Bad day at work means pay cut

[Phoebe]

I know your scared, but something has to give. Your boss has the worst leadership skills I have ever heard of. Can’t you put your loans in deferment until you find something else? Otherwise, tell her you are working from home. Then you won’t be doing PAs, filling in for the office manager, therapy or anything else to slow down report writing progress. That woman needs a rude awakening.


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[PrincessFiona]

Thomas wants me to keep working for her until I find something else. It’s ridiculous. And I’m torn. I feel sad. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome. There is nothing flexible for me on the job market. I’ll have to do retail work with my two master’s degrees until something opens up. I’ve been looking for a job for over a year. Will I even be marketable in my field after working at Target for a year? It will look like there is something wrong with me. 😢

Kris


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[rufflesanddots]

It is really hard for find something when you're exhausted, desperate, and working for someone like H when also running the household. I wish T would reconsider and see the value in your happiness and having some room to breathe.

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[alotofyarn]

Thomas isn't the one working for a crazy woman all day or figuring out how to get the kids everywhere, is he? I'm all for coming to agreements with your spouse and not doing things that he doesn't want you to do, but I really think you're at a point where you need to push back and tell him that this just isn't working out. You can't keep doing this to yourself.

And to me, working at Target might be a bonus, that you're obviously a hard worker and will do whatever work necessary, that you don't think you're too good to do anything.

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[JDAZ11]

I think you might be able to argue this (completely altering your pay structure) was a constructive discharge (essentially - maybe, who knows- paying you sub-minimum wage is like forcing you to quit )for unemployment purposes. Just something to think about. Perhaps you’d be able to collect unemployment while you find a new job. (I’m sure she’d fight it, but she’d have to take a day off of work and argue her case - it would suck for her. Lol).


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[PrincessFiona]

Thomas and my mom are arguing I should stay on, accept the new terms (which I don’t even know) until I have something else. I’m dumbfounded that people think I should accept repeated abuse. Thomas just thinks going to work for someplace like Target will make me less desirable should a professional job come up. Also, he says I’ll feel terrible about myself.

The more I think about this, the angrier I get. I have carried the report writing for the office for years. She does nothing. I spoke with our former office manager who exclaimed “enough of the abuse” and insisted I ask holly to calculate her efficiency. She told me to run not walk away.

Kris


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[rufflesanddots]

You don't even have to put Target on your resume, though. I agree--run, don't walk. You can explain the break in employment.

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[PrincessFiona]

You don't even have to put Target on your resume, though. I agree--run, don't walk. You can explain the break in employment.

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How do I deal with not getting a reference from my boss? This has never happened to me before.


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[SoonerTexan]

How do I deal with not getting a reference from my boss? This has never happened to me before.


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I'm not sure exactly what the best way to go about it would be, but I wouldn't let it stop you from leaving. She seemed mercurial enough that I wouldn't count on her as a reference anyway

[fluffhead]

She's lowballing you, and by not calling her bluff you're doing yourself a disservice. If things are as you say they are, then she can't run the office without you, and she knows it. So make her an offer she can't refuse. Quote a high per-report rate, and negotiate down as needed. If you can't be an employee there, it's certainly better than quitting outright!

[rufflesanddots]

I agree with ST. I wouldn't trust her as a reference anyway.

Do you know her reputation in the community? If it's bad, you may be able to say you left for ethical reasons, or that the position changed and it was no longer a good fit. Maybe you could offer the old office manager as a reference, explaining that she's familiar with your work.

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[mommax3]

I agree with fluff. Just think, you could work from home, be available for your kids, and look for something else while still bringing in some $$. Kris, I know you know this, but neither Thomas nor your mom get the final say on this.


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[SoonerTexan]

My mom was reminding me about this the other night--when she left her job it was a cluster too. She had gotten a counseling job under supervision of a very well known Catholic therapist. She had always been a fan of his work and was honored when he wanted to take her on. As it turns out, while the man is actually has written some wonderful stuff, he is personally an ass. She was there a few years, but it devolved quickly. Paychecks often wouldn't come and the structure of the entire business was off (like how it was actually structured legally). He was just as abrasive and manipulative as your boss (man, is this a thing in the therapy world or something??) She was miserable for awhile, but was in a similar situation as you--lots of kids in college/financial stress/pressure from my dad to keep that income stream.

She eventually became extremely uncomfortable with how he was running his business and how many clients he wanted her to take on. She couldn't handle it and be the mom she wanted to be and the workload was just too much professionally as well. He wanted to up her to 40-45 clients/week (which I understand is on the very high end for a therapist) and she balked. He said, "Fine, you can stay with a lower number, but I'm taking a bigger cut of your hourly rate." And then he went on Catholic radio that night and did a show on "People who overreact." Seriously. You cant make this shit up.

That was her breaking point. She quit and was a freakin' mess over it for awhile. She was afraid he would retaliate or she wouldn't be able to build her own business. Years later, she is doing fine. She's kept her client load at a very low level she is comfortable with and the dude is still sending her referrals (mostly of people that seem a little on the extra crazy side, isn't that sweet of him!)

I'm just telling you this as a data point that it can get better when you leave. Aren't you fully licensed now? What can you do on your own?

[PrincessFiona]

I’m debating the report writing from Home. The wrinkle is that she’d expect me to come into the office and see patients in the afternoon and I’d still have to hire her husband to drive the kids home for me. Thomas is crazy. He wants me to offer Wednesday evenings and Saturdays and write reports.

I don’t know what I’ll do. I am 2 classes away from being fully licensed. I do not have money to take the two classes. That’s the reality right now. Just keeping it real. I can afford a pay cut because Thomas will absorb what he can. I have to work though.

I cannot further work with her though without laying it all on the line. I won’t be made out to be incompetent without fighting back. She will not like what I have to say even if I say it nicely. I may be out of a job regardless.

I have literally paced all day.


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[MarissaNicole]

No advice but I’m glad to see that your not willing to keep taking her abuse.

Just do what’s right for you and DON’T look back.


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