Oh My Blog!

Ok after me complaining about DF's mother and her making no effort at all, she rang me last night Just to see how my doctors appointment went and that she had a candle lite all day to make sure it went alright (lighting candles for everything she's worried about makes her feel better). I was shocked to say the least but delighted she did and she did so unprompted, even DF was surprised, he said'what? she phoned you? what did she say?' .

I told her everything went well, my mum came with me and my OB is actually the nicest person in the world and included my mum and MAtthew and showed them the scan.

He said he wasn't surprised I could feel the baby moving, I thought I was nute because I'm only 12w+6d, but he said its because I'm so thin and this baby is seriously active, he/she did a full somersault and twisted around a few times too...all it needed was a bit of music! I didn't feel anything with Matthew until 19 w and when I did they where kicks, this feels like a worm wriggling about, only feel it when i sitting down and doing nothing else.

Well the tables have turned and spring is on its way!

Everything is going well here on all fronts. The days are much brighter and longer, I'm not getting up in the dark and coming home in the dark from work anymore. The days are not as cold although frost is still thick on the cars until 10am, but its more bearable because the winds have calmed down and we can get out for walks and go to the park again.
Potty training is in full swing and have had success with number one but none with number 2 which is eh.....messy.
Matthew is now looking forward to the baby growing in mummy's tummy and is looking through my smyths catologue (kind of the same as toys r us) and picking out a baby to bring home. He is also trying to look through my belly button to see the baby and hasn't been too successful...i'm sure that will stop once the baby is strong enough to kick hard enough!!

I'm into maternity wear and glad to see styles have improved since the last time round, although i didn't need anything until 6 months then! have gained 4 kg on my original pregnancy weight, so within normal range which is good, as i never ever reached my pregnancy weight the last time being so sick.

I've just found out that an ex of mine is the current SpR in Emergency in the dept where DF is starting his SpR in July, there are only 5 or 7 of them...major cringe.....haven't told Ciaran yet.

I've just brought Matthew to Mass, I started going back to mass when the sickness settle and Matthew thinks its the best thing ever (we hated it as kids!) it was all...'shhhhh you're in gods house mummy, no talking', 'where's god, i can't see him, tell him everyone is waiting', 'more singing, tell the children to do more singing mummy'......its hard work! and the older generation did not appreciate it!

Ciaran is home 1 week today for 2 weeks, we're so excited, we're off to Barcelona for valentines for 2 nights without the dude. We'll be staying at mine until we get back from barcelona and then at his mums fro a few nights and then back to ours, I reckon i can handle a few days no problem.

So, we cancelled the wedding, everything was booked, the registrar, the venue, the caterers, my dress, the bridesmaid dresses are hanging in my wardrobe, the florist etc etc, then when future MIL was going down her list of people she was going to invite we said actually no, its only going to be 30 people, our immediate family, ciarans godparents, and about 5 friends plus guest each. well it causes uproar and ended in her refusing to give her blessing for our wedding. And I know people will think well leave her and get married anyway, but Ciaran can't do that, he feels he's her only son, and she has given up a lot when he was child so he could have his dreams of travelling when he was a teenager and support through college etc. She also said she couldn't agree to me walking up the aisle with child and not in a church. So we cancelled it, and yes its giving in, but for the peace i'm ok with it, we've reset the date for next april. Only thing is my dress, I've already paid 1/3 off it as a deposit and its not refundable and 2 sizes too big for me to accomadate the bump, I need to get the bargaining streak out of me and dust it off and go and speak to the shop.

April next year does give us more time to organise a wedding together, and less stress, we have so much going on right now. I'm glad everything has worked out nicely and that the programme director and ciarans mentor have been incredably supportive, unbelivably so, and have reitterated about coming back into second year if someone drops out. We looked into every possible financial solution so we could live there, spoke to the hospital social workers, spoke to PD and looked into every option and nothing would be available to us until we are there 3 years. Our loans in Ireland cannot be held for that long, in fact can't be put on hold at all. DF also got some kind of evaluation and evaluation from all his rotation has showed he's topped everyone in his group on every rotation, however he has also done 3 years in ireland post graduation so we know thats obviously a major factor and it would be unfair to compare to the other interns when he has 3 years experience already.

