And Baby Makes 20!

[GrayMatterWife]

Having and raising children, being a SAHM, these can all be wonderful things. My problem with it is the "choice" aspect. Does Michelle Duggar have a choice? If she wanted to to law school or go to med school, could she? Would that be acceptable in her religion? Or are women just supposed to be barefoot and pregnant in her religion? What if she had decided that she really loved God, but she never wanted to have any children at all? Would that have been acceptable? Would her accomplishments as a lawyer or a doctor have been given the same amount of respect as those who have been mothers in her religion? I think SAHMdom can be a great privilege. But is it the pinnacle of womanhood? I don't think so. A uterus does not a woman make. I suppose maybe I'm just a little too second wave for Michelle Duggar...

But how is this any of anyone else's business? I guess I don't understand why she bugs so many people and draws ire and judgment. She's doesn't owe it to anyone else to live her life as a woman in a way that makes other people feel as though she has accomplished "more" by their standards. So what if her religion taught her that she had no choice? She has right to believe this and live her life accordingly, even if everyone else thinks it's stupid or backwards or whatever. People tend to think that if people "like her" would just get "more educated" or be "more worldly", then they would wake up and realize how unfulfilled they really are as women. I suppose the argument then goes: if Michelle was more "aware" of her "real" potential, she would act accordingly and then be deeply fulfilled and happy like the rest of us. That would be the rest of us, who are on the educational treadmill and in workplace rat-race, with our priorities torn between two (or more) fronts, wondering why it is that the promises of having-it-all don't give us the sense of centeredness and completeness that we crave.

Would I want to be a fringe fundamentalist Christian with twenty zillion kids and a $1000 weekly grocery bill? Would I want to constantly worry that my uterus was about to fall into my kneecaps, and have nipples aligned horizontally with my naval? No. My background, upbringing, culture, religious background, and other circumstances make this seem very unappealing to me. But, on the other hand, maybe her background has allowed her to know something I don't. But I am not going to assume that she's too uneducated or unworldly to have made an informed decision. Frankly, anyone who can successfully handle a business (being on a TV show) and 20 kids without becoming depressing or psychotic has some knowledge (and certainly a sense of purpose and calm) that I just don't, despite all my degrees and jobs, etc.

wow. that's the first time (I think) I wholeheartedly agree with Abigail in the Debates forum!

[SoonerTexan]

Interestingly, Michelle Duggar wasn't raised in her current religion...she chose it as a teen.

[diggitydot]

But how is this any of anyone else's business?

Because they're broadcasting it on a reality TV program? For the same reason people give a ration of shit to the Kardashians, Gosslins, etc.? When you choose to put your life on TV, people will judge you.

Even though I'm completely non-religious and all sorts of 2nd wave lib, I don't have any problems with the mom being an at-home parent or that she feels some sort of religious calling for her actions. For me, the biggest issue is the vibe I get off them. It's a tad too Stepford-meets-Children-of-the-Corn for my comfort level and creeps me the fuck out.

[Ladybug]

wow. that's the first time (I think) I wholeheartedly agree with Abigail in the Debates forum!

I dunno. I bet they spend more than $1000/wk on groceries.

[corn poffi]

Yeah, she chose to be on TV, so she opened the floodgates to the haters. If she lived a "normal" life and didn't whore her family out, I'd be in the "let her be" camp. As I said before, I don't really care either way about the giant family, but I do have a problem with reality tv. If being a SAHM makes her happy, more power to her. I don't think anybody is more or less fulfilled whether they do or don't have kids or if they work or stay at home.

[Pollyanna]

I hardly think she is "whoring her family out". They consider the show to be a ministry and I think it is effective. I don't get the impression that Michele Duggar cares what people think about her and I also don't find her particularly submissive, lol. Her religion is Baptist (she just mentioned that on a recent show). They used to go to a mega church but now several families get together and have a "home church" type set up. I found it really interesting on a recent episode they had a college entrance tutor and guide helping several of the older children. Also, many of the older children are volunteer firefighters/EMTs.

[corn poffi]

I'd believe the whole ministry thing more if the show wasn't on TLC. If she was on a religious channel or even PBS, I'd buy it. But TLC loves exploiting people. That channel should be renamed...it's hardly educational.

[MissCrabette]

I'd believe the whole ministry thing more if the show wasn't on TLC. If she was on a religious channel or even PBS, I'd buy it. But TLC loves exploiting people. That channel should be renamed...it's hardly educational.

I'm not even close to being religious, but that comment jumped out at me. Who seriously watches religious channels if not people who are already religious? Isn't the whole point of ministry to spread one's faith? What better way to do it than through a mainstream channel and to people who aren't already set in their faith?

True, they opened themselves up to judgment by sharing so much of their lives. I still think it's nobody's business but theirs how they choose to live their lives as long as they're not hurting anyone. And it's not our job to tell her, "No, you're not happy. Let me teach you how to be happy. You're doing it all wrong."

[corn poffi]

If it was all for the sake of ministry, why does it have to air on a for-profit station? Wouldn't she just be content spreading the word without getting paid?

I'd bet the majority of the people who watch this show don't do it for spiritual religions. They do it to watch a crazy big family and make fun of their antics. Honestly, anybody who doesn't want to be preached to is benefiting from any of the "ministry" on their show.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Would I want to be a fringe fundamentalist Christian with twenty zillion kids and a $1000 weekly grocery bill? Would I want to constantly worry that my uterus was about to fall into my kneecaps, and have nipples aligned horizontally with my naval? No. My background, upbringing, culture, religious background, and other circumstances make this seem very unappealing to me. But, on the other hand, maybe her background has allowed her to know something I don't. But I am not going to assume that she's too uneducated or unworldly to have made an informed decision. Frankly, anyone who can successfully handle a business (being on a TV show) and 20 kids without becoming depressing or psychotic has some knowledge (and certainly a sense of purpose and calm) that I just don't, despite all my degrees and jobs, etc.

Great points!

Not to mention that she's certainly not sheltered. She's been to NYC, DC, to Central America etc. several times (with all the kids in tow). Their are many families who never expose their kids to those kinds of places (for myriad reasons) that the Duggar kids are exposed to so it's not like they don't know that other options exist in terms of religion, way of life, etc.

[Pollyanna]

So now that we are at the point of beating a dead horse, what to you all think of...Sister Wives? Please visit the Sister Wives thread to give your opinion.

[SuzySunshine]

Did you guys see this?

http://www.people.com/people/article...552173,00.html

Agree with them or not, very sad especially since they now have to live that out in public.

[Pollyanna]

[lovelight]

That is sad to hear...