PIPE DOWN.

Interestingly enough, the flashpoint for my discontent was when I was in the NW where she now lives again after two years in another country. DH set up some time for my mom and I to shop a bit and go to lunch alone. It was very sweet of him. It was only a few hours on the last full day we were in town -- but I was looking forward to it and I was a bit tired of going everywhere with eight people. I needed a little downtime.

My dad felt it would hurt my sister's feelings if she wasn't invited. Dad told DH as much and DH was a little stuck and not sure what to do. I was oblivious to all of this until after the fact. DH wanted to set it up first and then tell me when to be ready so I didn't have to wade through the issues of a big group and our kids' needs which again, I really appreciated. Suffice it to say my sister was invited. I suggested we drive two cars and she could meet us there which she basically said no to. Her meeting us was reasonable. Her making us wait would have stretched my patience JUST a bit too far at this point in our trip. So she's 40 minutes late and we head out. We hit a few furniture/house decor stores and I'm pissed about my sister and trying to calm down. Then she realizes she forgot her phone which is a big deal because her job need to be able to get a hold of her at all times. The next 30 minutes involve her using my MOm's phone to call my Dad to check her car outside my parents house to see if it's in there. My sister is stressed, my mom is getting annoyed and for me this is just par for the course with my sister. I'm just.... :huh: :huh: . Nobody knows where her phone is -- it's not in the car apparently. We trot off to the next location and my mom tells my sister to use her car and go and get her phone. She does. The good news is I had a ball with my mom ALONE with no sister immature drama. The bad news is we were late to the next phase of the day because my beloved sister took 90 minutes to get her phone becasue her "friend called" and she didn't want to drive and talk. OMIGOD I'M SO SICK OF HER I COULD SCREAM.

So we've started a dialogue about building a better relationship and taken a few babysteps. SHE wants to just start fresh and be positive. I don't want to be a bitch but I think we need to do a tiny bit of repair work before I can move on. I'm not going to give her a list of times I wanted to punch her, but I will use examples of past behavior to illustrate a point.



Did I mention that my sister is also passive agressive when she gets defensive?

OH BOY this is going to be fun.

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

So after a lengthy research process and a few conversations with my doc, I am going to have the Breech Eversion procedure at noon on Friday. Cross your fingers it goes well OR he's already flipped himself. (please!)

The bottom line is the procedure has much less risk for baby than a C section does for me. Recovering from abdominal surgery is NOT something I'd like to tackle on this third and LAST experience of labor and delivery. I'm going to want to be back on my feet YESTERDAY post birth and a vaginal birth will be much easier to heal from.

Yes it may not work and it will be painful but I can stop at any time so that works for me. Apparently they only try from about 10 - 20 minutes so it's not like it's a full or half day procedure or anything. The doc says often times it works in the first five minutes...OR she can tell it's a no go depending on the baby's position.

The one thing I DON'T want to have happen is my water breaking and us being parents for the third time a few weeks early. My parents get here 10 days before my expected due date so what to do with the kiddos would be an issue. That would be the worst case scenario I think.


On a totally different front in my life, my parents have asked my brother for input on my issues with my sister! That's surprising for so many different reasons. I guess they are pretty upset with the situation and wish I would just let it drop. NO WAY.

My "dialogue" with my sister has been slow going. She's convinced if we talk about anything specific we'd get into a tit for tat mentality which I totally disagree with. I think it's a cop out on her part and am wading in carefully.

I want to know where I have failed her so I don't repeat that behavior and I want her to hear how being habitually late, never calling, and essentially being "the cable guy" in my life has gotten old over time and I'd like to change a few things and work towards a better relationship. I'd like her to see that when she has a new boyfriend she wants everyone to meet him, email him, and talk to him on the phone after about two months.... . She has such a Cinderella attitude about marriage I want to scream -- and she's almost 34 years old. I am just scratching my head.

