Any advice?

[HouseofWool]

Remember no matter what happens you will need/want him to be able to earn a physcian's income!!!

Oh good lord yes.yes.yes. A thousand times yes.

[Curegirl]

I don't have anything to add because the others seem to have covered everything but wanted to send you a hug. I'm so, so sorry you're dealing with this.

[birdhouse]

Good advise Houseofwool. My sister is actually a psychiatrist and did one session with us in which she concluded that he needs his own individual therapy. This is what prompted me to get my own. I have an addiction to the attention of men. While I do not ever sleep with them or even really see tham, it is the attention that I crave. It has gotten progressively worse during residency because he doesn't have much time to give to me. Overall, I am working through this in therapy and I really need to find myself. That is the only reason that I think a separation may not be a bad idea. I have put so much energy and attention into being a mom and a wife that I have lost what truly makes me happy. I can not honestly tell you what makes me happy anymore.
I decided that when he gets home, I am just going to continue to focus on myself, packing, and the kids. I am going to look into some marriage counseling, but I really have to get myself better first. I know that he has resentment against my actions and really believe this inappropriate relationship with the woman was kind of to make me see what it feels like. It was very passive aggressive and it backfired on him since she did not share the same interest.

Thanks again for the tele-conferance idea.

[moonlight]

I'm so impressed with your level of self reflection given the storm you are in right now. Keep seeking help, talking with him, and reminde yourself that you are a person that deserves happiness.