Ciaran is involved in 2 pieces of research and writing a chapter in a book with the programme there and they all want him to carry on with the research in Ireland. He will also present the the research pieces at a conference in europe somewhere as well as dublin.

It all seems too good to be true, but we also know we have one very tough year ahead when Ciaran comes home and we have a new baby.

Hopefully it will all be happy days

ETA: Ireland had there first game today in the Rugby six nations championship (six nations is Ireland, England, Scotland, Wales, France and Italy, each team plays one game against the other teams and there are two titles, the trplie crown, just between wales engand scotland and Ireland and one of those teams has to win their 3 games against the other teams to claim the title, and the grand slam, the team that beats all the teams in the championship), It was a fantastic game Irelnad won 19-9 against wales today but it was a tough game, france and england look extremly strong in their games but Ireland is tipped to take the championship which is always seen as a really bad omen because whoever is tipped, never wins!

I must put some up to date photos up, I will after Ciaran has been home and hopefully we have some nice ones of Barcelona.

Matthew found some pictures of me when i was six today and thought they were of himself! no mistaking he's my baby! He's had a bit of an upset tummy this morning but after a long lie in for him it seems to have past and is eating and drinking as normal looking for his favourite, sausies and toast and orange juice.

Don't really have much of a bump, more a bloated look so far. Nausea and vomiting has past for the most part and just a bit nauseated in the evening, most of the time is tolerable and don't need the Zofran. I'm afraid i don't 'bloom' in pregnancy, I'm so far from being energetic right now its no joke.

Ciaran is home on monday morning and I really can't wait to see him again! Another good Rugby Match on this weekend to look forward this weekend! Go on you boys in green!

I haven't been on over the past week and a half and have been enjoying every minute that Ciaran has been home.

Barcelona was lovely, it was so nice to have clear blue skies and sun shining even if the temperatures are still cool and we eally enjoyed having 2.5 days that didn't involve families and career although we missed DS like crazy.

The pregnancy nausea has settled and occasionally just getting light headed. feel a bit more energetic. Baby now moving regularly and Ciaran has felt it twice, well we think so, hard to know it he is feeling baby move or digestion in my stomach because i feel both at the same time and unable to comfirm for him! it would be fantastic if he got a definate feel before he goes back next monday

Everyone is sick here at home with Diarrheoa and Vomiting! I think Matthew had it already because he didn't eat for 3 days (he has never ever done that, even when sick in the past) and vomited once and slept the whole time, I have a dodge tummy at the moment, no vomiting but that might be the zofran but still running to the bathroom and stomach pretty sore. Ciaran and I have both had a chest infectio, still we haven't let us get in the way and have had a fabulous time.

Future MIL has only managed to upset me once and that was when she told Ciaran the reason she didn't come to my scan was because i called her and told her not to because i wanted my own mother there which 1. is a total lie, 2. my mum was working 3. i called her twice to ask her to come and both ciaran and i asked her together and 4. i hate hate hate liars and what was worse she told ciaran not to tell me so god only knows what else she has said.

Whats most important is Ciaran knows she was lying to minute she said it and I have told him I am not having any contact with her unless its with him because i'm not putting myself in a position where she could make me out to be a liar again.

Well its been a busy week, Matthew has had another vomiting bug this week which seemed to wipe him out for 3 days and boy is he making up for it in the last 24 hours!!!! He has also decided in the last few days that he doesn't want diapers at night time doesn't matter that he is still wet at night, he's quite happy....mummy is not so much, so going to try putting him on the potty at about midnight and see if that makes a difference.

Tomorrow is my anomaly scan and quite nervous as well as excited to see the baby, just hope all is going ok.

I got a phone call from my younger brother the yesterday to tell me 2 of his fingers had gone completely numb and contracted and he was refusing to go to hospital, today his thumb and palm of his hand started going numb too. He went to the ER and has to go back in 2 days to have it reviewed and have a CT or MRI, the hospitals here especially in the countryside, don't do CT's or MRI's except mon-fri 9-5, unless its life or death, slight exageration but not far off, you would just have to argue it out nig time with radiology and have your patient on a ventilator with a massive head injury. I just hope its a minor injury from his work (horticulture) and he will recover quickly and nothing sinister.