She's been allowed to act this way for so long I'm not sure she even is aware how many people fix her messes or cut her slack everytime she's late.

The good news is I left my brother out of this (which he appreciated) -- and my parents dragged him in to comment and he completely supports ME!!!! He gets why I'm frustrated, slapped Mom and Dad verbally on the wrist a bit for treating my sister like a lost child most of the time, and telling them to stay out of it. It's between sisters. Go BRO!!! He's five years my junior but has been married for a number of years and his daughter is 13 months. He's had to grow up in areas my sister has not. His take is our sister is clueless, I'm going to slowly have to out think her and eventually be the bigger person because she'll never "get it" on her own. I don't disagree. It was so nice to hear that he's had issues with her that just left him shaking his head. He told Mom and Dad we should implement a 15 minute waiting policy for Sister and if she misses it we LEAVE WITHOUT HER to whatever activity is planned. This SHOCKED them. :> :>

I told my parents when they are here I don't want to talk about this. They can't be objective and they get into "protect the weaker sister" (not me) and it bugs the crap out of me.

My brother says if I get any pressure from our parents to "play nice and leave things alone" with Sister while they are here for a month helping out with everything post baby #3, I am to instruct them to call him immediately!!!

I feel so validated.
While this isn't even close to a bad family problem to have, my sister really needs a reality check so things can change. She's been out in space without her helmet for far too long.

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

Two milestones yesterday -- Kindergarten shots for DD AND she ASKED to get her hair trimmed to "manage the snarls."

The shots went okay. She freaked a bit but admitted that they weren't so bad. She basically had her 6 year wellness check up at the same time as the shots because her bday is in October. She has grown 2.5 inches in 9 months and is in the 98% for height, 50% for weight at 44 pounds. She's not 6 yet and is 47.5 inches tall with LONG legs. She gets those from her dad! As we left the doctors office she was all smiles and waves "thanks for getting me ready for kindergarten!!!"

I've been "suggesting" she get her hair trimmed for a LONG time and for some reason it's been something she has been scared of. I have no idea why. She sees her brother get them all the time.

So off we went to Great Clips to get her ten dollar trim! It went well and she says she'll go again when she needs to and not "make a big fuss." My girl is growing up!

I've been COMPLETELY flip flopping in this stupid Breech issue with Baby #3 -- EVERYONE has an opinion and DH is even getting it at work. Most of the women he knows have commented that I should NOT try it. Sigh. I can't win here.

I'm now more nervous than ever, not sure of my decision, and I rarely make a choice and look back wondering if I made a decent choice!!! I hate being unsure!!!!

I'm going to stick to my guns, give it a try and see what happens. Sigh.
With all this buildup I bet it will go fine and I'll look back and laugh.



Today I planned an afternoon at the pool to get some sun and stay comfortable in the 80 degree weather. Hopefully it will take my mind off tomorrow!!!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

Today I planned an afternoon at the pool to get some sun and stay comfortable in the 80 degree weather. Hopefully it will take my mind off tomorrow!!!

So I met a really nice woman at the pool who is also pregnant and due late July. We got to chatting and she has HAD a Breech Eversion.

She said her's lasted 5 minutes and was so painful she described it as an "out of body" experience. The bottom line is it did NOT work and she had a C section anyway.

She went home and was so bruised she didn't realize she went into labor 14 hours later -- she just thought she was still sore from the procedure. Again.... . When she went to the hospital she was 6 cm and in active labor.

HOLY SHIT BATMAN.

I'm SOOOOOOO going to have a talk with my OB before we start the insanity tomorrow.


Flip baby flip baby flip baby flip!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

So as I posted in another forum, I chickened out on the Breech procedure. Oh well. Such is life.

The C Section is scheduled at 7:30 a.m. on the 8th -- a week away! My parents fly in this Sunday.

