Missing kc girl

[scrub-jay]

Kris, I think you are amazing for sharing your experience and emotions regardless of this horrible situation. ((big hugs))

[diggitydot]

Kris - You are amazing and I value your views, particularly in this type of situation. I'm a cynic and my default with most everyone is "guilt" unless I can see their body language while they're being asked direct questions. I appreciate your perspective and it makes me reevaluate my own, which I often times desperately need.

Big hug Kris. This type of thing is so hard to hear about just as a parent. I can't imagine how you are feeling. Or how your parents dealt with what your family went through.

[PrincessFiona]

Thanks guys. This is something I've only now been able to open up about as an adult...and only in recent months thanks to therapy and diggitydot. It's just been such a painful topic...and I was always afraid no one would believe me or take me seriously. I don't know where that comes from. I don't know how my parent dealt with it because they refused to allow me to talk about it or discuss it. The effects on my own life have been so pervasive. I've struggled so much ... for my whole life ... even though I wasn't missing for months or years ... I still vividly remember what happened and due to the lack of family support, I still manage it on my own....

Dont' want to make it all about me though ....

Kris

[diggitydot]

Dont' want to make it all about me though

Whenever you're ready for it to be about you, we are here to listen and support. Anytime.

[HouseofWool]

Whenever you're ready for it to be about you, we are here to listen and support. Anytime.

This. My guess is that your parents' avoidance of the aftermath is a huge part of why it is so difficult. As always you are incredibly strong.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

[MrsK]

Kris, when my cousin was a college student, she was abducted and escaped. It's been over 30 years since and still no one talks about it. I cannot imagine how scarey it was for you and your family.

[Thirteen]

I'm so sorry, Kris! I think talking about it would be so great, and help you address the whole experience in a very real way. It's unfortunate that you weren't able to speak about this before. I'm hoping for peace and healing for you in this.

[MissCrabette]

Kris, I'm really sorry. I had no idea the whole thing was shoved under the carpet. We're here if you ever want to talk about it.

[Cinderella]

I've seen testimony from three witnesses in the neighborhood who all describe the same calm man walking with a baby in the cold at midnight and 4am. It was 4 in the morning with 45 degree weather when a guy in a t-shirt is walking with a baby in a diaper. The guy who saw it thought it was strange the baby didn't have a coat on. He was on his motorcycle and got a good look at them and believes it was baby Lisa. The other two witnesses were a couple in their house that saw the same man with the same baby in a diaper. They thought the same thing as the other man about what is this guy doing out there with a naked baby in the cold. They reported it to the police. They were the first sighting of the missing baby and they live on the same street as the Irwin's three houses away. They saw the man with the naked baby at 12:15 am. The man on the motorcycle that got the real good look at the man with the naked baby at 4am was just 3 miles away from the Irwin house.

The police also found baby wipes and diapers in an abandoned house in the neighborhood and said it may or may not be connected to the missing baby Lisa Irwin.

I think the police have to cover all their bases. I also think it was good of the parents to get a lawyer. When the police become accusatory it's time to shut up and lawyer up. Personally, I believe she was abducted and since it's been three weeks already they may never find her now.

[PrincessFiona]

Wow. I certainly appreciate your support. I feel weird about hijacking this thread.

I do believe that part of the problem is that my family refused to deal with it. It wasn't just that they didn't talk about it ... I wasn't allowed to talk about it. I sort of lost it after high school and we all HAD to sit down and talk about it. Then, they made it all about them AND my dad blamed me for not "screaming loud enough to wake him" even though I didn't wake up until we were on the street and I was dazed and confused. The Baby Lisa thing is a HUGE trigger for me....seen in the middle of the night being carried down the street by a man. oofta.
The man who abducted me returned to our home twice to try to take me again. My parents moved me to stay with my grandmother several states away and then my dad made a job transfer to Germany in order for us to get ... away. I have always felt that I couldn't talk about it. I have felt ashamed about what happened to me, and I have been afraid that no one would believe me. It's a very weird experience to go through something like this and have your family NOT talk about it with you ever. It's very invalidating. Also, I've always felt very afraid that this individual would come back, and deep in my heart, I still feel this ... which is why I"ll probably delete this post. I know is cra cra of me, but ... yup. When I see a car like this persons, I still flip out. I can't drive on country roads at night or I start crying hysterically because I get so afraid (and I'm 41). I also don't let my children sleep in their own rooms until they are ~7. No joke. All of my kids have roomed in with us until this age...and yes, Aidan sleeps on a mattress next to our bed and Zoe sleeps in the bed with us.

When I was going through the cancer treatments during my pregnancy, my dad spoke with the reporter doing the story and for some reason ... you know, he doesn't talk to ME about it ... he told this report about it. She called the police dept. in that city/State and wanted to use this information in the story. I pretty much told her to get bent. No way I would identify myself so that my children could be at risk if that person ever read about it ... which is of course so unlikely that it's ridiculous for me to worry about. At the same time, I'm debated posting this. What if, what if, what if....

[scrub-jay]

I am really proud of how far you must have come to even feel comfortable sharing this with us. I can't even fathom how traumatizing it must have been for you and I completely understand how it has shaped your parenting. You have experienced the thing of nightmares and of course you are going to protect your children from it. I disagree with how your parents handled the event, but proud of how you are coping as an adult. ((big hugs))

[MarissaNicole]

Kris, your worries are not ridiculous. I cannot possibly comprehend what you've gone through, but it is just one of the many things you have overcome to be the amazing strong woman, wife, and mother that you are!

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Wow, I just read all of this -- Kris, I am so sorry that happened to you. You should never feel like you have to hide this about yourself or be afraid to talk about it. I know there's nothing that we can do to change it or fix it, but I hope you know that if you ever need an outlet other than the ones you have chosen, there is an entire board ready to listen or do whatever else you need.

[diggitydot]

Your fears are all valid and normal. But don't delete your posts. Let us support you as you've supported so many of us.