Husband Looking to Start Med School Wife Needs Help!

My DH just started medical school. You guys are scaring me!

Has anyone here been through Dental School with their spouse? I would be interested in hearing how that went. Thanks for all of the great information thus far, keep the honesty coming!

I don't think we have any dental spouses here, but from what I've heard from other people, it would be a more family-friendy route. Definitely would take fewer years to complete -- no residency, per se, and if he did do additional training it would be less time and toll on family.

[Vanquisher]

I don't know if you have to do a residency for dental school or not, but I know they ahve a lot of subspecialties that require one.

Over 91% of dental students graduate with debt—owing an average of more than $141,521. - ADA.org

My dh definitely wasn't interested in teeth or anything surrounding them, but I would look into it a lot more heavily before jumping in with both feet.

There is a residency for pediatric denistry and then also other specialties like endodontics (sp?, root canal stuff), orthodontics (might be longer). I think most are a year or two and a lot of dental school grads go on to practice without one. A few of our friends went to dental school and did not do a residency.

[Laker]

A friend of mine from College had a dad that was an endodontist and they owned their own lake

Plus they had pictures of themselves with the Pope all over their mansion. Not a bad gig. I might have to quit the law and go back to school.

My DH just started medical school. You guys are scaring me!

You shouldn't be scared, just educated.

Dental school sounds like a better option for our particular needs however H is still thinking Med school. He is also searching for an answer and we have to get one and soon.

I don't know what to say I agree it’s better to be educated and somehow figure out how the basic day to day stuff will go, at least feel somewhat prepared. I know there will be disappointments along the way and think that will be hard enough.

I want to absorb as much info that’s out there and I feel like I'm in the best place possible, as I can learn through those who have gone before me.

Just a side note we are anticipating the 1year anniversary December 7, of our daughters heart surgery. We are anxious to see how everything healed and pray and trust that she will need no more surgery.

Thanks Again!

Though I keep my location and my specific job on the down-low , I can speak to dentistry.

Comparing dentistry and medicine in terms of family life is like comparing apples and oranges. As others have said, dentistry wins hands down (in general) for flexibility and family-oriented lifestyle.

Unless someone specializes, the dental school experience will be four years. Endodontists, prosthodontists, pediatric dentists, etc. have residencies - ~ 3 years each.

The money is good but it depends on how well you invest long-term and which dental specialties (if any) you compare to medicine. If you're not doing a residency, your first job out could be $90 - $100K plus loan forgiveness at a public health dental center. Meanwhile, the medical resident is in residency making $40 K with no forgiveness. Or a general dentist could start as an associate for over $100K. The specialists, though they do residency can have median salaries of $500 K (endo for instance). But do you want to do root canals all day?

As for the "you can be a doctor" without the toil notion, I have mixed feelings on that. Not trying to be harsh, but there will always be a pecking order (and I didn't create nor do I necessarily condone it). Meaning physician will always trump dentist as the "real doctor" at least in the public's mind.

Also, there is in general a pretty different type of person who goes to dental school as opposed to medical school. I'm speaking in generalities here but I've had a good vantage point for my observations. Dentists in general are more conservative / business-motivated and by and large want to work more independently. The model of medicine -- rounding / teamwork / status of attendings doesn't often apply to dentistry. There is a great attention to detail and a focus that is not unlike a jeweler. There is an apprenticeship model which is not quite parallel to medicine.

All dentists have to have good spatial ability and fine motor coordination. A lot of what dentists do (even general dentists) require those aptitudes that someone outside of surgery or a procedurally-based specialty in medicine don't really need to be highly skillful at. Hence, the DAT has a spacial component. In other words, someone could be great in science / entreprenurial etc., but if that innate gift is not there dental school will be a nightmare or impossible.

In some ways, the way dentistry has evolved, it is very easy for practices to completely ignore the underserved. In medicine, whether you like it or not, doctors can't often run from non-paying patients. In private practice dentistry, you certainly can.

The infusion of women into dentistry I think is really going to change dentistry for the better long-term. I won't write any more for now though.

Oh -- believe it or not - dentistry is very hard on the body -- ergonomically -- back, hands, etc.

[rainbabies]

kevin, you're such a wealth of info.

Kevin, thanks for the great response. That is a good insight. Any others that have experience or knowledge, I would love to hear.

As for the "you can be a doctor" without the toil notion, I have mixed feelings on that. Not trying to be harsh, but there will always be a pecking order (and I didn't create nor do I necessarily condone it). Meaning physician will always trump dentist as the "real doctor" at least in the public's mind.

ITA. Right or wrong, many people (especially MD's) assume that people only go to dental school b/c they couldn't get into med school. Same with podiatrists.