We started swimming lessons this week and it's going well. DS is in DD's class because he's SOOOOO good in the water for his age and DD prefers this actually. It's funny when DS sits on the wall with a 5 year old boy (he's three and a half). The older boy is skinny and taller and DS still has a little baby softness to his middle despite being extremely tall for his age. It's pretty cute.

DD was nervous the night before lessons as is her standard behavior when we start something kind of new and even shed a few tears. I never make her try things she doesn't want to (except food!) but swimming lessons aren't an option in my mind. To her credit she worked through it and even met another girl who will be in her class next year. I'm so glad. She wants to try soccer in August and I really hope it goes well. She's so happy just playing at a park and/or at home with or without friends around and while she needs to do things at her own pace, I worry that she gets so worked up about new experiences.

So today is another day at the pool (tough life I know ). I like submerging myself up to my shoulders while I watch the kids to beat the heat and give myself some relief from my "Jabba the Hut" body.

Off to start the day!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

My parents fly in early evening today!

The house is ready, the pantry is stocked, and the laundry is DONE! Yes I am one of those sick sick people who really gets pleasure from having my laundry chute EMPTY! Staying on top of the laundry is something I value. I know I need help in this regard...or meds or something. I do about three loads a week -- usually I wash during the day, pull out the clothes that need to be hung, and fold when the kids are in bed. I hate having to do 3-4 loads to "catch up" before guests come or when the underwear is low.

I'm officially huge and uncomfortable and REALLY glad I don't have to wait until my real due date (17th). We go in Tuesday at 5:30 a.m. for a 7:30 C section PLUS the added bonus of getting my tubes tied!!! (sorry, if that is TMI!)

I'm not sure if this is more of an issue due to baby boy being breech but last night I had to relieve myself 3 times!! YUCK. The last time was around 4:30 a.m. and I just couldn't go back to sleep -- so I read a bit and listened to the thunderstorm coming our way. At 5:30 when the thunder was at its peak in volume, DD walked into our room and we read Cinderella. It was fine because DH was sleeping in the guest room. I'm restless at night and that keeps him up PLUS he's gotten paged a few times when I was sleeping soundly which really wrecks me for the following day. So -- it's a win win for now. DD was thrilled we read the WHOLE book. Of course DS slept through the whole storm.

Our July fourth weekend was really fun. DH worked about 3 hours on Friday, then we had a BBQ at our house with some friends who have kids (two girls) the same ages as ours. After dinner, facepainting, and some sparklers, we went to the town houses they developed and largely own which are on the water. We had a front row view of the towns' fireworks show and made some smores over the firepit! The weater was perfect and everyone had a good time.

Yesterday DH cleaned out the Suburban, changed the car seats around, and took care of the yard. The kids played/helped him outside and I got to get off my feet for a couple of hours -- my ankles were THANKFUL.

I will be AWOL from here for a week or so (laptop is having issues) but will try and check in once to let you guys know everything is fine.

Happy July 4th weekend everyone!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

This might be shorter than I would like but we'll play it by ear!!!

I'm HOME -- but let me back up a bit.

William Timothy was born July 8th at 8:14 a.m.
He was delivered via C section and was 21 inches long and 8 pounds 14 oz. At the time of his birth I was 38 and 5/7 weeks along. I cannot imagine going full term with this one!

William and I are fine although I lost too much blood during the birth and so I'm anemic right now...no biggie due to no symptoms but it's something I need to get tested soon.

Bottle feeding is going well. He feeds about every 3 hours and needs 2 to 2.5 oz per feed. He's a piglet.

He looks a great deal like his siblings except he has a dark head of hair (and a lot of it!) and so far has his dad's beautifully dark Italian skin (DH's mom is half Italian -- from Naples actually). He has slate blue eyes like his sibs. If everything holds it will be a beautiful combination.

My parents are a big help although my mom is sick now and really hurting with flu like symptoms. Ish. We've put her in the basement so nobody else gets sick! The Grandparents are over the moon with excitement towards the new guy.

