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How to fend off nurse 'dawkter hunter'?

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  • How to fend off nurse 'dawkter hunter'?

    This post was from my blog on iMSN. But, Miss crabette kindly told me to repost on forum to humour you ladies =)



    So here i am.. lonely on a wednesday night, eating my aglio olio alone because DH is on his third fellowship interview at Miami. I was doing some chores then a story that Dh told me a while ago struck me. I decided to share with you guys, since i don't think anyone else in the non-medical world gets it. Hell, they would think i am a psycopath. =)

    Anyway, here goes. True story. There was this couple - guy is an ortho fellow on his last year on fellowship working on an elective month somewhere away from his hometown. The wife was back at their home. There was this nurse (lets call her dawkter hunter) who was eyeing on the hot and soon-to-be earning big bucks ortho. She often asks the ortho out for drinks (he rejects), she makes food, lunches and dinner for the ortho dude. She goes to the ortho's rented place and cleans up for him, does laundry and wash dishes. So, ortho guy told his wife about it, cause i think he doesn't know how to deal with the nurse.

    Next day, wife drove 6 hours from hometown to the rented place. Went to the hospital where ortho works, found out who the nurse was and stare her straight in the eye. Wife said: "I don't care what your intentions are, i know you are after my husband because he is a final year fellow, he is married TO ME, We have been together since he was wayy before med school and i have been through every single step of being a specialist - med school, exams, application, residency, boards, fellowship. You don't try to steal him away when he is on his final year of all this shit. Please stop all endeavours or else i will kill your dog in front of you" DEATH STARE.

    Wife didn't know the nurse has a dog or not, she just said that out of anger and frustration. Lucky for her, the nurse had a dog IRL. So, after the threat, dawkter hunter nurse backed off and didn't attempt anything funny anymore.

    So, here i am while DH is on fellowship travels, i was thinking if a nurse tried to pull that on DH, i would do the same too. I have been with DH for 9 years now, since med school and have been through the agony of every single step. Now, we are penny pinching for 10-13 potential interviews and are budgeting to spend around 5-7k for travelling. Currently, i am like the secretary and know-it-all for his schedules. I arrange his interviews, buy air-tickets, book hotel rooms, pack his travel items, iron and dry clean suits...... while DH is doing his residency and clinical research. No dawkter hunter nurse who has not been through all that will steal my DH when he is in his final year. Period.
    Match Day was the happiest day of my life... followed by my wedding day...

  • #2
    That is really funny! I am assuming nurse drhunter was single....cuz I do make lunches and try and look out for DH's co resident, but he is a single guy and one of DH's best friends.

    Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk
    Loving wife of neurosurgeon

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    • #3
      yes. The doctor hunter nurse is single. Well, in your case it is justified because you are married and you are just doing a favor for his best friend. The nurse was obviously hitting on the ortho fellow despite knowing that he is married. I think that is NOT acceptable.
      Match Day was the happiest day of my life... followed by my wedding day...

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      • #4
        There are always nurses that give nurses a bad name as being dawkter hunters. Dawkters that don't speak up and stop things themselves are just as much a part of the problem. Good for the wife for standing up for their family but she shouldn't have had to. No WAY would my husband be off of the hook if he let someone else come to his apartment and cook and clean.
        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          Maybe it's just me, but I expect and trust my husband to honor me, our vows, and our family. Was the nurse breaking and entering his house to clean for him? I doubt it. There are a lot of elements at play here and I just can't jump to one side or the other without knowing more. I would expect my DH to set appropriate boundaries (even if I had to coach him on how) and not rely me to come set the boundaries for him. I guess I have more faith in my husband as an individual, he knows that I hold him accountable. He is not a bauble that can be "stolen," he is a grown adult who makes decisions as such. It takes two to tango after all.

          ETA: Crossposted with SS.
          Wife to PGY4 & Mother of 3.

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          • #6
            =) This was meant to be a funny post.... but yah.. the husband should be responsible to a certain extend too. He is also an adult and a professional one may i add! So, he should be able to tell the nurse no and firmly mention that he is married. But, you know.. some guys are just blunt or what?? Or maybe too nice to offend anyone? I have no idea.. but when DH told me this, he was laughing all the way and also assured me that it will never happen to us (like he knows how to set those boundaries).
            Match Day was the happiest day of my life... followed by my wedding day...

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            • #7
              Oh, I know it was meant as a funny story, and it kind of was, but it was also sad and embarrassing for the wife.

              I think there's a big difference between being too nice and clueless and doing what this guy did. The nurse most likely had keys to his place, and I'll venture to guess she didn't steal them from the fellow. I think it's odd that he got so close to someone over the period of a month (or less since he was still there) as to hand her his keys. Something's fishy there.
              Cristina
              IM PGY-2

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              • #8
                I think the fellow in this situation has way more culpability than the Dawkter Hunter Nurse! It is funny, but sad too.
                Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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                • #9
                  I thought it was funny. And I'm not gonna lie my DH is horrible about setting boundaries, not because he doesn't love me or doesn't take his vows seriously but because he is totally friggin clueless as to when the ladies are interested in him. It's my job to clue him in, I probably wouldn't have taken it out on the nurse.

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                  • #10
                    well... some guys are just clueless. The nurse would have said: oh i am picking up some groceries, do you want anything? I could drop them at your place if you don't mind handing me the keys. Then she could have proceed cleaning up the house, loading the dishwasher etc... Ortho dude probably thought she was just being extra nice. Until he told his wife about it and his wife got upset. Ah well..
                    Match Day was the happiest day of my life... followed by my wedding day...

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                    • #11
                      Sometimes men are so clueless...

                      There was a girl in my DH's med school class...she was SUPER nice to me when she met me, showed interest, remembered little details about me that my husband had told her (like what law school I went to (out of state)...and I hated her on sight. My DH could NOT understand it for the life of him, insisted that she was such a sweet person and that she had been nothing but nice to me. I told him I thought she was bad news and that I didn't really feel comfortable with him hanging around her.

                      Turns out she had a huge thing for my DH... andwhen he couldn't be woed away (we weren't even engaged at the time, so I think she thought she had a shot even though we'd been together for three years at that point), she went after another guy in his class, who also had a girlfriend, and slept with him. She did this with three separate guys until there were only a handful of women who would even speak to her. By the end of med school she had quite a reputation (and very few friends).

                      That being said, I would hope that my DH would see the difference between someone showing inappropriate interest and basically playing his wife when I wasn't around! Haha! Can't say I blame that wife...although, I'm a little terrified of her just HEARING story!

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                      • #12
                        I don't find it funny at all. I imagine that wife really wanted to kill that nurse, her DH, and the nurse's dog. After all I've sacraficed for my husband's "nomadic medical journey" and the waiting and building my life around his training, I'd castrate him if he even came close to letting another woman think she could take my place.
                        Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                        • #13
                          It's more sad than funny I think. It sounds like the wife had been driven a little loco by the training process (the dog comment) and I can sympathize with that

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                          • #14
                            She definitely told that girl! Definitely over stepping. But I also agree he should have set some boundaries waaaaay before she got to the point of having to drive down and put her in her place!

                            A nurse made my husband cupcakes once, and I almost got in my car... Then I posted it on here, and I believe I ended up being put in my place that day. lol
                            -Mommy, FM wife, Disney Planner and Hoosier

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                            • #15
                              Never a problem I had.

                              But then, I pole-dance and bake like Martha Stewart minus the pretentiousness.

                              So f**k you, tramp, if you think you could even compete.

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