Eating out with a toddler

[alison]

We went to brunch with a friend of mine and her husband (they don't have children). We handed dd off to each other every 15 seconds. Walked up and down the stairs, walked around the restaurant, looked out the window, said hello to the cooks.... It's a kid friendly place with crayons and a kid's menu that the children can color!

Dd is too young for coloring, but we help her, and she likes to watch us as well as have her hand held steady. For a minute or two...

She does not like to eat, and this extends to snacks as well... I've tried cheerios (she doesn't like them),
Mum mums (she will take one bite and if we're lucky, a second), Gerber puffs (doesn't like), Gerber cheese crunchies (loves these, but will only eat one or two at a time).

Today we brought her doll, and she ended up putting her into the high chair, pretend-fed her a fry, and took off to find something else to do.

Argh! What I would do to not have to shovel food in my mouth and leave a restaurant feeling completely bloated!!!

[alison]

Abigail--why no toys in public?

[peggyfromwastate]

We pretty much avoid restaurants unless we have to go, which is often enough that the kids all behave for the most part (I have the most problems with DS-6), but it's just so hectic that I don't find it a very rewarding use of $80.

I don't bring toys because they get lost, fought over, or thrown around.

I do clean up well after my toddlers--after dinner, I just scoop up the stuff they've thrown under the table...

We don't go to white tablecloth restaurants, unless they are covered over with a paper for coloring on.



It will get better. It really will.

[SuzySunshine]

I hate to say it but until you take her, strap her into a high chair and MAKE her sit there she isn't going to know any different. Does she sit in her high chair and eat at home? That may mean some evil stares at other patrons but start somewhere kid friendly like a McDonalds.

[MrsK]

We are entering this phase too. He gets loud and throws food he doesn't like on the floor. Last weekend we removed him from a table twice during one meal. He was better each time we brought him back.

Kids change so quickly at this stage - it will get better soon. It's always worse when we're with other people, because any "bad" behavior is magnified from our perspective. DH has very low tolerance for misbehavior in public... but 15 month olds even baffle him. It gets better.

Crayons work very well for our older kids. And kiddie cups of lemonade. They might not eat their dinner well, but they'll float away on lemonade. At the early toddler stage, we don't go anywhere nice, and we sit away from other people - preferably in booths where we can close them in.

[Urowife]

You've gotten good advice - I'll just throw out there that I used to try to sit far away from other tables, but for us, it actually works better to be where the action is. DD loves to people watch, and it's much more interesting for her if there are other patrons and waitstaff to watch.

Have you tried a little travel magnadoodle for coloring? She might find that more interesting since she can scribble lightly and it still shows up (versus having to press hard with the crayon). Bonus: it doesn't make a mess. We bring tons of snacks and books for entertainment as well. But, I admit that we are really lucky because DD is really good when we go out. We started eating out with her at a pretty young age, so maybe she's used to it? My guess is that it's just luck though.

[DCJenn]

We never did the pass off and walk around thing either- because I'm mean. He was strapped into that high chair and that was it. She might not likethe snacks in the high chair because she prefers to be passed back and forth and walked around.

I'd start at the fast food place of your choice and stick to your guns. She'll likely be highly annoyed with you but it won't be the last time, either!

J.

[Michele]

I also do the strap in a high chair and that's it thing. We pass the baby until she can sit up on her own...after that, it's the highchair. My mom will occasionally walk them around outside, but they know I won't. Chick-fill-a is a good practice spot for us. We bribe with playtime if they sit well for lunch. If it's been one of those days, we let them play first and get their energy out, then sit nice to eat. I'm sure any fast-food w a play area would work the same way.

[Ladybug122]

Well, I'm learning a lot from this thread...and this isn't my first go at it! We had major issues with DS as a toddler in restaurants, so much so that we just stopped going out with him. For maybe 2 years! I know, I know, it doesn't help him get any better if we don't take him out, but honestly, I was sick and tired of spending $ to be tortured and have a completely unenjoyable expereince... That said, he is now 4 and generally behaved in restaurants. DD is a year and is the COMPLETE opposite of DS. She is laid back, mild mannered and is quiet and happy as long as she is on someone's lap (mine). We rarely go out, (scheduling and $) but this go around has been a much nicer experience.
I think the "dining experience" with children is a totally different beast than without kids. I know for myself, I had to adjust my expectations...and if we really needed/wanted a nice relaxing meal together- I got a babysitter!

[alison]

We do put dd in a high chair at home and at restaurants. She squirms out of restaurant chairs in no time. The one we have at home is like a 20-point harness, so she's in there for good!

She refuses to eat more than what it takes to survive. 2 bites are never a problem, but every bite after that is a battle. And that is why.... Gulp... I'm going to admit that we set up dh's iPad in front of her and put on the Wiggles. And we can get her to eat maybe 1/2 a jar of baby food and a bite or two of what we're eating.

Ayaiyai.

[Pollyanna]

Hey, whatever it takes to get them to eat. With our youngest I would have to pretend to feed Barney on the TV to get her to eat. We've done the passing around, walking around etc. when eating out. Sometimes dh with stroll the baby until our food arrives. I'm impressed that others could get their babies to sit. DD would sit but scream, and she could scream for hours. Seriously, for. hours. Just not worth it for us. In the end, do what works for you and your family. If the iPad helps her to eat or stay still when out or in then go for it. None of our children were great when they were younger and they now all have good table manners and could eat at a five star restaurant with no trouble. It does get better.

In a restaurant we've been know to play movie on dh's iPhone or my iPod touch. He's got Curious George, & I've got Toy Story 3.

[diggitydot]

I was totally just about to suggest showing a movie on the phone.

Each kid is different. All three of ours have been in restaurants from day one and all three of them took different routes to becoming well-behaved eaters. DS took longest, but he's fully capable of pretending to be a polite dude long enough for us to have a meal.

Just keep working at it and do whatever works best for you and your family. If that means a movie on the iPhone or iPad, so be it. The more you're out in restaurants, the more your kid sees how other peeps (and you and your DH) behave while out to eat and she'll pick up some of your good habits when she hits the mimic/pretend stage.

Each kid is different. All three of ours have been in restaurants from day one and all three of them took different routes to becoming well-behaved eaters. DS took longest, but he's fully capable of pretending to be a polite dude long enough for us to have a meal.

I totally agree with this. I'm all about learning manners (and my kids are frequently complimented on their manners), but at this age, to ME, it's more about quality of the experience FOR ME (and for other diners who just happened to decide to eat at the same time/place).