DH is taking the kids fishing with my dad today so my mom can have a sick day and all I have to do is baby William. Fine by me. I am doing a good impersonation of Jabba the Hut with all my swelling (I got a LOT of fluids in the hospital) and am MUCH more bloated than when I was pregnant. Oh goodie. I'm HAWT right now.

I have to run but wanted to check in.
I'll write MUCH more later....the whole C section thing was SURREAL.

William is adorable and DH and I are having fun parenting TOGETHER!!! I don't think I fed William or changed a diaper until Thursday! DH's been FABULOUS!!!! Last night he did night time duty until 3 -- then I jumped in willingly for one feeding then he did the most recent one.

The kids are PSYCHED to have a brother and while things are a bit amped up right now and not normal as far as the energy level goes in the house -- they've been great.

Thanks to all the PMs of support and good lucks!
I read them all and will respond in time!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

I've been lame about updating -- busy busy busy with Mom sick. Well she's better now as of TODAY and able to participate. That was SOME nasty virus.

Here is a letter I sent out to friends and family I tweaked a bit for this site. Some of this is repeat info but I'm too lazy to type out a fresh one. I'll try and post pics soon....Enjoy!




As you know William was born on Tuesday July 8th -- the shrimp/lightweight of the family at a modest 8 pounds 14 ounces. He was delivered at two days shy of 39 weeks -- so I wonder how much he would have weighed had he been delivered at term. DH stayed with me in the hospital Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday -- day. Thursday evening he slept at home and Friday we left the hospital around 10:30 a.m.

Having William where DH works was a treat. Everyone was so nice and we had lots of short visits from people saying congrats. The nurses were very attentive and I never had to ask twice for anything. Additionally, DH's hospital is a much smaller hospital than Swedish (where DD and DS #1 were born) so the evenings and nights were QUIET. I actually slept well all things considered. At Swedish, there always seemed to be LOTS of people walking the halls at all hours and the nurses didn't know the concept of whispering!!

Both William and I had a few tense moments during the birth but we're both fine now and thriving (me on Percocet and him with all the love he's getting from friends and family!). Every day for me is a better one now and although I need to take it easy for about three more weeks, I feel like I've turned a corner these past few days. Now if I could just get rid of all this extra fluid!!! My "Jabba the Hut" impersonation goes over much better in October when William's older sibs were born!!!!!

Having a C section was surreal. Although I was induced with my first two kids so my births with them were scheduled, this was a completely new experience. DH was with me the entire time except when he had to follow William to the post birth area so he could get weighed and get the appropriate bracelet etc. DH tells everyone this is the MOST nervous he's ever been in the operating room -- heart surgery is so "neat" compared to a C section. While he kept his poker face on for me, he told me later that it was one "bloody MESS." When William came out he didn't cry for a few more seconds than was comfortable. When he finally did cry he pinked up right away and has been doing great ever since. I lost too much blood for some reason during the operation, and as a result my pressure dropped to where it was concerning. I suddenly became VERY uncomfortable. It felt like a 300 pound man was sitting on my upper chest. I attempted to throw up a few times but was unable and needed some pain meds to relieve the pressure. It was scary because DH was gone at this point (with William) but the docs all worked together and got my pressure under control. I'm still anemic but have no symptoms other than no energy so they'll keep an eye on it and it will fix itself eventually. I did not like having William being taken away - and me still stuck on the operating table. In the recovery room DH's partner happened to be walking by so we surprised her and DH and I said a quick hi. After William was done getting checked out DH brought him to see me with a nurse in tow.

William is adorable and DH and I are having fun parenting TOGETHER!!! (Unfortunately DH doesn't remember too much of the early infant days with our other two due to residency.) He's very sweet and SUCH an easy baby. He's already had stretches at night where he's slept between 4 and 5 hours. DH's been FABULOUS!!!! I don't think I fed William or changed a diaper at the hospital until Thursday!