My feeling is if the goal is to have a job where you can have a daily impact on people's lives and medical situations while NOT wreaking such stress and havoc on your family, he really needs to investigate a PA or NP role. In all honestly, these folks probably worked more closely with your family on a day to day basis. Doctors always get the hero title, but it is truly a team effort, and there is a way to be a part of that team w/o sacrificing your family to medicine.

Ask your dh to consider your daughter's time in the hospital. How much did you see the doctor -- he or she was there a LOT -- all hours of the day / night - weekday / weekend. If this person was married, you clearly saw more of them than his spouse did. That is the way it will be - from years 3/4 of med school on out. That is what finally convinced my dh to change specialties (he started out as a general surgeon).

If he decides to do it -- we'll be here. I just hate to hear of a family put through this ringer for what is waiting on the other end.

signed - Polly Positive

Kevin, that was an amazing summary of dentistry. The only thing I disagree with is the idea that the public automatically trusts doctors more than dentists. I have been to endodontists that are skilled surgeons; I have been to crap MD doctors who had more limited and less up to date knowledge bases than PAs. In general, I have found the quality of dentists to be a little higher than the doctors I have been to - - for dental specialists, they are really good because its quite hard to get those spots; for generalist dentists they typically have the good business sense to hire very, very good hygenists, who do 99% of the work anyway. So, for me at least I don't trust or respect doctors any more than dentists - - its very person-specific.

As for the limited scope of practice to dentistry, that argument I just DON'T GET -- particularly as applied to endodontics. I have known so many people in MD medicine who killed themselves to get into highly, highly specialized positions - - these are the most coveted in medicine. In these positions your range of practice shrinks to almost nothing - - you are spending the majority of time doing the same few procedures, just like an endodontist would. So, I think there is something irrational going on - - I mean, some people in ortho for example just work on hands and people are killing themselves for those residency slots. How is working on the hand OR ankle OR foot for a career different from concentrating on surgeries of the mouth and jaw for a career? Maybe I am missing something . . .

[Meenah]

Just my opionion but you have to like what you are doing - if you want to be a medical doc go to med school. If you want to be a dentist, go to dental school. I have great respect for both, but personally would not want to work in the mouth (I don't even like mouth injuries that come to the ER)!

SMS92,

I think you may have misunderstood what I was trying to convey. First, I didn't say that the public "trusts" doctors more than dentists. My point was in general, I think M.D.s win the status game -- a game I didn't create nor one that I think should dictate (in a large measure) what one should do with one's professional life. I guess we can disagree on whether that is the case, but I'm not sure that I ever said that everyone walking around thought that -- e.g. I don't think my point falls because you happen to respect your endodontist. I do too, but at the risk of sounding rude, I'm not sure either of us are John Q. Public (though that typed out sounds snotty as hell I can't find another way of making the point).

As for talking about the limited scope of dentistry, I'm well aware that there are orthos for instance who later in their practice do almost nothing but hip replacements for instance. When I wrote of endos doing "root canals" all day, I didn't mean to denigrate that or say there were no parallels to medicine. Though I see that's not apparent (unless you're a mind reader) that I was kind of joking about a procedure most people dread having done and also hinting at the fact that many people in medicine simply aren't interested much in the mouth.

When I made the reference to an attention to detail almost like a jeweler, I was largely referring to those persons who remain general dentists though a lot of prosthodontic work is amazing and really would blow anyone's mind. Again, I don't mean to knock dentists when I say this but despite even the increasing focus on systemic disease and public health in dentistry at large, the general training of general dentists is necessarily much more narrow than that of physicians' in the first four years of medical school. That's not good nor bad it just is.

Likewise, because of that you will find different types of people gravitating toward dentistry. Again, I'm not saying that's good or bad. The kind of precision work required of general dentists in training and the courses and clinical experiences found in those first four years is significantly different [from that of medical school]. I'm limiting myself to generalists as I realize there are extreme and more rare examples where the training and skill set -- and even curriculum overlaps with medicine such as for those pursuing oral-maxillofacial surgery training.

Actually, my point about contrasting dentistry and medicine in what may seem like broad brush terms was to give respect to both and caution anyone (such as the original poster) not to simply think that they're largely interchangeable. Certainly, there are folks out there that would be equally competent, skillful and happy with either decision but I think those folks are few and far between. There are lots of people out there who would make better physicians than dentists and vice versa. In short, there is a wide variation in aptitudes, daily work, skill sets, curriculum, lifestyle between the fields (particularly comparing general dentists and non-specialized physicians). Both fields (and the decision makers themselves) get sold short when they're thought of as interchangeable).