And Baby Makes 20!

[SuzySunshine]

I also agree with Kelly - what in the world would happen to that family if something happened to her in childbirth? I know that is a concern with any pregnancy but when you only have a couple of children the other spouse can soldier on - leaving a widowed husband with 19 children? I think that is irresponsible.

[Tenacious_D]

My knee-jerk reaction? Holy cow, it's a vagina, not a clown car!

My serious reaction? They seemed to be able to provide for these kids even before the show. They raise them well. It's not anyone else's business but theirs. As for the medical risks, it's been pointed out before that people take similar risks all the time, and nobody questions them. It's a very personal choice, one I wouldn't want my relatives and friends involved in, let alone a bunch of random strangers.

This was my gut reaction as well! I couldn't do it but to each their own.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

As for whether or not there is a medical risk, I assume she talked to a doctor. They told me I ha a 50-50 chance of having an even earlier preemie after D. Should I have not had more?

That's what I was going to say. Lots of women with high risk pregnancies end up with healthy pregnancies later on.

I think it's fine but 20 would definitely be too many for me!

[Chrisada]

Honestly, I'm more concerned with the drug addicts, sexual abusers, etc. having multiple children than these people. They honestly seem to be a very well rounded family. And she is way calmer with here 19 children than I am with my two children. There are countless families with way less children than them that have their older children taking care of the younger ones. Whatever.

It seems that people tend to flip out if anyone has more than three children. My very good friend is pregnant with her 7th and is only 33. My mother's reaction was that even though they were Catholic, they needed to get on BC bec. it was getting ridiculous. DH's reaction was an immediate, "Well they can afford it." I prefer DH's reaction. They can afford their children and are great parents. They have the calmest, sweetest, loving children. To each their own.

[SoonerTexan]

As one of five, I can say it is different from the outside looking in. (granted, 5 is nothing compared to 20) I've looked at other families with 5 kids before and thought, "Holy Cow, that is a lot of kids," but when you are one of the five, it doesn't seem crowded or as if there was a lack of attention.

[moonlight]

It's none of my business, but my only two issues with it are 1) She's 45 years old and wanting more babies? Come on lady! Time to hang it up and enjoy being a grandmother 2) She's putting her life at risk by trying to have kids at this age.

The other thing I wonder about but not really worry about because I don't know the woman... How depressed is she going to be when she can't have anymore? She seems to live for getting pregnant. I know the feeling of wanting a baby more than anything. She hasn't filled the void and I wonder how heart broken she will be when its really over.

[diggitydot]

I don't judge them for their ability to field an entire NCAA football roster; I judge them because they choose not to take in even one of the many kids in desperate need of stable families. It's not fair, but there it is.

Personally, that family creeps me out. I'm not sure why, entirely. They just make my skin crawl everytime they're on my TV.

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

My knee-jerk reaction? Holy cow, it's a vagina, not a clown car!

I just laughed so loud that the damn yippy dog next door is barking again (I blame you for this -- he just quieted down)!

As for my reaction, I'm sorry, but that is too many. I would like to pretend that I'm not super-judgey about people who have tons of kids...and to be fair, I don't get that judgey when we're talking five or six kids (even though, holy cow, that would be way too many for me after dealing with five children under 7 for a few days a couple weeks ago at my BIL's wedding. I have discovered that I really really REALLY lack patience). BUT, 20? REALLY?? How is that necessary? I agree that there are worse offenders in terms of not taking care of their children, but my god -- we're not rabbits, people!

[MissCrabette]

From my understanding, they didn't have all these kids because she had a feeling of wanting one more baby more than anything. They say that they will welcome any baby that God blesses them with. That's different to me from wanting to have a house full of kids. I also don't think it's fair to fault them for not adopting considering that the vast majority of people don't do it. Why should she be held to a different standard?

Personally, I can't see myself having that many kids (and I also find it a tiny bit odd), but she's certainly entitled to live her life any way she sees fit as long as she's not hurting anyone.

[Pollyanna]

From my understanding, they didn't have all these kids because she had a feeling of wanting one more baby more than anything. They say that they will welcome any baby that God blesses them with. That's different to me than wanting to have a house full of kids.

Yes, they have completely given themselves over to the Lord and allow him to work in their lives. The Duggar's have a calm about them that comes with allowing the Lord to work in your life with complete and utter trust. To truly give yourself over takes more trust and belief than most people can fathom, but at the other side is a gift of calm and beauty that is not to be believed. I think the Duggar's are a beautiful witness to living that type of life.

[SoonerTexan]

From my understanding, they didn't have all these kids because she had a feeling of wanting one more baby more than anything. They say that they will welcome any baby that God blesses them with. That's different to me from wanting to have a house full of kids. I also don't think it's fair to fault them for not adopting considering that the vast majority of people don't do it. Why should she be held to a different standard?

This

[v-girl]

Honestly, I'm more concerned with the drug addicts, sexual abusers, etc. having multiple children than these people. They honestly seem to be a very well rounded family. And she is way calmer with here 19 children than I am with my two children. There are countless families with way less children than them that have their older children taking care of the younger ones. Whatever.

It seems that people tend to flip out if anyone has more than three children. My very good friend is pregnant with her 7th and is only 33. My mother's reaction was that even though they were Catholic, they needed to get on BC bec. it was getting ridiculous. DH's reaction was an immediate, "Well they can afford it." I prefer DH's reaction. They can afford their children and are great parents. They have the calmest, sweetest, loving children. To each their own.

This.

[diggitydot]

I also don't think it's fair to fault them for not adopting considering that the vast majority of people don't do it. Why should she be held to a different standard?

I already conceded that I wasn't being fair. Most of the people I know with large families (5+ kids) also take in foster kids or adopt. One friend from high school was fortunate that her foster parents were wonderful people who she still considers "mom and dad" to this day. This probably skews my view.

I don't necessarily take issue with big families. There's just something about *this* family that seriously bugs me.

[Thirteen]

I would need anti-anxiety meds.
(Heck, I only have one, and I probably should have anti-anxiety meds...)

I have a friend who's the oldest of 5 (not ST) and their family dynamic is beautiful and calm.
A former roommate is one of 12: 6
biological and 6 adopted. They can afford it, and also have an air of peace around them.

I'm one of 3, and our house seemed like barely organized chaos.
To each their own, I guess.


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[MissCrabette]

diggitydot, I wasn't singling you out. I know there were others who mentioned that there are already numerous kids in need of adoption, and it's a common criticism of the Duggars. I just can't get riled up over this issue for some reason, which is odd because I'm usually quite opinionated. It's not for me, but whatever.