Until DH went back to work, he did 95% of the night feedings. Bottle feeding is going well and I'm a big fan. William feeds about every 3 - 5 hours and needs 2 to 4 oz per feed. He's a piglet. He looks a great deal like his siblings except he has a dark head of hair (and a lot of it!). He has slate blue eyes like his sibs.

My parents are a big help although my mom is sick now and really hurting with flu like symptoms. Ish. She's been quarantined to the basement after she went to the emergent care clinic and has been diagnosed with an awful virus. Hopefully by this week sometime she'll be back in action and able to hold William.

Everyone has pitched in and kept the kids active with fun activities!
Saturday (the 12th) DH took the kids fishing with Pop so my mom can have a sick day and all I had to do is shower baby William with attention. Fine by me.

Sunday they went to the nature preserve by our house for more fishing and lots of tree climbing.

Monday was William's first Pediatrician check up since he as born. He's currently 8 pounds 12 oz -- almost back up to birth weight. Everything else with him is perfect. The visit went fine but I completely ran out of gas on the way home. I just had no energy despite not doing anything but walk to the office. My brain is ready to get back in the swing of my life but my body is not apparently. It's only been a week but I was discouraged just a short trip outside the house was so draining.

Today Pop will take the kids to the pool. It's supposed to be 80 degrees here so it's a great day to beat the heat poolside.

The kids are PSYCHED to have a brother and while things are a bit amped up right now and not normal as far as the energy level goes in the house -- they've been great.

Thanks to all the emails and calls of support and good lucks!
I read them all and will respond in time!





Some more short updates:

I feel better and better every day now. I took my first significant walk around a couple of blocks near our house yesterday and it went well. It will be two weeks post C section on Tuesday.

The fluid is ALMOST gone from my legs. There is a small chance I do still have ankles. The great part is I've lost 20 pounds since coming home from the hospital -- mostly baby and fluid I imagine so I only have 15 - 20 more to lose and I can't exercise yet! I'm psyched about that. I was worried being AMA, bottle feeding and having a C section would slow this process down considerably.

William is now going down at night around 10:30 -- up at 4:00 to feed and down again -- then up between 7 and 8 in the morning. He's a dream baby in this respect and I'm so GLAD I'm not nursing.

I'm going to go see about posting some pics.....

Thanks againg for everyone's support.
All the advice on bottle feeding, and post C section life has been RIGHT ON. You guys rock.

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

Here's William not quite two weeks old yet and some nursery pictures.

Enjoy!

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

William is 3 weeks old as of yesterday. The time is flying by BUT my parents are still here so I have lots of help. Check back with me in four weeks time and I might say something else!

So far, going from one child to two children was 5 times harder than adding William has been. DD was only two when DS was born so that plays a huge role and of course the lack of space, no money, and HORRIBLE training hours DH was knee deep in plays a significant role too.

Yes I'm tired and yes we'll have more bumps in the road after my parents leave but this has been SO MUCH EASIER than last time. A big YEAH to bottle feeding as well. That's really taken the strain of feeling trapped totally out of the mix. Everyone who said to me we are in the perfect place to add a baby -- even a TOTAL SURPRISE baby -- you were right.

However, just when things seem pretty predictable POST new infant -- there comes a CURVEBALL. OH LORDY.

Um -- in a nutshell there is a job available in one of the four cities we would ever consider moving to. Now. Right now. It's a great job from what we know so far, in a location we like better than here, the job has LONG TERM viability which this one may or may not, and the case numbers are much better than here. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

We can stay here and make a great salary -- probably forever -- but DH wants to move and shake a bit, do more cases and work with more people who trained at top programs and like to go the extra mile for their patients and not just do what's been done for the last 20 years....ug and double ug. I worry that this city isn't growing and this will effect the job here eventually.

