How to fend off nurse 'dawkter hunter'?

[GrayMatterWife]

Us, too! Even though we live in different states! Our roots are dug in the same soil and we have grown into a big, huge tangled mess. Not sure if it's the best approach, but we are definitely two halves of one person.

I agree that it would be weird if DH showed up with food in hand at my office. But, then, my job does not take over my life in the way his does. I've just had to come to embrace his job and build my life around it. But I don't feel a loss for that.

[Chrisada]

Yes. I think it's more than ok to show up at the hospital when your DH practically lives there. And kids bring in something
different. My DH misses our kids and me, and we miss him. He loves introducing us to his colleagues and seeing us if just for a minute. We hang out in the on call room out of the way.

[diggitydot]

We've never hung out in the call rooms, but it's pretty common at DH's program. Hell, some previous residents have even had their spouse and kids (really little kiddos) stay the night in the call room during overnight shifts prior to the newest work hour rules. The residency is totally cool with it. Yes, it's a freakishly family-friendly program.

[spotty_dog]

DH encouraged us to visit, but I felt uncomfortable with it so I probably went 3 times in 3 years of residency. I'm slightly more at ease here in our quiet little hospital with nurses I know, but I still only go with good reason/if asked. I'm petrified of being in the way or being an annoyance to people doing their jobs or making patients uncomfortable by sightseeing around their medical issue.

All three are damaged goods. The nurse is trolling the waters, the dr is passively accepting her moves and thinks he's not at fault because he's not actively doing anything to encourage it.. but he's not discouraging it. The wife is broken and insecure. The marriage is a mess and probably going down soon, nurse aside.

This. I feel sorry for everyone in the story. And also for the nursing profession for being painted with this horrid stereotype (does anyone seriously think there's a large contingent of people who do years of training and clinical work for an underappreciated caregiving profession just so they can land dem a dawkter?) and for the physician profession for being painted as a bunch of passive "catches".

My philosophy is that those who deserve trust give it freely. I'm not completely naive and I know that marriages fail, but I will continue to trust my husband until I have evidence not to, and I behave in a trustworthy manner.

[SuzySunshine]

Yes. I think it's more than ok to show up at the hospital when your DH practically lives there. And kids bring in something
different. My DH misses our kids and me, and we miss him. He loves introducing us to his colleagues and seeing us if just for a minute. We hang out in the on call room out of the way.

This exactly - if it was a 9-5 job I wouldn't expect visits either. DH would come have lunch with me once in a while but I was leaving my office for lunch anyway and since that was the only time we'd see each other I saw no issue with it.

[Auspicious]

I've never been to visit my husband at work. We did swing by to pick something up from his office after hours once during residency, so I did at least see the place, but I've never set foot in his fellowship or attending hospitals.

I attribute that to them not having overnight call (I.e. that there is even such thing as "after hours").

I have met the people at the picnics and holiday parties etc.

I read my husband the OP and was just glad he had the same reaction I did, which was his radar went on when the nurse was bringing him lunches and his eyes bugged out when she was inside the rental apartment.