I think i've probably tried to update this several times in the last few weeks but quit while I was ahead, plus I know our lives are so indescisive to the extreme that I decided I would wait and actually see what we were doing.

We had our 20 week scan and all is looking perfect so far, and as the midwife said to me, it looks like we will be changing the colour scheme this time! Absolutely trilled to be having a girl although we know we would have been delighted anyway as long as everything looks like its healthy. It just means there will be less pressure on me to go again in the future.

The pregnancy has been very different to my previous one, not only did I not have full blown hyperemesis and i'm now feeling in perfect health, the mood swings are UNREAL, I go from being on top of the world to creating a puddle of tears within seconds.

Future MIL still pissing me off regularly with stupid comments, my tolerence is getting lower for comments like 'you will be bigger this time because its a girl' Me 'oh thats just a fairy story' to which she got so insulted over because she takes it so seriously....queue me wanting to pull all my hair out, instead i just bit my tongue and held it in, i now have a nice blister there! I should just be able to ignore them all but the comments just come in such huge volumes!

Myself and ds were meant to travel to Boston on the 16th of April, it was meant to be 2 days after our wedding, well the good news is that I don't have to endure going to the the graduation thing we were meant to be at, at our wedding venue the day before the wedding, bad news is that Ciaran has decided that Matthew and I shouldn't come to Boston either because of the cost involved when we are there (even thought I have this covered), he has to study (well if he can't get out of bed in time to call us before he goes to work at midday I doubt much study is actually going to be done!) and risk of preterm labour (no risk accord to my OB, and will see him the day before travel for ultrasound and full check up). But apparently I'm being unreasonable, maybe I am. He's been without internet access at home for 2 weeks and I've had about 3 phonecalls (about 10 mins long) and email. I'm guessing feeling so insignificant DF's life is part and parcel of being a medical spouse Right now it feels like it would be less stressful to have no contact than so little and hearing about what he is doing on his days off rather than giving us a call.

Ciaran got offered a registrar job in all 5 universtiy hospitals he interviewed in and has taken his first choice....now all I have to do is start house hunting.

The little man, who turned 3 two weeks ago has been my shining light that keeps me smiling! he is just getting funnier and funnier everyday. He was hiarious when i was sick and kept coming up to me to give me a 'huggy better'.

I'm sure I've left out loads, I'll be back later to edit....need to serve the hunger pangs right now

I've a lot of reading to catch up on. HEre sare some photos of us.

The 23 week old bump




Matthew in his new house (birthday present, still a bit cold for it yet though)

Well I have just got back from 2 days at a luxury hotel and spa with my friends from school. Some of us have been friends since we were 4 years old and these days its near impossible to get together with our other commitments so we organised this trip oh maybe a year ago. It was the most relaxed I've been in years, of course it lasted until about 2 hours after I got home, but still definately worth it. I had my first ever massage, first ever facial ad first ever pedicure along with other treatments. I feel asleep several times through treatments, at one point it felt like I was so relaxed I forgot to breath and jumped slightly to take a breath!! The hotel was in a lovely area that I would never have thought of going but the scenery was beautiful, surrounded by lakes, fabulous view of the sunrise with mist gathering just above the lakes. Wish I had had my camera!

Ds and I have had a lovely week, due to a public holiday during the week i've onyl had to work 2 fairly short days, and the weather has been fabulous! glorious sunshine and its dure to get warmer over the weekend, it says was 49 degrees on my computer but think it was warmer, unfortunately I only know celcius and it was 18 degrees and due to be 20 tomorrow, that its my optimum tempiture, any warmer I just get uncomfortable! Being half Maltese DS loves the sunshine and is definately more tolerable to it than I am!

Well its offical, I'm on observation for pre-eclampsia which definately outrules me flying to Boston to see Ciaran on Monday! My ankles and feet are swollen...it is NOT a good look, and I have protein in my dipstick, BP is up a bit for me, my normal is 90/50, on a good day, usually lower, and its now 125/85, which is obviously normal for majority of people and I'm also getting headaches. Scan was fine thankfully. I'm off work for 2 weeks, BP monitor every couple days and OB will decide if I can go back to work. Please, please please, god this baby stays put until term!