I am a mix of "I'm so glad we have options" and "I DO NOT WANT TO MOVE AGAIN SO SOON!!!!!!!"
DH has been in discussion with the senior partner and they will set up a meeting (first interview) sometime next month I imagine.

Serious cons so far:

• We'd have to take a pay cut for a couple of years prior to making partner....how much is not known yet.
  I built OUR house with our family in mind. It's OURS. The kids love it...and we've made it our home. Sigh.
  Selling our house where we are now will be EXTREMELY difficult I imagine.
  DH would (MAYBE) work more than he does now and it would compromise our lifestyle.

PROS:

• Long term job security -- this practice is the only game in town for DH's speciality for MILES (well over four hours plus by car). More cases for DH.
  A town we like better.
  Closer to family -- within driving distance.
  While there would be a pay cut up front, if/when partnership is made it's likely we would make more than we do now.
  DH can work with more "stars" in medicine.
  New quality construction is common in potential city so we'd be able to find a house we love for less money than we built ours and basically have the same space.

DH talked to his mentors where he trained and they all said the job is in fact a SOLID job -- good guys in the practice and a firm business plan. They also said DH would likely fit right in with the personalities and they laughed and told DH to tell them when he accepted....

I've already had one day where I freaked out a bit and was pretty sad about all of this -- so I've gotten it out of my system for now.

I'll just see what transpires and take it as it comes.
I worry about DD -- she's so jazzed to go to Kindergarten and have three friends in her class.

Off to get moving....cross your fingers this all works out for the best -- whatever that might be. :|

Oh -- and on a side note but definitely worth mentioning....DH is really worried about his family with all of this. He realizes how hard this will be short term for us if we DO move. I'm pleasantly suprised by this. Little by little he's evolving into more of a well rounded human being and not just a well rounded dawkter. (oxymoron?)

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

William is four weeks on Tuesday.
My parents left yesterday evening after staying and helping out for a month.
DH talks to his partner about the job possibility out West this week.

Is it possible to feel totally blessed and completely EXHAUSTED (emotionally and physically) all at the same time??

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

... today is the first day I am solo with all three kids post C section. So far so good.
I am about 90% as of now....my stamina is still a little low but I am wondering if that's from surgery or getting up twice a night. Who knows. I haven't taken meds since the second week and I've been driving a little bit as of the third week. My incision looks great but it's at least 5 inches long.

My parents helping out and being here for a month was WONDERFUL. Even with Mom having a nasty virus for a week -- it was still a huge help to have them here. I have no idea how people do it with limited or no family help. Saying goodbye to them was gut wrenching as usual. Sigh.

DH has continued to be a star in the helping area. He plays with the older kids at the drop of a hat, goes grocery shopping and cooks with NO prompting. It's been very nice. He's stressed out about the job possiblity out west so he's been sleeping poorly so we're both a little deprived in that area but not in a crabby way THANK goodness.


I forgot to mention that after William was born DH surprised me with a diamond pendant. It's BEAUTIFUL and a total surprise. It's much more beautiful than it sounds -- but it's three diamonds that hang straight each getting a bit larger. The setting is white gold and it's very subtle (the setting, NOT the diamonds ) so it looks very classic. Obviously the three stones represent our three kids (do I have THREE children????).

I LOVE IT. I can wear it with anything yet it's very special.

I'm planning on starting a bit on our stationary bike (with a high back) this week sometime.
I need to start doing some light exercise to get back into the swing of things. I've continued to lose weight but I still have a solid 15 pounds and a baby ponch to lose.

Off to shower off while everyone is good.

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

Last night I went out with the other Mom's I hang with. It's a once a month dinner date and I've missed it the last three times. DH was solo with all three kids and they gave him a run for his money. I came home three hours later and he looked, spent. Unlike during residency I actually felt sorry for him a bit. It was his idea I go. He saw the email and mentioned it to me that I HAD to go.

