Pornography: Good or Bad

[Sheherezade]

I'm with you Annie. Sadly, I think we've got ourselves in a tough position. Our society is so focused on free sexuality as an emblem of "cool" and "youth" that you can't oppose any element in it without fearing the label of "old, uptight prude". I'm a mom, I'm old, and I think grown men ogling 15 year old girls on "Girls Gone Wild" is just wrong. Maybe that's because I've got a daughter who will be 15 in 8 years -- and I don't want any creepy 50 year old after her when she's just discovering her own sexuality.

I'm not a prude -- but I wish to heck that more of the older men in our society were sometimes. :> I don't have any problem with sex between consenting adults. I guess what I don't like is what this porn suggests about the hidden fantasies of many people in our society. Yuck. The violence, the young (Barely Legal!! ) girls, the multiple partners. It makes me feel threatened because it doesn't represent the type of sexuality I endorse (and practice). That - of course - would be totally boring. But if films with monogomous caring partners are universally seen as boring, what does that say about us?

*sigh*

The funny thing is we get as many ad/spam attacks for Cialis and Viagra sales as we do porn. So are all these porn addicts having a little trouble performing as well? :>

Porn is a HARD topic for me.

When I read this, it is in the voice of Bevis (or Butthead). :!

[Stella]

You know that this thread is going to get locked and deleted now, right? I always (Stella helps) manage to do that! I promise no dirty emoticons though.

I'm so tempted for the emoticons. Maybe I'll just have to PM them to Heidi.

Anyway, I haven't read to the end of the thread yet, so return to your regularly scheduled program...

[Stella]

Wow, after I read this thread at my boyfriend's house, I found it on his computer. He swears it has nothing to do with me and that it is purely visual. He also guarantees that 99% of men "use" it. Anyway, it bothers me for reasons that are more about me than him, but still. If I had it my way, it wouldn't exist.

I want to know why and how you "allow" and even "support" it with your spouses. This is a very difficult (not "hard" ) thing for me to accept.

[alison]

I want to know why and how you "allow" and even "support" it with your spouses. This is a very difficult (not "hard" ) thing for me to accept.

I'm not saying I support it, but I think viewing porn falls in line with normal behavior. I would have to agree with your SO's percentage as far as how many men view porn. It's a visual stimulus for men, while women have other(s) that men may or at. It's whatever rocks your boat.

I think I'd have a bigger problem if my husband were an alcoholic or smoker. Really.

[Stella]

I want to know why and how you "allow" and even "support" it with your spouses. This is a very difficult (not "hard" ) thing for me to accept.

I'm not saying I support it, but I think viewing porn falls in line with normal behavior. I would have to agree with your SO's percentage as far as how many men view porn. It's a visual stimulus for men, while women have other(s) that men may or at. It's whatever rocks your boat.

I think I'd have a bigger problem if my husband were an alcoholic or smoker. Really.

Thanks for your reply. I was asking with honest curiousity, so you know. Like I said, it's mostly my own issues that make it hard to accept, so hearing that you agree with him puts it in a different light. And yes, I'd have a much bigger issue with alcoholism or anything like that.

[alison]

[quote=Miss November]

I want to know why and how you "allow" and even "support" it with your spouses. This is a very difficult (not "hard" ) thing for me to accept.

I'm not saying I support it, but I think viewing porn falls in line with normal behavior. I would have to agree with your SO's percentage as far as how many men view porn. It's a visual stimulus for men, while women have other(s) that men may or at. It's whatever rocks your boat.

I think I'd have a bigger problem if my husband were an alcoholic or smoker. Really.

Thanks for your reply. I was asking with honest curiousity, so you know. Like I said, it's mostly my own issues that make it hard to accept, so hearing that you agree with him puts it in a different light. And yes, I'd have a much bigger issue with alcoholism or anything like that.[/quote:0bf32]

No, no, I understood it as curiousity! I used to have a problem with it, and I addressed it. I came to the realization that dh and I were long distance for almost 5 years of our relationship and people get lonely! He's a sexual being, and it wasn't like he was running off with other women during the months we weren't together, so...you pick your battles, I guess.

My best friend found a few pictures of girls in bikinis in her husband's (then fiance) desk drawer. I tried to be supportive, but you know, 1) she shouldn't be in her fiance's desk in the first place, and 2) a bikini? I've seen "worse."

[Rapunzel]

So you don't have a problem with your SO fantasizing about sex with another woman? How do you know that he doesn't then wish you were another woman (ie one he's wished he were having sex with) while he is with you? How do you know this fantasizing about having sex with others stops with only the women in the pictures (if it's a behavioral pattern then why would he not fantasize about, say, a cute woman he works with and finds attractive)?

I just really believe that actions are preceded by thoughts.

[alison]

So you don't have a problem with your SO fantasizing about sex with another woman? How do you know that he doesn't then wish you were another woman (ie one he's wished he were having sex with) while he is with you? How do you know this fantasizing about having sex with others stops with only the women in the pictures (if it's a behavioral pattern then why would he not fantasize about, say, a cute woman he works with and finds attractive)?

I just really believe that actions are preceded by thoughts.

Is it really fantasizing about sex with another woman, or is it the images of sex that is the turn-on? Have you ever seen porn? The gals aren't exactly ones you'd want to bring home to mom.

[SuzySunshine]

Article from MSNBC today about kids & porn. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16981028/

I haven't posted in this thread b/c I think porn is an odd topic. Do I think it is wrong for children to be exposed to it? Absolutely. Do I think that its wrong for all adults, No - they are adults after all.

Anyway, I thought the article was interesting. I hope by the time my kids are computer saavy they've created better blockers.