what effect did pregnancy and childbirth have on you?

[PrincessFiona]

Sorry guys...but for most women, having another life grow inside of them does change the body..... I never relost the huge amount of weight that I gained with pregnancy #1 ...sadly.... I was a size 8 when I got married and had always been weight conscious. I was literally putting on 10 puonds month and would sob at the OB....I don't know how it happened....everyone is different.

I've also known other women to gain a lot of weight and others who've gained nothing at all...

My feet, btw, also grew a size...

kris

Oh yeah. The feet. I think mine grew about a quarter of a size. I know that sounds silly but shoes that were a little snug before didn't fit but generally, the size didn't change.

[PrincessFiona]

My feet even changed after my pregnancy with Zoe...go figure :huh: My weight now is the same as it was before I got pregnant with her (but is sadly still too high). Just yesterday, I tossed most of my nice shoes out...boohoo.

(time to go shopping )



Seriously, grasshopper...I wouldn't worry about your wardrobe in regards to conception....in a couple of years, you just might want to buy new *digs* anyway...

kris

:thud: Holy sh*t.

I'm sorry I'm so immature, but

Me too, Alison.

I loved being pregnant and look forward to being pregnant again....I could definitely do without the morning sickness, though.

My pregnancy was, for the most part, a breeze. The delivery ran smoothly, except DS was born with the cord wrapped around his neck three times AND he had a true nuchal knot. We are truly blessed that DS was born healthy....just thinking of what could have happened makes my stomach churn and I'm sure that is something I will worry about in the next pregnancy.

I am more physically active now than I was before I was pregnant so I'm a couple of sizes smaller now. Do not do as I did and sell your pre-pregnancy clothes on ebay for dirt cheap when you are 8 months pregnant and convinced that you'll never fit into them again. You just never know.

It did take me a few weeks (probably more like months) to adjust to having this little person in the house who insisted on nursing ALL THE TIME. I kept a chart of all of DS's feedings during that first month and recently came across it while cleaning out his closet. During those first few weeks, I probably spent 12 hours a day just breastfeeding and didn't get more than an hour or so of sleep at a time. :thud: I don't know how I survived and am nervous about going through that again. At least with the second one, I'll know that the all-nighters won't last forever.

This thread has made me truly terrified.

That link that was posted was really eye-opening. I've never seen a woman who's had kids' belly before (except my mom). I never really thought about the stretch marks and loose skin, etc.

Do the physical changes affect one's feeling sexy?

[Stella]

Holy freakin' crap. I think I want to adopt.

[DCJenn]

Oh believe me, there are many, many reasons why I was thrilled to adopt.

Just do a search back to re-read the insanity at the time though. Bottom line, you're physically unchanged but mentally scarred.


My mother blames her bad hip on the fact that my brother apparently sat on it for nine months.

What a fantastic site. Oh how I wish I had seen this before pregnancy. I think it is important to know what most mothers really look like under their clothes, because then it won't come as such a shock when it happens to you. It's about time the airbrushing died down and we saw what reality looks like.

As others have mentioned, my feet got bigger, and I have a bad back now that I never had before, too.

Motherhood, parenting, pregnancy, childbirth - I'm coming to the conclusion (a bit late) that a lot of what you see in the media is lies, and if you fall for it, you'll be disillusioned if you decide to become a parent! It's great, but not always in the ways you expect beforehand.

[Rapunzel]

still getting used to the fact that my tummy and breasts will never be the same again, but my sweet son was worth it.

As a female w/o children, who is mulling over the idea of having a child (probably not for another 2 years, though), what do you guys (mothers, that is) mean by your body changes??? I know that there is fat accumulation that never leaves and silvery stretch marks, but what else?
Do your feet really increase in size, permanently? Does your pelvis really permanently widen?? Do your boobs really shrink? Does excess skin hang around your belly afterwards, or what? Just give it to us "nonmothers" straight up, no candy-coating, please.

The reason I ask is that I dearly love some of my clothes, and with our tight budget, some of my clothing purchases were big "to-do's" for me. The thought of having to buy a new wardrobe, especially expensive dress clothes, along with the expense of a new child, frankly freaks me out. Is it really that bad, or am I wiggin' about $$$ again when it really isn't a problem?

No sugar coating here but I have probably had a much more positive experience with my post-baby(ies) body:


Breasts: Mostly changed in "consistancy". Went from being perky and firm to soft and not so perky. Not saggy, though. Mine are not heavy enough to show any sagginess right now. I went down a cup size. However, my body looks proportional with this smaller size so I cannot complain.

Stretch Marks: When you first get them they are angry, red streaks across your breasts (temporarily from engorgement when your milk comes in) then, over a few weeks, these streaks fade to a silvery color - almost not really a color but just more shiny parts of your skin. If you gain weight in your thighs you will see the same - and the skin on your abdomen will have some the first pregnancy.

Hips: My hips widen each pregnancy. And, they always - always return back to size. It takes a few months for them to fully fit back together - but they always do. It is weird when they start "unhinging" in the back - the kind of pop out of place and I can feel the difference. When they go back together again sometime after pregnancy they stop doing that popping thing and knit together again nicely.

Excess skin: If you lose all of the weight and get yourself back into shape you will notice that the skin on your belly (especially in the very middle - around the belly button) takes on a bit of a crepe-paper texture. It does not affect wearing normal clothing. However, two piece swimsuits you might want to give a second thought. The first pregnancy I didn't notice this excess skin - it was after my second pregnancy (when I stretched REALLY far with twins) that it became noticeable.