The good news is William finally went down for DH around 9:30, up at 1:15, down again at 2:30 and then up again at 7. He's done this the last two nights. Getting up once a night instead of two really makes a HUGE difference.

DD has started soccer. She cried at the first practice but got into it about 20 minutes later. The first game was Wednesday and she had a ball. It's four kids on a side and four, ten minutes quarters and no goalies. There are eight kids on her team so she played roughly 20 minutes. She LOVED it. She was pretty agressive and jumped and squealed when they scored. I had a great time watching her.


DS played with the younger sibs during the game and had a good time. He cheered for his sister and got in on the juice boxes after the game. He's still a huge lovebug. So sweet.

DH made his first interview reservations. :| He goes in a couple of weeks. He talked to his partner yesterday -- they kept missing eachother with patient issues and finally got to sit down. She was great about it as we anticipated. She's an awesome partner. The bottom line is the case #s she was doing when DH interviewed a couple of years ago are down by over 50%. Nobody could predict this. DH went over his numbers with her and she was a little shocked. She understands but is hoping this job is just a look and see kind of thing. DH will tell the administrator he has a relationship with today. The admin. has a lot riding on keeping him (us) here. She has his partner to keep happy and a small program to keep running. I know if we get serious about this other job, the numbers on DH's salary will grow...what would it take to keep him here? The bottom line is it isn't about money. We're both on the same page here thank goodness.

Last but certainly NOT least -- it's our TEN YEAR anniversary today. Holy cow. Ten years.

We'll do dinner out as a family -- then DH and I will have a cocktail together (me wine, him gin and tonic) on the deck and talk. With a new infant and the emotionally charged idea that we might move within a year -- we're both pretty tired. I was showered with gifts after William was born so I'm completely okay with just having some QT. I'll have to get him a card today.... This anniversary has been a bit off my radar with everything that's been going on.

I can't believe the summer is rapidly coming to a close. If I'm totally honest with myself, I'm NOT looking forward to winter this year. I'll have to snap out of it because, like it or not, winter comes in FAST -- usually during early October. Oh goodie. Sigh.

Off to start the day...

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

DH left for his interview ( ) this morning.
He's going to call me tonight to report his first impressions.

On paper this is a great job....in an area we like better than where we are now so I'm really curious what he thinks so far.


On a side note, me solo with three kids for the first time at night is going really well. I have time to type this which can't be bad, right?


I'm not sure if I want his interview to go REALLY WELL...or have him come home to say "it was worth looking into, but I don't think it's a fit."

I'm in a weird state of limbo right now. Dammit.

[Flynn]

Re: They Lived Happily Every After...or, detoxing from residency

So this job is by no means a slam dunk. I'm relieved.

DH tends to be a "grass is greener" kind of guy where I am Miss Realistic --- sometimes a killjoy.
Now we can wade through the pros and cons and really "talk" about things.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear DH say, "The two hospital thing is a problem. One guy rounds at hospital A at 5:00 a.m. so he can get to Hospital B, round, and be ready for his cut time at 7:15 a.m. That is NOT what I call a reasonable schedule! The midlevels barely do anything for them! I think these guys work a lot."

Gee, YA THINK!

The job does have long term viability and the case numbers are MUCH better than our current job. They hospital (at least one) is much more cutting edge and offers more services. The town seems to be more of a "real town" in that it offers more than we currently have. The schools are solid. The guys in the practice seem really nice -- but not necessarily the "come to our group and we'll mentor you and get you on your feet." They seem more like you come, you promote yourself, you eventually build a list of people who refer to you. You are your own island so to speak.

We need to know more about the lifestyle/typical schedule on call and off call, and how the compensation works. We're thinking salary for one to two years, then you eat what you kill. I'm not sure you even share in the profits of the group. :|

Hmmmm. I'm a "lifestyle" kind of girl. We have gone from "living to work" to "working to live." It sounds like this would be a drastic change.

To be continued...