Eating out with a toddler

[alison]

So, how do you keep a toddler in a restaurant-grade high chair? Dd can climb out within seconds, and either the straps are broken entirely, or the buckle doesn't close.

Where we live now is very child-friendly when it comes to being able to get a good meal that isn't fast food. There are so many kids! I rarely see kids dd's age (mobile, young toddler).

My friends are on the fence about having kids, and I think yesterday's experience pretty much tipped them to the side of not wanting them. Dd was very well-behaved, and we had a ton of toys with us, but she wanted to get onto the table(?? Haven't seen that one before), and wanted my friend's camera. Dd also wanted to stand up in the high chair. Not on the chair part, but where she could practice log-rolling ( on the bar across the front of the high chair).

[MrsK]

You know, when BabyK was about a month old, I went to lunch with our moms group. I sat across the table from the mother of a 13mo boy. Her son threw food, screamed, climbed on the table, even tried to eat the blinds covering the window behind him. The experience was a lot like having lunch with an orangutan. Now that I have an 11mo boy, I get it. Your friends will get it too. It's a short-lived phase and it's part of the learning process. BabyK goes to day care and I've been told that at mealtimes he and the other boys (5 his age including him) play games where one will begin rattling his plate and all the rest will join in or they try to see who can screech loudest or, in the case of my baby, smear food into their hair. No, these games are not sanctioned but they are apparently universally part of the communial dining experience for toddlers. If he tries screeching at the dinner table or in a resturant, I redirect him. If he smears food in his hair or throws food, I take the food away. We practice at the dinner table every night and we practice in resturants. He sits in the high chair. (I insist that the server bring one with a working seat belt.) A few weeks ago, our server dropped a fork and BabyK burst into tears -- this was after checking our expressions to decide whether the fork dropping was scary. We redirected him and did not take him out of the chair. It was not a situation that warranted a disruption. Last weekend was the first time ever that we took him out of the chair and that was because we were not in a child-friendly resturant and did not want to disturb other diners. First we'd try to redirect. If that didn't work, then daddy would pick him up, and take him to the parking lot until he could compose himself. By the end of the meal, "Do you need to leave the table?" had become a threat.

(As an aside, MIL wants to celebrate BabyK's first birthday by having dinner at her country club "because he won't remember it anyway." Hehe, I bet she'll remember it.)

[Michele]

Not sure if this will help you, but we have this highchair for when K needed the 5pt style buckle. http://www.amazon.com/Regalo-Diner-P.../dp/B0000A1O7P. I bought ours at Baby Depot (Burlington). Russ used to get annoyed with how long it took to tighten (because he has ZERO patience when we take the kids out to eat) but I don't think it's that big of a deal to attach to the table.

[ides]

We have taken O to a restaurant about two or three times. We do let him have a favorite toy but we generally don't go out. It's stressful and expensive. If I can't cook, we'll order in.

[peggyfromwastate]

I used those same chairs Michele! Just for the twins mostly. They could not get out of them at all.

We tried to enforce the "must stay in high chair" rule with the first ones, but not this last one. We are so much more chill now. Maybe beaten down is a better exeession. Usually dh will hold her while we order and we only put her in the chair when food gets there. That's pretty much what we did with all the kids. They didn't spend time in the high chair while waiting for food at all.

Good luck Alison!! To me there's no shame in just not going to a restaurant with a toddler. Too much hassle. They can be trained when they are older too!! I do sound beaten down!!!

[Thirteen]

My friends are on the fence about having kids, and I think yesterday's experience pretty much tipped them to the side of not wanting them...

I have friends with kids, and I just always figured that "it is what it is." Your DD sounds like a perfectly normal toddler to me.

[alison]

I have friends with kids, and I just always figured that "it is what it is." Your DD sounds like a perfectly normal toddler to me.

I guess you had to be there to witness dd mashing a fry into my hair while I tried to stop her from log-rolling on the high chair bar....

[Thirteen]

Alison, is it terrible that I'm picturing this whole scene, and my response is to laugh? They way you describe it, it SOUNDS very comical. I'm sure it wasn't for you at the time, and I do apologize if I'm offending you. If anything, consider my pregnancy-addled brain: "Awww, how cute!" Forgive me.

[SuzySunshine]

allison, she's a toddler if your friends are going to let one night out with her change their minds then they have other child rearing issues. Kids are going to be kids. If you don't want to take her out then don't. If you want to take her out then do but it sounds like you either need to find a better way to restrain her or live with her antics.

As for the distraction while eating, I highly recommend giving up the fight. I know you want her to eat and I know you feel like she doesn't gain enough weight but even at that age its a control issue. If its ok with your pediatrician I would serve her what you're going to serve her and she's going to eat it or not. A and R are given the same thing for meals and the rule goes for both of them. If they start tossing it off of their tray/plate or start spitting dinner is over. Period. They can eat again at the next meal or snack time. It saves me the stress of fights at meal time and they'll eat when they're hungry, really.

Big big hugs - toddlers are not for the faint of heart!

[Tenacious_D]

With e we try to find restaurants that are loud, kid friendly...love places with fish tanks etc. We also will try to take him for a stroll outside once the order has been placed so he doesn't have to sit and wait and ruin his appetite (he's a poor eater). Some days are better than others for eating out but we choose the times and locations carefully. We went to an Indian buffet at lunch and it wax perfect because he was free, food was already done, and it wasn't too crowded but loud enough to drown him if he got cranky...plus we learned that he loves garlic naan!

Don't give up on going out, just go prepared and over time it will get better.

[alison]

Yeah, I'll figure out what I'm comfortable with, and roll with it. I wish she'd calm down and "WORK WITH ME!!!"
A--it was pretty funny.

[v-girl]

Kenny once threw a crayon in my margarita. Garrett clapped. LOL

[alison]

I didn't mean to use illegal quotes--I was just trying to indicate that I often yell that at dd.

[L.Jane]

totally off topic, but I was looking at the thread topics and DF looks over and sees them out of the corner of his eye and read "eating a toddler" We got a good giggle out of it when I told him the actual title.

[Pollyanna]

My friends are on the fence about having kids, and I think yesterday's experience pretty much tipped them to the side of not wanting them. Dd was very well-behaved, and we had a ton of toys with us, but she wanted to get onto the table(?? Haven't seen that one before), and wanted my friend's camera. Dd also wanted to stand up in the high chair. Not on the chair part, but where she could practice log-rolling ( on the bar across the front of the high chair).

OMG Alison, our children would have a blast together!! I would love to eat out with you guys!!!

PS: I had to feed dd tonight in a pile of toys while watching Barney.