Feet: By my third trimesters my feet are a little wider than before - but that is from the pressure of the extra weight along with any water retainment I have (which, I usually retain quite a bit of water during pregnancy). My feet today - in the beginning of my fifth pregnancy - are the same size and shape that they were before my first pregnancy.


Bottom line: If you make it a priority to get your body back into the weight and fitness it was in prior to pregnancy you will have no problem wearing your former clothing. You will want to make allowances for the "stages" along the way, though. You *might* need to purchase some in-between clothing that is a couple of sizes bigger than your normal clothing to wear until you get your body back (and, as you've noticed that timeperiod can vary from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy). I fit a size 2 (average being size 4) prior to my first pregnancy - and that is the exact same size I was prior to this last (fifth) pregnancy. You will have much less problems getting things looking like pre-baby if you take off any extra weight ASAP.

One note - my uterus, after having stretched to accomodate twins - is a tad larger than before I had any children. As such, I cannot have the concave abdomen (the kind that sinks in between your hip bones) ever again. I have to "make do" with just having a flat area there - but that's fine as long as I can draw a straight line from hip to hip. Just warning you - your uterus will shrink back down and slip back into place - but it might not be exactly the same size or tucked quite back in as neatly as pre-pregnancy.[/b]

Seriously, grasshopper...I wouldn't worry about your wardrobe in regards to conception....in a couple of years, you just might want to buy new *digs* anyway...

Ummm... maybe not. At 32, I still wear some things I wore in high school. When I like something, it is hard for me to give it up!!!!!!!! I don't care that is is out of style - I think it is a security thing- like Linus' blanket.

Going back to those pics on that website... I am totally straight and everything, but that Portuguese/ Brazilian gal is HOT!!! All the writing on the page is Portuguese- she's probably Brazilian. I'm saving that photo, so when/if I am preggers, I am going to a photographer, and saying, "make me look like this!" And then hanging that partial nude shot in a 20X24 frame over the fireplace!!! Me vain- nah

[DCJenn]

Really, this entire thread is just more proof that women are amazing.

and think about it for those who are totally freaked out- your body isn't the same at 30 or 40 as is it is at 20 EVEN IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN PREGNANT.

You will have wrinkles, your breasts will not be as perky as they are now, your freckles will turn into spots. Your hair thins. Your skin gets dry(er). You feet may grow anyway. Your nose and ears continue to lengthen. (seriously)

You will need bifocals.

Don't let the physical changes of pregnancy freak you out. Gravity works regardless. There's a reason it's called a Law.

Jenn

[Rapunzel]

I agree - I don't think I would look much different today if I never had any children.

I got pregnant with my first child at the age of 20 and with this last child I am 32.

12 years does mark your body in some ways.

[Rapunzel]

http://www.theshapeofamother.com/

Says it better than I could - the differant degrees that women get affected pp.

The pictures added by real women are endless - large and small women, women with 1 baby, women with 7 , women who miscarried, all bare some mark from motherhood.

Holy Crap!

My stomach does NOT look like that (ie the first pic on the first page)!


I have approx. an area about four inches in diameter centered on my belly button that is kind of wrinkly. But, good grief! That is extreme!!

Edited to add: OK, now I've clicked around the other pics on the website and I have to say I honestly don't have as extreme a post-pregnancy body as any of those pics! Seriously! If I had never had kids before I would think it was a really scary site, too! And, most of my friends in real life that have had children look better than I do post-babies (ie I really don't know a lot of people with bodies that look like that after children)! I wonder if that site is really just about one-ups-manship on "Oh yeah? Well my body looks worse than yours!" Sorry, that website is not my reality or the reality of most of my friends irl.

I just wanted to add the following thoughts that have been running around in my mind since starting this thread.

It used to upset me terribly to hear horror stories of birth. I couldn't understand why women would go on about them, as if to scare those who were to come. But having gone through it myself, I get it a lot better now! It's a means of debriefing after a very real trauma. Those who don't need to, don't do it. But for those who suffered, having someone hear and validate your story helps a lot. Those photos are possibly one means of doing that.

The states of pregnancy and motherhood came as a shock to me, because it was the first time I truly realised that men and women are different. Obviously I was aware of the physical differences, but thanks to the equality movement, I was living in a kind of gender-neutral world. In my mind, there was nothing that a woman couldn't do, or men either, for that matter. Now, I almost feel that "mothers" are a third sex. I seriously felt like I'd joined a different gender group - one with different abilities and characteristics to the one I previously thought I'd belonged to. I know how weird that probably sounds, but it is the only way I can explain the magnitude of the surprise.

And then birth itself? There is nothing to describe the intensity of that experience. I even told DH afterwards that I wasn't particularly afraid of death anymore, because I'd been through something that was just as big. It felt for a while, during and after the experience, like the curtain that hangs between this world and the next was torn open, and I could temporarily sense the other side. Birth to me was both terrible and wonderful, a bit like the God of the Old Testament - not something you can see fully and continue to live in quite the same way. I don't believe that there is any other experience that life-changing, and I actually felt quite a gulf between myself and DH for quite a while, when I realised that he would never have such an intense experience - until he dies, anyway. That kind of intensity makes your wedding day look like a dot in comparison.

And then childrearing is another story in itself...but the whole deal is all about letting go of your own expectations.