25 weeks and 6 days

Tomorrow we are 28 weeks and so I took some bump pictures. TBH I thought I was much much bigger until I saw them. My OB commented on how much the baby had grown since my previous visit 3 weeks ago. The baby is still ass first over the exit but plenty of time to turn. In the mean time I'm house hunting and hoping to find something in the next week and move in before Ciaran gets home on the 27th of June. I've begun to buy a few bits and pieces that we'll need for the baby. I borrowed everything the last time, even Matthews cot was my own cot from when I was a baby but I'm going to leave it in my parents house as they said they would love to the odd overnight babysitting from time to time. Work is busy at the moment, I've 8 weeks until I"m forced out on Maternity Leave which is also just a few days before Ciaran comes home so it will be nice to be off for the few days before he starts his new job (as long as I don't have to see MIL and we can just chill out).

Matthew has his ENT appontment tomorrow and hopefully he will be able to re insert his grommits in the next couple of weeks. I'm praying he doesn't need a adenoidectomy also but we'll find out tomorrow.

Here's the bump:

Sorry about flash in photos its my sisteres camera and I haven't a clue how to turn the flash off on it. Also having a bad bad hair day hence the reson for being decapitated in them! and also a big yeeeeaahh ankle swelling has gone!!!

Matthew and I are just home from seeing his ENT doctor. He is the nicest man ever and it is reassuring that he has 4 young children also.....as in he says things to be well if it was my three year old this is what I'd do.... which I like.

Matthew's ears are once again bunged up with fluid and nowhere for it to go, tankfully his tonsils are normal size but he couldn't get a good view of his adenoids, he will check them out under anaesthetic, last time they where slightly enlarged and if they have become bigger he'll take them out. I'd say he will, his breathing is quite obstructed at night time but then again it the hayfever season and that could be affecting his breathing. Anyway next Friday is d-day and its in the hospital I used to work which is lovely. They bring a consultant anaesthesist over from the childrens hospital for the day to do the paeds anaesthetics and he's also a nice guy and brought me into recovery before they ex-tubated him so that when they did they could put him in my arms to wake up, which I think is lovely, even though its only a very short, very mild anaesthetic. I had 4 operations as a child and I remember waking up screaming looking for my mum so I'm glad ds goes to sleep in my arms and wakes up in my arms and will hopefully know no different.

Its 2 am....would the neighbours pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease come home and turn their house alarm off!!!!!!

Myself ad Matthew went to visit a friend of mine I've known since early childhood. We've been down to her house quite a lot this week as she's just broken up with her long term boyfriend and more than missing him she really misses his twin daughters who are 3 so so much. Matthew loves going to visit her but as a general rule he's a mummy's boy and never likes to go anywhere or be left anywhere that I'm not.

Well I said to MAtthew, ok time we pack up and go and he point blank refused he absolutely adores my friend and she said sure leave him here for a few hours and I'll walk him up to your house in a few hours (she's temporarily living back in our town while she finds somewhere new to stay). so I did. I've now realised that I haven't a clue when the last time I was without MAtthew and not at work?! Its so quiet without him!

MY friend is fantastic with kids and used to do loads of aupairing so know she will be grand in the event of any toileting accidents!

Hope the little dude is having fun!!!

To say I'm feeling pathetically sorry for myself is an under statment.

Today my back went into spasm, at work, and I'm now flat on my back, at home unable to get comfortable. Its an old injury that I did when I was dancing years ago and with my tummy getting bigger and dragging my posture scew-ways. Every movement is hurt (except moving fingers ) and there are no drugs safe to take other than tylenol and I might as wel eat smartis for all the good they are doing. I got an emergency appointment with my Physiotherapist and it has helped a lot.

The worst bit is that Matthew is having his op tomorrow, it means doing a lot of sitting around and then a lot of cuddling in the afternoon when he wakes up and to be honest I've burst into tears a few times at the thought of it...We'll be like the blind leading the blind tomorrow! I'm going to drop into a pharmacy on the way to the hospital and hopefully get a heat pack i can stick on it for the day tomorrow which will hopefully help.

Sorry for the pathetic moan, it really helps to get it all out here! plus reading the threads is taking my mind of it a bit.