Duggers expecting #19

[moonlight]

I regret that my comment may have offended anyone. Please accept this heartful retraction.

RB

I also apologized, but she still seems a bit peeved about it.

WE'RE SORRY, AGAIN!

[mommax3]

I also apologized, but she still seems a bit peeved about it.

If I am the "she" you are referring to, I'm not peeved (and wasn't peeved to start with). The first time I posted, it was because those comments have been made about Mrs. Duggar before, I said it was rude then, and I guess I was just trying to be consistent or something.

My second post was an attempt to clarify my earlier post, and I included Pollyanna's post because her thought was the same thing that was floating around in my brain and was informing my opinion. I guess I just came across as crabby, though!

Anyway, no worries and certainly no ill from me to anyone here! I am cracking up that Laker started this thread and then just sat back and watched....I probably should have followed his lead!

[JaneDoe]

There were some crude comments in this thread, but I don't think anyone advocated taking her choice to have children away.

It is unusual to have 19 children. They are putting themselves in the public arena by having their own reality show and doing spots on the Today show. It's only logical that people are going to talk about it. However, to question their choice is not the same as advocating taking their choice away. I think it is a huge stretch to draw an analogy to the abortion debate.

[mommax3]

However, to question their choice is not the same as advocating taking their choice away.

No, but to ridicule her (which is what I think Pollyanna is reacting to, and what I react to, a little bit here in this thread and LOTS elsewhere) for her choice when the right to choose the opposite way is regarded as sacrosanct is inconsistent, imo. Heck, *I* question her choice!

I feel everyone has the right to have has many kids as they want, and everyone can feel however they want to feel about them.

When there are tons of kids living in unhealthy or in an unsupportive environment...then I have a problem. Obviously this is not the case with the Duggars.

My only "issue" with this family is that I don't understand the need to take the risk. As she gets older the likelyhood of her having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby gest slimmer and slimmer. She already has 18 children, I don't understand why you would "roll the dice" with your own health and your baby's. (This not meant to affend anyone who has started a family later in life, these people aren't starting a family later due to a late marriage or unforseen issues, they are going on their 19th child in their mid 40's)

I believe she owes it to the 18 children she has to take care of herself and eventually these pregnancies may take a toll on her own health. Like I said before, have as many babies as you want...but you are working against the odds, you need to really think about what you are potentially doing to yourself, the unborn child, your husband, and the 18 children you need to be around to raise.

[moonlight]

Such a good point. I wonder if she ever thinks about how she is putting her own life at risk having babies at such a late age. The other kids and her husband would be devastated. Gezz, I'd be devastated! Of course I’m sure her doctors have told her all this.

[scrub-jay]

That is a very interesting point...I can only imagine that her doctors keep a very close eye on her in her later pregnancies. I'd say that she really does seem to have a great (and large) support network at home if she needs it.

[scarlett09]

Kris, I also didn't get the hallway comment at first either. I kept picturing that they lined the kids up down a narrow hallway and then threw a pencil or hotdog at them. And that because there were so many kids, you couldn't NOT hit one of them with either one of those objects. Oh well... ::shrugs shoulders::

I enjoy watching their show when I get the chance (DF hates the show, so I can't watch it when he's around). It's cool to see how the kids have grown since their first TV specials when there were only 14 kids. And I think their house is great!

I try not to think too much about why they have this many kids because that is their personal decision. I agree with her that each child is a gift from God and I can only hope that God will bless DF & I with children. I don't think they should subject their family to the cameras forever - perhaps when they've made enough to continue to be debt free, help their children out financially and to live comfortably into old age - they should cease with the regular show.

ITA with Moonlight & Crystal - now knowing that she is 42, I also worry about her health and the health of any additional pregnancies.

[MrsK]

42 is really not *that* old if she is otherwise in good health and has good habits.

[moonlight]

42? Ohhhh I thought she was pushing 47 or so. Still, I think 42 is pushing it when it comes to the mother's health. I think…?. That's just my judgment more than an educated statement.

Someone correct me that knows, Past 40 doesn't every pregnant woman get referred to the high risk obgyn, even if they don't have health problems???

[DCJenn]

Are you kidding? I'm 42 and let me tell you, I'd sooner remove a limb than have (acquire?) another child.

People my age are old and cranky and should not be allowed near small children.

Jenn

[moonlight]

Are you kidding? I'm 42 and let me tell you, I'd sooner remove a limb than have (acquire?) another child.

People my age are old and cranky and should not be allowed near small children.

Jenn

Jenn you are cracking me up! The reason I ask is because the only person I know IRL that had a baby (it was this summer) past age 40 (and she was 41 at delivery) had to use high risk obgyn. She was totally healthy as far as I know, but she was referred to the high risk folks. Everything with mom and baby did turn out ok. But like you said Jenn, she is done after only having this one baby. Her issue was that she just got married last year. They started trying while they were still engaged.

After 35 you're considered AMA (advanced maternal age), but no, I don't believe that 40 automatically gets you bumped to a high risk practice unless you have other health issues.

She's shown that she can have babies pretty darn easily, so I wouldn't really worry about a pregnancy taking it's toll on her. Although from the 1 or 2 specials I watched (I think it was 2, back to back, and I got sucked in), I vaugely remember something about her planning a VBAC and the doc advising against it, but them saying God would see them thru. And apparently He (or whomever) did.

They take care of the kids. They aren't on any assistance, and the only reason that they have income from a TV show is that enough people continue to watch them that they can draw income from a TV show. It's not a choice I'd make, but I'm certian I make many choices that they don't approve of. I also don't like the way the older kids are assigned a younger one, but there are choices that parents of just one or two kids make that I also don't agree with.

[DCJenn]

Too bad advanced doesn't mean the same thing at the OB that it does in high school.

Jenn

[SoonerTexan]

As one of five kids I always felt I had plenty of attention, love, and "resources" from my parents. 4 siblings never seemed like a lot--pretty normal to me. When just one of us was missing, it seemed too quiet!

Yet, when I see other families with 5 kids, I automatically think, "wow, that's a ton of kids to keep track of"

My Point: The perspective from the inside is a whole lot different.

Granted, 19 is quite a bit more than 5, though. I could see going up to 8ish kids and really not having a problem giving my kids the attention they need. (though multiples would be hard)

I do wish people were a little bit more tolerant of larger families, though. My mom got a lot of rude comments over the years.

DF is one of six children and his dad is a gynecologic oncologist--his parents say they have gotten some really good comments at work parties...